Autistic women assemble! #3

[Nepmarthiturn]

This is a thread for autistic women to connect, chat, vent, laugh, share and seek advice and solidarity (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

Any autistic women newly finding the thread are very welcome to join us (even if awaiting diagnosis) but we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please…

Previous threads:

1

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4777843-autistic-women-assemble

#2
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4865805-autistic-women-assemble-2

I can also relate to her lol

I have just realised I've been writing the dates in my planner with the notebook upside down. I've done over half of the dates in the book so there's no going back, and the only difference is that the date area at the top of the page is smaller than the blank last line at the bottom of the page...but I'll know. Every time I look at my planner for the next five flipping months I'll remember.

That sounds really annoying

I would have really flipped out over it a few years back but I've tried to let go of the perfectionism (it's taken a while! ).

It's done and I don't want to throw it away as that's wasteful. I decorate each page with stickers/washi tape and it will be less noticeable when I've done it. My comment about noticing it every day will hopefully be an exaggeration!

I do appreciate the sympathy though!

I’m doing a diary in a notebook and I accidentally wrote the wrong day the other day so I ripped the whole page and wrote the right day because if I just crossed it out, it would have annoyed me so much so I understand

To do anything else would have been unreasonable

🤣🤣🤣

DS was awarded ADP as you all know. I'm going to ask for a reconsideration because I think he should've got the higher rate. I invited our local welfare rights officer to look at the application and she came round yesterday.

I'd printed it out so that she could have a look at it.

Imagine my horror when she scrawled her email address on the front page. Not even neatly.

I'm going to have to print out page one again now.

Can we talk about ARFID?

One of my children (they're all adults now) has ARFID.

I'm so tired of seeing threads on here where people announce that they "wouldn't allow" their child to have this eating disorder. Apparently you just need to be firm, then your child will magically stop having ARFID, and by extension, autism.

It's just another way of bashing disabled people.

I’m not sure if my son has afrid or not. He definitely has a very limited diet. I once made chocolate mousse. EVERYONE likes chocolate mousse and I fully expected him to wolf it down.

imagine my surprise when he tasted just a tiny bit of it on the tip of his tongue. It really opened my eyes. He was clearly afraid to taste it.

normal people suck. They’re devoid of imagination and compassion. Surround yourself with as few as possible and you’ll be happier. Their comments come from ignorance and if the internet had taught us anything it’s that you can’t argue with stupid.

Thank you, @LoveSandbanks

My DS definitely has ARFID.

He now lives on Huel, and eats chips if we go out anywhere.

He's much happier now that he's acknowledged it and he likes the taste and texture of Huel. He has a very physical job so he consumes a lot of the stuff.

He's my older DS.
The younger DS is the one who's just moved to our village. He has a limited diet. Just beige stuff. But not as extreme as his older brother.

My DD who is autistic eats anything - as long as it's vegan.

Yes my son eats beige all the way. When we go out he’ll often eat nachos but only with the cheese, none of that chilli muck 🤣. Or pizzas but with very little tomato sauce. I don’t even apologise anymore. He deserves to eat what he feels comfortable eating.

huel is great stuff and I used to eat loads of it. I’ve gone right off the powder but often buy a premixed bottle. I’m gluten free (possibly coeliac) and used to like the bars but they’ve changed them
and they now contain wheat 😭

im trying to avoid ultra processed foods which is hard if you’re looking for gluten free substitutes rather than replacing them with whole foods.

apologies, I’ve rambled and turned this into something about me 🙄

@TheShellBeach some people are just completely incapable of accepting that not everyone is the same as them. Just because they don’t have an issue with something it means that no one else can.

My own mother, who I’m no longer in contact with, was like this. To the point where she thought everyone should have the same likes and dislikes as her and couldn’t understand why anyone would not like the colour green because it was her favourite. She’s a fairly extreme example but I tend to put those kind of people all in the category of not worth listening to.

My DD with suspected ASD doesn’t have ARFID but she can be quite picky around texture. We’re lucky that she will try new foods but she does often like to eat the same thing every day. It tends to change every few months.

I promised myself that I wouldn't post on any more autism threads, yet here we go again.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/ami_being_unreasonable/5001883-could-autism-be-caused-by-lack-of-sleep

Fuck em, Shell. I cba with such nonsense. I've just posted on a SEN thread as it's actually quite an interesting (albeit depressing) discussion.

Shite like that thread is just unhelpful, though. I don't know why some people are so bloody desperate for the "AHA! I knew it - it was X all along causing Autism"

Bloody crackpots. They never understand causation v correlation either.

I've had my say and reported that thread. I've just realised that I recognised the OPs name. They show up on every Autism thread and most of their comments are usually deleted. They are hateful wind up merchants with absolutely nothing but ignorance to bring to the table.

I’ve just read that thread. It’s horrible

Lovely to know that some people think we need to be cured.

Or that some of us aren't disabled.

I didn’t read the thread in it’s entirety because I can’t be arsed to argue with stupid but I have added my two penneth worth and hope that my implication that ND people are superior wasn't too subtle for the normies 🤣

I had an email from MN an hour ago saying they were looking at that thread. Still there. Even though every post by the OP is dripping in disrespectful, deliberate ignorance.

I hope that MN ban them, as there is a pattern to the OPs bile. In the meantime, if MN do nothing, I will continue to point this out. If MN take this as troll hunting, that's not my problem. They should be stamping out this nasty, shitty ableism more quickly.

Does anyone find it hard to make decisions
im struggling trying to decide on a pram taken weeks to decide
also sleep deprived and get migraines every afternoon

I associate things and can’t stop
eg a grey pram reminds of me the “feeling grey” saying which puts me off

Hi everyone,

Ive dipped in and out lurking on these threads. I've finally booked a GP appointment to discuss a referral for assessment, which I am very nervous about!! Ive been putting it off for a long time.

I am planning on going through the Right to Choose route - has anyone else done this recently? Would love any tips or advice about approaching the initial GP appointment as im so worried about being fobbed off.

I am the classic case of researching for my dd who is on the assessment pathway and realising i am also autistic...

Hi @FrankieElf yes I went down the Right to Choose route as soon as it opened up. I was diagnosed within about 9 weeks with Psychiatry UK. Can highly recommend as even though the waiting times are likely to be longer now, it will still be quicker than the NHS main waiting times. I stayed on the NHS wait list then took myself off once I had my assessment report and all was complete. I believe there are more providers coming online all the time, although some do temporarily close access if they become overwhelmed.

Approaching GP:

I made a short list. Things my mum had told me about how I was as a baby / child. Very fussy, major food issues, painfully shy, late to walk etc. I also completed the AQ50 in advance as I knew they would ask me to do that anyway. I think initially I scored 36 which showed significant Autistic traits. This backs you up as it shows the need for assessment. I also explained how I was struggling at the current time (period menopause) and also mentioned family links and the fact that my daughter had been put on the waiting list for assessment. My GP instantly agreed to refer me. I feel if I hadn't gone prepared, she would have questioned my reasons / need for assessment, but I pre empted this by having info / evidence (which is my usual strategy in any medical appointments)

shocking typos - typing too fast!

I’m on the right to choose and pathway for an adhd assessment. Being assessed by Psychiatry uk at the beginning of April

Like @RainbowZebraWarrior above I went to the gp armed with lots of information