Do you know somebody who wraps presents this way?

[FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper]

We have a family member who is kind, thoughtful and generous - but she has a really weird and annoying habit with how she wraps presents.

Rather than taping the wrapping paper to itself, she will tape it TO the present inside. I'm not talking about just attaching tape to a generic inner brown protective cardboard box or cellophane that would be thrown away/recycled anyway, or even a chocolate box that wouldn't get kept once they've been eaten, but the actual cover of a book, the colourful illustrated box that a game lives in etc. that you would naturally want to keep in nice condition - meaning that, however carefully you remove the tape (and little ones tend to dive right in there and wouldn't notice anyway), the present is instantly spoiled with a torn cover or box.

We've gently commented on it, but she just smiles and says it's a lot easier to wrap things that way. If it's not blatantly obvious to her that it's an 'unusual' and unwise idea, I really don't know what else we can say to her - other than to just accept that she gives presents that are lovely but damaged and thus bring disappointment along with joy as soon as you open them.

I don't want to sound ungrateful at all; she is very kind, but then just dilutes the excitement of receiving her lovely gifts so pointlessly. Before anybody jumps to conclusions, yes we all give her lovely presents that she wants/asked for too, we aren't just there on the grab - but we just wrap them in a way that means we don't needlessly wreck them before she opens them.

Is she alone in this, or is this a more widespread practice?!

It stops the box from sliding around when you come to do the ends and I only use the smallest piece of tape.

It must just be me, but I can't visualise this. If I were wrapping, say, a box with a game in it, I would pull up one end of the paper and fold it over the box, pushing the box in firmly and squarely; then press down on that end of the paper whilst I brought the other side over to meet it, press down on both ends (now covering the middle of the top of the box) and then tape where the paper joins!

If you have shiny paper it doesn't stay folded so it's much easier to stick one end down with a tiny bit of tap to hold it in place so you don't have to only have one hand free to bring the other side round. It might not be to your taste but it's obviously easier to not have to hold one piece while folding the other end at the same time.

I still don't get how one small bit of tape can cause enough damage to make an otherwise new box look like it's come from a charity shop. Such fussiness over something so small.

I've got irritated just reading about this! What a stupid, pointless and infuriating thing to do. It's so easy to wrap a gift without putting sticky tape on what's inside.

I don't want a brand new present that is marked or damaged before I've even got the paper off. Maybe this makes me an entitled cow but I would be begging my family member, "Please don't do this!"

I'm just amazed that, in spite of little hints and gentle comments

It's not that surprising, that's a poor way to communicate. It's interesting that you pulled another poster up on a passive aggressive suggestion, when your communication style seems to be passive and therefore ineffectual.

You're basically expecting her to read your mind.

Be clear and direct, aka assertive. You shouldn't expect people to understand that your hints or "gentle" comments are actually a request to alter their behaviour in a specific way.

Just explain directly!

I'm shocked at the amount of people on this thread who have said they wrap gifts in this way. My Nan used to do it, bless her, but luckily it was mainly stuff like boxes of chocolates, although there was one wooden toy where the tape took the red paint off. When people wrap like this it normally means they can pull the paper tighter than normal and it's even harder to unwrap without tearing the gift underneath. If you just put a weight on the paper, such as the tape dispenser, there is no difficulty taping paper to paper and no sliding around, and your recipient gets a pristine gift.

Lots of those 'how to wrap with minimal paper' reels over Christmas were done this way. I was having palpitations every time I saw them. Glad it's just not me🤣🤣

To be fair, most people don’t find posting on a discussion forum to be a lot of effort.

Suggest fabric wrapping to her, OP.

There’s loads of videos on TikTok showing people wrapping this way.

I think some posters are confusing normal wear and tear associated with using an item, with damaging a brand new item before you've even used it.

I wouldn't care if my book got dog eared as I was reading it. Or after I'd read it three times, it got a bit wet. Not that my second hand book, for 50p, showed signs of wear.

I would however, be pissed off if I received a new book, as a present, and due to a bit of tape being unnecessarily stuck to the cover, ripped it and damaged it before I'd even turned the first page.

How much tape does she put on the item? I have always done this and it has never damaged the goods, including paperback books but I only put a slither on so barely touches it but enough to hold the paper in place.

Such fussiness over something so small.

I don't see how it's fussy to not want something pointlessly marred for no reason whatsoever. Do you really think that people are fussy for wanting somebody giving them a present to take a tiny bit of care so that they get it in new condition?

I do see what you're saying; but maybe I phrased it slightly confusingly.

If an otherwise intelligent person sees your child (carefully) open a present from them, then the child exclaims sadly that there was tape on the box itself, so it's torn it, and you try to console them by saying "I can have a go at fixing it" - all with the giver looking on and smiling, I really don't see what bigger clue they could really need. She's not a toddler who should need things spelling out to her.

She doesn't do it out of meanness, but reading the responses on here has made me realise that she must just be one of these people who couldn't care less about keeping things nice - and thus wouldn't understand that other people do.

I'm not tearing my hair out in anguish at it at all; just get a bit disappointed that something is needlessly damaged because of carelessness and then needs patching up to try to make it look a bit more like the new item it was. That's all; nobody dies.

Also, reading the responses on this thread, I think it's helped to answer my question: wondering whether it's just my relative or if this is a common thing.

It would seem that it IS fairly common after all; and it seems to me like there's one group (including me) who would never dream of doing it, believing it to be crazy; and then there's another group who do routinely do this, believing it to be the most practical way to wrap a present - and neither group is going to convince the other group that their way is the more sensible way, nor change anybody's wrapping behaviour!

She uses loads, but even a small bit of tape can cause damage. A lot of it depends on whether it's a thick, shiny, plasticky surface or plain/dull/thin paper.

With the former, you can often carefully peel the tape off without it spoiling the book/box; but with the latter, it does almost invariably rip it.

OP this is such a weird thing to do, I’m afraid I do think there must be a reason

Possibly she wants to ensure no regifting

Or returning

Or reselling

Or she thinks it’s a test to see what people will put up with

When I was young, it took me ages to realise that some people do this kind of thing as a power play or as a “how much do you love me” test.

I’m utterly flummoxed by this

do you have any examples please?

I hate being that old git who thinks people are getting more stupid…but..

Because it's not damaging the item, just the packaging. A book cover I suppose is the item but still doesn't affect anything.

You're right though, those of us who aren't in the least bothered by minor damage to the outside of something aren't going to suddenly be convinced we should care.

I wouldn't deliberately damage something before giving it bit I still wouldn't care or consider it an issue if there was minor damage to the outside of something.

If my children were upset about damage to the outside of a box of lego I'd think they were being very odd and just direct them to the actual toy.

Because it's not damaging the item, just the packaging. A book cover I suppose is the item but still doesn't affect anything.

We must view these things differently, because I would certainly see the box of, say, a game of Cluedo as part of the item. I doubt they could sell it for anything approaching the same price in the shop if they just put the board, cards, weapons and plastic people in a bag; it's all part of the item as a whole, imho.

Not that it would be damaged by sellotape, but how would you explain things like perfume bottles? They never, ever bother tell you in the adverts what it actually smells like; the main part of the product that attracts people to spend a lot of money on it is the shape and style of the bottle, along with some celeb's name written on the side. I can't see anybody wanting to buy the perfume itself - ostensibly the actual product - if they sold the exact same stuff in a washed-out Ribena bottle!

Would you also extend the 'it's just the packaging, it doesn't matter' rule to people? If somebody wore scruffy/dirty/torn clothes to a special do - would you bat it away in the same manner, as long as they were kind and charming with their personality and behaviour?!

I've only come across this once, and it was a book I bought off a seller on eBay - they had sellotaped the packaging to the book and it totally ripped the front cover! I was so cross about it and I instantly hated the book and never read it.

<cries in book tokens>

I just remembered where I was shown this, it's when I had a Saturday job in a dept store on a perfume counter. They used to offer free gift wrapping & valentines & Christmas the queues were big. This was the 90s.

It's not about holding the paper down, it's about making it snug & to stop sliding so it looks neat & symmetrical in a fast fashion.

I have no opinion on perfume bottles, I've never bought any. If people are swayed by the shape of the bottle rather than the smell that's up to them.

On clothes I don't think that's a reasonable comparison. The clothes are the item, not the packaging. Although I probably do have less judgement about the relative scruffiness of clothes than others. I wouldn't go out in the morning in a stained top but I wouldn't be rushing to change in the middle of the day if it got stained. Nor would I change for going out usually.

When I was young, it took me ages to realise that some people do this kind of thing as a power play or as a “how much do you love me” test.

Yeah that's definitely what she is doing! 😆 Jfc, some people must find life really difficult.