Do you know somebody who wraps presents this way?

[FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper]

We have a family member who is kind, thoughtful and generous - but she has a really weird and annoying habit with how she wraps presents.

Rather than taping the wrapping paper to itself, she will tape it TO the present inside. I'm not talking about just attaching tape to a generic inner brown protective cardboard box or cellophane that would be thrown away/recycled anyway, or even a chocolate box that wouldn't get kept once they've been eaten, but the actual cover of a book, the colourful illustrated box that a game lives in etc. that you would naturally want to keep in nice condition - meaning that, however carefully you remove the tape (and little ones tend to dive right in there and wouldn't notice anyway), the present is instantly spoiled with a torn cover or box.

We've gently commented on it, but she just smiles and says it's a lot easier to wrap things that way. If it's not blatantly obvious to her that it's an 'unusual' and unwise idea, I really don't know what else we can say to her - other than to just accept that she gives presents that are lovely but damaged and thus bring disappointment along with joy as soon as you open them.

I don't want to sound ungrateful at all; she is very kind, but then just dilutes the excitement of receiving her lovely gifts so pointlessly. Before anybody jumps to conclusions, yes we all give her lovely presents that she wants/asked for too, we aren't just there on the grab - but we just wrap them in a way that means we don't needlessly wreck them before she opens them.

Is she alone in this, or is this a more widespread practice?!

Yes, each to their own; but I was horrified too!

LOL.

Which bit. I like to have a book with me at all times. That means they are going to get a bit battered in transit. Do you really care more about keeping books pristine than just enjoying them?

My current one fell in the bath and has been dried on a radiator so you can imagine the state of that one.

She is more important to us than the gifts themselves; but I think this would put a huge downer on the day, and come across as rather PA.

Shops don't tend to swap items for you just because you have carelessly damaged them after purchasing them in perfect condition.

I'm just amazed that, in spite of little hints and gentle comments, she just doesn't get that wrapping presents is meant to temporarily hide them, not damage them.

If she were frail or vulnerable, I'd know she was doing her best; but she's (otherwise) very intelligent, very physically and mentally capable and works in a senior job where being meticulous is essential!

DH wraps like this, it gives me the rage. I’ve told him he’s a dick for doing it but he won’t stop as it’s easier for him like this. He’s quite clumsy and heavy handed and I think that makes his coordination harder for him holding the paper in place whilst whilst folding the other edge. He would never admit that though.
the bottom line is that if he really cared he wouldn’t do it. But he doesn’t care. Added bonus for him is that I know longer let him wrap any presents as I do care. Willfull incompetence and I’ve walked right into that one haven’t I

All my books have just shuffled a bit further back on the shelf in fear 😵‍💫

All mine have breathed a sigh of relief and continued to enjoy their relaxed lived-inness! 😂

I'm tempted, but I just couldn't bring myself to do that!

She really isn't doing it to be unkind at all; for some reason, it just doesn't occur to her that it's unwise.

I doubt she would be upset if we did do the same with her presents; but as we've seen on this thread, some people just obviously care more than others about keeping new things nice, and maybe don't understand the other viewpoint.

Never seen that, unless it’s wrapping up some sort of giant boxed item like a garden bench or huge great big piece of equipment in a discardable box. It’s very weird!
I’m perfectly ok with my books getting worn and a little battered in handbags, rucksacks, even used as a mug stand on occasion, but I wouldn’t deliberately damage one I was giving as a present to someone - the damaging of a book should be up to the recipient! Agree with the craft knife extraction or gifting of peelable tape to her next year.

I agree with the wise PPs that, for those who have any difficulties or objections with wrapping presents, gift bags are the obvious lazy-but-doesn't-look-at-all-lazy alternative.

Maybe they just 'like the misery'!

I always keep a book in my bag too but they don’t get damaged because I look after them, like my other possessions. In the bath I read magazines rather than books.

Gently commenting clearly didn't work. Be a bit more direct, straight up tell her that the children/you don't like receiving damaged gifts? E.g. "When you put sticky tape on the gift, removing the tape damages it, and that's upsetting because we'd like your gifts to keep looking nice". No point giving washi tape and gift bags if she doesn't understand the problem.

Also, I bet the book readers who believe in tough book love know don't wrap gifts in a way that damages them.

Why am I thinking that the only people who will be carefully seeking out the special peelable tape are the very ones who were far too careful to need it in the first place?!

The same as with signs, where they're put up because a lot of people have been inexplicably doing something stupid, annoying or dangerous; but the only people who ever bother to read them are the sensible ones who wonder exactly why anybody would need a sign to tell them that!

I didn't see this question. No, of course I wouldn't deliberately damage something before giving it as a gift. And I wouldn't do the bit of tape on the inside of the present thing on a book but a) I wouldn't be bothered about it if someone did it to me and b) I wouldn't categorise a tiny bit of damage to a cover as equating to being bashed around in the least.

How close are you to her? If it were
my parent or sibling, I’d happily say “What's going on? Can you please stop wrapping your lovely presents this way as it wrecks them?”

Otherwise, yeah, craft knife at the ready.

I used the 'special peelable tape' one Christmas, though I wrap normally, not like the OP's rellie - it looked very artistic but swiftly unpeeled itself & had to be replaced by normal tape. Not my happiest wrapping session.

Talking of damaged books, I was once gifted a book that had pink-stained pages (actual pages with big pink blobs, not just the edges) & stank to high heaven. The miserly gift-giver told me she'd stored all the Christmas presents together before wrapping them, & a bottle of bubble bath had leaked over my book. But she didn't see why she should buy it twice, so she dried it out & gave it to me anyway.🙄

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper - take your point about bring PA and the person being more important than the gift.

My SIL is a demon with the sellotape, she leaves no loose ends for you to open. It was really frustrating when DC were young as part of the fun is in the opening.

According to my DP it's just her way. Not so much when she had children and she sent out a wrapping guide - which included using double sided tape, ribbons/string etc to ensure presents were easy to open. Gift bags were not allowed as they didn't suit her ethos 😂😂.

I guess she'll never change nor will your relative - seems we both have crazy gift wrapping relatives - it's our cross to bear!

You sound like me. I don’t read so much nowadays but I rather liked my books to look dog eared and well read. I lost count how many books dropped in the bath😁

I would rather a brand new book given as a present looked brand new though and not out of a charity shop.

Very close. Maybe we haven't been as 'gentle' as I suggested before in trying to make the point, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Wow, what a cheek! Giving people advice that they already know full well but you apparently didn't!

Maybe the OP of the thread a week or so ago who asked what's the point of wrapping presents anyway was on to something after all!

Buy her a present of a gift wrapping course
https://janemeans.com/products/gift-wrapping-course-london

I wrap like this for everything that has a disposable box so wouldn’t do it on a book or game but would do it with a lego box!

It’s easier and quicker

Then the receiver doesn’t get that moment of having a new, pristine item, even if it’s only for a few seconds till they rip it open themselves.

I get that it doesn’t matter to everyone, but for some of us it does

I can see why some people might do it on things in larger boxes but it still causes damage and that can be a problem if you have to return anything. My XH wrapped a box like this years ago, the gift was a duplicate and then had to be returned with a slightly torn box. I wouldn't even wrap Lego like this!

This. After all, the kids only want what's in the box they don't care about the box being pristine.