Do you know somebody who wraps presents this way?

[FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper]

We have a family member who is kind, thoughtful and generous - but she has a really weird and annoying habit with how she wraps presents.

Rather than taping the wrapping paper to itself, she will tape it TO the present inside. I'm not talking about just attaching tape to a generic inner brown protective cardboard box or cellophane that would be thrown away/recycled anyway, or even a chocolate box that wouldn't get kept once they've been eaten, but the actual cover of a book, the colourful illustrated box that a game lives in etc. that you would naturally want to keep in nice condition - meaning that, however carefully you remove the tape (and little ones tend to dive right in there and wouldn't notice anyway), the present is instantly spoiled with a torn cover or box.

We've gently commented on it, but she just smiles and says it's a lot easier to wrap things that way. If it's not blatantly obvious to her that it's an 'unusual' and unwise idea, I really don't know what else we can say to her - other than to just accept that she gives presents that are lovely but damaged and thus bring disappointment along with joy as soon as you open them.

I don't want to sound ungrateful at all; she is very kind, but then just dilutes the excitement of receiving her lovely gifts so pointlessly. Before anybody jumps to conclusions, yes we all give her lovely presents that she wants/asked for too, we aren't just there on the grab - but we just wrap them in a way that means we don't needlessly wreck them before she opens them.

Is she alone in this, or is this a more widespread practice?!

So many idiots in this world... I feel annoyed just reading about this! Forget commenting "gently" - ask her not to do this again. And/or keep a hairdryer and a bottle of white spirit handy when opening presents and insist everything stood while you tackle any misplaced sticky tape with them.

Those of us of a certain age will even remember the old price tickets that some crazy shops used to use on each item (in the days before barcodes and prices on shelves), which were impossible to remove without tearing the item.

I remember stickers that were impossible to remove. I never considered the items I bought with said stickers on were charity shop level though.

I've (thankfully) never experienced this and it's giving me palpitations just thinking about it.
The Lego boxes in particular upset me. If you have a look on eBay for vintage Lego you'll see how much people will pay for pristine boxes with instructions for discontinued sets - it can be 2 or 3 times the original RRP so I can't believe people throw the boxes away!

I just tape the paper to the paper and don't even use a weight. I just hold one piece of paper and stick the other side down. But then I don't really care about my wrapping looking pristine because that is going straight in the bin whereas I want to keep the gift protected.

I have also rejected boxes that I've ordered using click and collect from smyths toys and Argos where they've stuck a big sticker with my name on to the side of the box - once was lego which was a big no no. I've asked for a replacement without the damage.

I like the idea of giving her some gift bags to reuse!

I think this is a weird thing to do. I'm not a present person and not fussy about wrapping at all, but actually doing things that damage the gift is a bit much.

Gosh - "I can have a go at fixing it" is really not a big clue, and nowhere near as clear as you think! It wasn't even directed at her. I think you're far too passive here - you need to at least be clear that you are talking to her! They're not hints and comments if the intended receiver doesn't understand them :)

Why not say "Could you please not stick the tape to the gift next time? The gift got damaged when X opened it, and that's upsetting because we'd like your gifts to keep looking nice".

Btw is she British? I'm not and your way of gently commenting would not work in my (European) culture at all - people would remain entirely oblivious.

Madness. So an exquisitely-wrapped spoiled present is more important than one with a wrinkle or two in the paper, but which is intact and pristine inside?!

Yes, she's British. She is within clear earshot and watching on, knowing that it is her present being unwrapped and being damaged when being unwrapped carefully.

As I said before, I can only surmise that she - like some of the people on this thread - must think it fussy and silly to care about a present staying in a nice new condition.

Maybe kind of similar to the way I used to think it a bit pointless, but sweet of her nonetheless, when my DGM always insisted on getting crisp brand new £20 notes from the bank for my birthday card, rather than giving me a dirty one from her purse, when that didn't bother me in the slightest; any legal tender was equally great for me!

I do take on board the PP's very good suggestion to ask her for things like clothes or chocolates, or anything else where no part that you would keep can be damaged.

I'm starting to regret using the word 'gently' now! I meant kind of tactfully, but decisively: i.e. "Oh, you taped the paper to the box/cover, so it's got ripped?! What a shame!" rather than "What a moron you are, how utterly stupid do you have to be to do something like that, you idiot?!?! Next time, tape the paper to itself and not to the present, otherwise we will refuse them and demand replacements forthwith!!"

On clothes I don't think that's a reasonable comparison. The clothes are the item, not the packaging.

But my (somewhat hyperbolic) point is that somebody has invited YOU to their wedding/party/do; they haven't invited your dress/suit/outfit to come!!

YOU are the 'main thing' that they have requested to come along, so whatever you choose to wear is indeed just the 'packaging'!

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper agree with you 100%. Infuriating!!

yes we all give her lovely presents that she wants/asked for too, we aren't just there on the grab - but we just wrap them in a way that means we don't needlessly wreck them before she opens them.

As a pp suggested I'd stop wrapping her gifts carefully and instead wrap them as she wraps yours.
They'll get a little damaged and she'll soon get the message!

I have a family member who's careful about electricity use. He used to switch the light off in a room if he were leaving it for any period of time. All fine if he were the last person left in a room, but he frequently wasn't, so his habit irritated the rest of the family who found themselves plunged into darkness at regular intervals. He was told time and again to stop. He didn't.
His son eventually started switching the light off too anytime he noticed his dad reading in the evening. Lesson was learnt.and very quickly in the end.

Showing someone is often better than telling them.

Madness. So an exquisitely-wrapped spoiled present is more important than one with a wrinkle or two in the paper, but which is intact and pristine inside?!

The present would be intact & pristine though? High end perfume boxes have cellophane around them or do you not take that off either? My point was more it's not necessarily a new thing.

I sometimes do this. It’s easier and means the parcel looks neatly wrapped. Didn’t realize people were so attached to/planned to keep the cardboard packaging that a gift came in though 😂

I also wrap my kids presents like this and simply peel the tape off the box carefully and it’s never damaged the box anyway!

I have also rejected boxes that I've ordered using click and collect from smyths toys and Argos where they've stuck a big sticker with my name on to the side of the box - once was lego which was a big no no. I've asked for a replacement without the damage.

I said upthread that none of the Lego boxes I wrapped this year from the dc had sellotape “damage” but just realised that 3 sets were from Smyths & as you say big sticker with name/order number on. It would never cross my mind to reject my click & collect stuff. The Christmas click & collect is chaotic enough, imagine if everyone wanted to swap their items. I want to get in & out!

The Lego boxes in particular upset me. If you have a look on eBay for vintage Lego you'll see how much people will pay for pristine boxes with instructions for discontinued sets - it can be 2 or 3 times the original RRP so I can't believe people throw the boxes away!

I let my dc do what they want with the boxes. Tbh it wouldn’t cross my mind to hold onto a box for years so I could sell it for £££ at some random point in the future. My dc have so much lego that I don’t even know where I would store all the empty boxes.

This is probably blasphemy but I’ve also given lots of lego to a charity shop rather than selling it for the highest price, time is money too!

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper I can see loads of tape affecting the goods but the slither I use most certainly doesn't although I don't think I have bought anything to wrap that has a papery surface. I certainly would not stick it to something like a comic.

Also I only use light tape rather than the strong stuff and it's never affected any cardboard or books I have bought and I have 2 young kids who must definetly do not peel gently 😆

As I said before, I can only surmise that she - like some of the people on this thread - must think it fussy and silly to care about a present staying in a nice new condition.
I agree and I don't think a PP's suggestion of doing the same to her will make a difference. It wouldn't make a difference to me. I think if you really want to change it you'll have to outright explain that damage to boxes and covers upsets you and even if it doesn't upset her you would appreciate that care taken with gifts to you. If someone said that to me I might roll my eyes internally but I'd comply.

Taken to that extreme yes, I am more interested in the people than what they are wearing. I've seen women on here complaining about having 6 weddings in a year and having to buy 6 dresses. Madness. Nobody cares if you wear the same dress to two or four weddings. Someone asked me if his husband could wear chinos and a shirt instead of a suit to my wedding. Didn't cross my mind this was anything that needed asking about but it was of course fine.

I do continue wearing clothes that have small holes in. DC's school polos are clean but stained with pasta sauce and board marker. I'm not buying new ones everything they let them at the permanent markers.

Dappled, I don’t find it odd that you aren’t bothered about boxes and dust jackets, but I’m surprised that you can’t accept other people feel differently. It seems unnecessary to insist you wouldn’t even consider changing how you wrap if you found out the recipient was bothered by avoidable damage as in the op’s example.

When you go to shops, are you baffled by them trying to keep the packaging for their stock looking pristine? I mean, suppliers and retailers could sell candles, perfume, etc., in battered and torn boxes or even just put them in newspaper or plain cardboard, but they generally don’t. Isn’t that a hint that many, and probably most, people like the newness of a thing? It’s not being wrong or weird.

I also had this exact job in the 90s! But this was in the days when nobody cared about single-use plastic - weren't perfume boxes generally encased in shiny clear cellophane, so sticking the tape to it didn't matter?

"If an otherwise intelligent person sees your child (carefully) open a present from them, then the child exclaims sadly that there was tape on the box itself, so it's torn it, and you try to console them by saying "I can have a go at fixing it" - all with the giver looking on and smiling, I really don't see what bigger clue they could really need. She's not a toddler who should need things spelling out to her."

I'm obviously a terrible (and stupid) person as I'm honestly baffled at the thought of a child opening a present and then 'exclaiming sadly that the box is torn' rather than being pleased and excited at the gift itself!

I'm meeting up with some close family members later today to exchange Xmas gifts (some of which I may have wrapped by attaching a small piece of tape to the present) and I will be closely watching for any signs of psychological trauma caused by said sticky tape, and of course, will offer to pay for the appropriate therapy required.

I will also make a conscious effort to not wrap like this going forward (I've always done it - presumably just how I was shown/taught as a child ) I'm going to go now and stick a piece of paper on my sellotape dispenser (with tape obvs) to remind me!

*I'm obviously a terrible (and stupid) person as I'm honestly baffled at the thought of a child opening a present and then 'exclaiming sadly that the box is torn' rather than being pleased and excited at the gift itself!

I'm meeting up with some close family members later today to exchange Xmas gifts (some of which I may have wrapped by attaching a small piece of tape to the present) and I will be closely watching for any signs of psychological trauma caused by said sticky tape, and of course, will offer to pay for the appropriate therapy required.*

Sarcasm just because some people value or take simple pleasure in the newness and pristine look of things, in a way that you personally don’t, seems a bit dickish tbh

(Dappled, I don’t find it odd that you aren’t bothered about boxes and dust jackets, but I’m surprised that you can’t accept other people feel differently. It seems unnecessary to insist you wouldn’t even consider changing how you wrap if you found out the recipient was bothered by avoidable damage as in the op’s example.
That's the opposite of what I said. I said I would take it on board but I would need it pointed out to me because it wouldn't occur to me anyone, especially a child, was bothered by damaged packaging.

When I said "It wouldn't make a difference to me" I meant it wouldn't make me feel differently about things given to me. In a previous post I said I would change how things were wrapped if it was pointed out to me it upset someone