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A thread for those of us who tried who have a career change but didn’t manage to

218 replies

123stay · 03/01/2024 22:54

I’ve considered writing this post for a while, and was finally inspired to do so by the thread about not being happy with where you’ve ended up in life.

Please bear in mind this is mainly a mental health and personal support thread, NOT a job hunting advice thread. Please don’t give unsolicited advice or tell me to update my CV or go on LinkedIn etc. I’m not interested any more.

The point of this thread is that when we’re hear about people having career changes, or studying or retraining to get a new job etc, we only hear about the successful ones. But I’m convinced there’s lots of other people out there who tried but failed.

After years of employers asking why I didn’t have a degree, I went and studied later in life. I did very well at uni, but was unable to get a graduate job because most employers just aren’t set up to deal with mature graduates, unless you want to be a teacher. I applied for so many things, went to networking events etc, the ones with application forms were too rigid for my non-traditional situation, a lot of employers want people with masters degrees now, and so many other barriers.

We’re constantly told that we can change our lives through education. There is a huge amount of privilege involved in telling someone that if you don’t like your job, go and get another one instead. It’s not that easy.

I still do the same type of work as before, because it’s all I could get. I just wanted to know that I’m not alone.

OP posts:
givenup123 · 21/09/2024 14:28

Congratulations @Doyouthinktheyknow

I’m in less money than before but it’s so so worth it and I’ve got used to it quite quickly

123stay · 21/09/2024 15:18

And I handed in my notice before I had even applied for the other job. I realised how damaging my job was to my mental health and decided enough was enough.

Good for you for taking charge of your health. We’re always told we shouldn’t quit a job without having another one to go to, but I don’t agree with that all the time. I know it isn’t financially possible for everyone, but if your job is destroying your health that badly then sometimes the “right” answer is actually to quit straight away.

OP posts:
Doyouthinktheyknow · 21/09/2024 16:09

Thanks @givenup123 and @123stay it was definitely right for me to just jump and being a nurse, I knew I could always fall back on working bank shifts if nothing came up.

I know I’m fortunate to have that option and we are also mortgage free so we could have afforded a few months of no work for me.

I hope everyone else on this thread looking for a better work life balance finds it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

confusedofengland · 23/09/2024 11:04

This thread just popped up again & reminded me I posted on it before. It's really speaking to me today.

Currently going through a rough patch with DS2'S SEN, which means he needs me more than ever - and it is generally me to step up, not DH. At least an hour a day, at various, unpredictable times.

Ds1 is in Year 11 & looking at 6th form options. Except he doesn't want to do 6th form, despite being passionate about it 3 months ago & doing 11 GCSES, none predicted lower than a 5 (most an 8 or 9). I'm terrified he'll waste his life like I have & look back sad & unfulfilled, like me. Trying to convince himself & everyone else that he's happy with minimum wage nothingness & household drudgery. Maybe he won't have a disabled DC or be default parent, maybe he's braver than me I hope so, for him 😥

It's causing big rows between me & DH & I know DS won't listen to me anyway. Just adds to this feeling of being worthless.

BlastedPimples · 23/09/2024 11:06

@confusedofengland your post is upsetting.

Is there nothing you can do to get some fulfilment?

Could you give more info on your circs?

confusedofengland · 23/09/2024 11:39

Sorry, didn't mean to bring everyone down with me 🙈

Life is pretty tough atm. Disabled child having more difficulties (epilepsy/seizures), so lots of time & energy on appointments & admin for him. DH made redundant in January & only found PT min wage job, so he's depressed & we're broke. We're arguing a lot & don't have much in common other than the kids right now. And 2 other teen/preteen DSes to run around after & a house to run. Best friend now working exact opposite days to me, so I don't see her or anybody really.

I do try to do things for myself. Joined a gym, which is nice but lonely & not shifting menopause weight! Learning 4 languages on Duolingo, to try to keep some of what I was so good at, but it's not really enough. I love my job, but it's not what I trained in & it's poorly paid.

It's all ok & I keep going & always will. I just feel like all the years I spent learning & dreaming were wasted, which is embarrassing. I don't see a career ever happening now as I don't know if DS2 will ever be independent. Just wish I'd known all this at 16!

Anyway, onwards & upwards. Stopping for a coffee now between medical errands for DS2 & gym.

BlastedPimples · 23/09/2024 11:55

Wow. You're amazing.

All that in your plate. And you go to the gym and Duolingo. Bloody hell.

There is nothing embarrassing about dreams and ambition. Nothing. So stop that.

BlastedPimples · 23/09/2024 11:56

So your job is poorly paid. You could not find a similar job that is better paid? Or negotiate better pay?

Doyouthinktheyknow · 23/09/2024 12:10

@confusedofengland I’m sorry things are tough for you right now.

It sounds like you are doing a lot for yourself which is good and no mean feat considering you are supporting 2 teenagers!

The teenage years are really tough. Standing back and watching them make choices that you don’t necessarily think are the best and mine didn’t have any additional needs that must make everything so much harder.

Know that you have more motivation than most of us and be proud of all you are doing💐

BirdFeederFun · 23/09/2024 13:19

I am exhausted.

Working out how to retrain or move into another job whole exhausted is shattering. I really want to wfh at least part of the week.

confusedofengland · 23/09/2024 17:05

BirdFeederFun · 23/09/2024 13:19

I am exhausted.

Working out how to retrain or move into another job whole exhausted is shattering. I really want to wfh at least part of the week.

Keep going, you are doing so well just by trying.

confusedofengland · 23/09/2024 17:12

@Doyouthinktheyknow & @BlastedPimples thank you for your kind words. Maybe I am doing ok & just have to be ok with how things are for now. Maybe my time will come! I don't see gym & Duolingo as achievements, rather as me time & actually a bit selfish!

I can't really switch jobs as this employer is very flexible & understanding & that is very important. Plus I guess I'm scared to look, I have lost all my confidence! They won't negotiate on pay as it's local authority (although that does mean a great pension).

BlastedPimples · 23/09/2024 17:53

Well @confusedofengland if doing all that is just part of you time, then you're clearly capable of an awful lot.

Most people just don't bother with excessive or any self improvement.

Are you quite advanced in your languages? Would you take an official test to certify your level? That could stand you I. Good stead too.

BrightGreenLeaves · 22/10/2024 14:51

I see lots of people say they ‘studied part time’ alongside their work and now earn double. I don’t get it. I would have no idea what to do or what to study. I did change career but am on a shit salary (£27k) so it’s not a panacea. I only work part time so don’t get the full £27k.

Currently trying to decide whether to change jobs again to increase earning. I wish I had a career coach who could just tell me what to do. I find it so embarrassing to be my age and still wondering what the hell to do and how to earn more money.

123stay · 13/02/2026 11:26

I was just thinking about this thread that I started a couple of years ago. I still feel the same about it all. How’s everyone else feeling?

OP posts:
Changed18 · 19/02/2026 17:27

I'm doing my career change now. I'm halfway through a PGCE, and hoping to be employable at the end of it! It's going fairly well, and I am managing to keep up some freelancing alongside it so my finances aren't as bad as they might be. Part of my freelance work that will carry on for at least a year from now, possibly two, and give me a little cushion against the starting salary (if I get a job!) being lower than I previously earned.

I did it partly because I was bored in my previous work, and partly because I wanted something more predictable. I'm definitely not bored now, though I'm not yet sure how predictable teaching will be for me. Should find out in the next few months though. Even if it doesn't end in a job, it will mean I have an extra string to my bow and I can always do supply or something else education-related.

123stay · 26/03/2026 11:20

Still thinking about this thread. It’s depressing but it’s real life.

OP posts:
OrdinaryMagicOfAcorns · 26/03/2026 18:18

JennieTheZebra · 07/01/2024 20:03

@Bluecat7 @Changed18 @Turkeyhen Nursing is good for carer changers. Many many nurses start training in their 30s and 40s and there is always work. On my course (mental health nursing) everyone had a job by the spring before graduation; the course has a 100% employment rate. Of course that’s nursing which has its own problems but the work is there and there’s room for advancement-I was on 35k within 18 months of graduating and that’s not all that unusual.

Nursing was good for career changers. It had a 100 % employment rate. You e clearly missed all the news about current NHS cuts.

Its bad times unfortunately. Britain’s “‘managed” decline which was never managed but enforced enshittification is really hitting home now, with few political prospects of the change we’ve all been asking for, for 30 years now.

Edit - didnt check the dates sorry! But life is not getting any easier.

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