Is saving a table while someone else gets coffee/cake etc an ok thing to do?

[Eeepsh]

Inspired by the M&S cafe thread, I hadn't realised that one person sitting at the table whilst other gets drinks, wasn't the done thing.

We do this as my 86 year old dad needs to sit down, but I always assumed everyone else did it anyway?

It's completely normal

Anyone who thinks otherwise clearly doesn't get out much

Or - here’s a novel thought for you - just has a different opinion

Ah I see, so when you have done this in cafes , how have people reacted to you just moving their things

This thread gets asked every now and then on MN well, fairly regularly .

It's a bit like the shoes on / shoes off or the popping in or making an appointment or many other debates like this.

You'll never convince the other side that your side of the argument is right.

Well clearly marks and Spencer's doesn't agree with you and your outrage. They stop people from sitting down before they have their food, clearly because it's a problem that so many of their customers are selfish enough to hog a table whilst people search around for seats whilst holding trays full of food.

I wouldn't do this in a very busy cafe (tbh we'd just go somewhere else), but my 6yo will "reserve" a table while I'm queuing so they don't have to wait in the queue with me. I let them so long as I can see them.

I can't imagine hogging a big table though - I'd always offer the free seats if there wasn't anywhere else available. And yes it's annoying if you want a private catch-up with friends but it's just one of those things that comes from having to share public spaces in a considerate way with others. It's like being on the bus... You hope that no one will sit next to you and have a reasonable expectation that they won't if there are lots of seats. But if space is at a premium, you have to share it fairly.

Coat on chair, book on table, half eaten apple to the side*

*scientifically proven to repel invaders

Well clearly M&S employees aren't paid enough to give a shit because the one I go to doesn't.

It's not selfish. It's common sense.

It’s a nightmare if you’re on your own with two littlies, no other adult to bag a table, you get your tray and there are no tables, kids are running wild :(

Actually the cafe is to blame for not doing table service. The place I used to have this problem now does table service and wait to be seated, so much better for everyone.

I think it depends on the cafe.
Somewhere where the table has a fixed number then you find a table first.

If you are given a number with your order and they bring the order to you then it depends on how busy it is really.

If it’s busy and you queue up and carry everything on a tray yourself then it’s less acceptable.

I’ve been in the situation where I’ve had a tray and nowhere to sit because everyone in the queue behind me has bagged tables.

Any option works fine, so long as everyone is doing the same.

The point is you don’t know. You see an empty table with a coat on it and you fume. You hardly expect me to believe that you keep tabs on everyone in a queue, front and back, to know the order?

Of course it's fine. I'm not going to bother queening if I'll have nowhere to sit at the end. If you are on your own you just have to take a chance unfortunately.

HeddaGarbled · Yesterday 18:42

People often do it as a way of jumping the queue for seats. Fine if there are plenty of seats available; fine with the elderly relative; selfish if people are milling around with their purchased drinks unsuccessfully trying to find a seat.

Yes, I agree entirely. If someone comes in and is number ten in the queue and sends their family to get the last table, preventing the people at the front from being able to sit down, it's shit.

Elderly and disabled people taking a seat, as you say, fine.

@Wibblywobblylikejelly what on earth is common sense about some middle aged idiot sitting smugly in a seat whilst their wife queues to buy their cup of tea and scone whilst someone else with a tray full of food can't sit down because Outraged and Entitled of Winchester thinks it is perfectly acceptable to sit at a table on their own simply because I GOT HERE FIRST SO THERE?

We are a family of 5 and toddler dd2 will usually be in her pram. I go and sit down with them or dh will whilst the other orders. It keeps the kids out of the way.

I think it's fine to do this. I'm going out for a coffee alone today as I've booked the week off work, I wouldn't care if someone else behind me went and saved a seat. It's just how it is.

Yes it's fine.

If you don't like it, you go somewhere with table service, somewhere that is virtually empty, or somewhere where you can get a takeaway and go and sit on a bench or something.

The idea that you should order food in a busy cafe and then wander around looking for a free table is silly.

The idea that you should order food in a busy cafe and then wander around looking for a free table is silly.

But that's unavoidable, if someone comes in well after you and bags the last free table.

The idea that you should order food in a busy cafe and then wander around looking for a free table is silly.
If I'm in the queue and there's tables available, it isn't a problem at the point I join the queue because there's tables available.
It becomes a problem when people who arrive behind send friends and family to grab tables, meaning those at the front of the queue can't use the available tables.

Instead of having a natural turnover of people on tables, you have some people sitting at tables for 10 minutes whilst people queue and order meaning people who've paid are using a smaller proportion of tables.

Your last sentence is so important isn't it - in many cases the convenience of one group relies on inconveniencing another, more rule-abiding group!

I've just collected my coffee in a cafe and the man behind me in the queue has walked over and put his stuff down on the last table. I was going to offer him a seat too!

Perfectly acceptable according to half the people on this thread 🙄. Hope you enjoy your coffee stood up by the loos!

That’s why you reserve tables before ordering!

I've waited and someone left - so have enjoyed my coffee in a seat and in keeping with my conscience!

We grab table when it's a large group - as everyone queuing doesn't help line - and frankly it's harder to grab seats for larger groups.

When it was me and DC - would do mix of sit them down as they were well behaved - in my eye line or judge table availability and have them in queue with me.

Two people - it's a mix dependent on place and when it' just me it's a judge the spaces and queue moment. In RL - both as waitress and customer never been a huge problem - one lone person on huge table has been though.