Is saving a table while someone else gets coffee/cake etc an ok thing to do?

[Eeepsh]

Inspired by the M&S cafe thread, I hadn't realised that one person sitting at the table whilst other gets drinks, wasn't the done thing.

We do this as my 86 year old dad needs to sit down, but I always assumed everyone else did it anyway?

I think it’s ok. Some cafes/eating places actually have notices asking you to do that. A few say not to. So there isn’t a fixed etiquette. Over the years, my most frequent coffees out have been with my parents. My late Mum was blind, so she was always seated before we got coffee. Latterly on shopping trips with my late father, I always queued while he got a table. He was over 90.

It depends.
Your local cafe where the custom is to find a table, look at the menu, then order - fine

A big chain place where there's plenty of space and not a huge queue - fine

A big chain coffee place in a shopping centre with a long queue, shortage of tables and someone sends their friend/relative to find a table when there's 8-10 people in front of them in the queue - cheeky and annoying, and leaves people who've actually paid walking around trying to find somewhere to sit. It's annoying walking around with a tray awkwardly hoping someone finishes and leaves when half the cafe tables are taken up by people saving seats for people further back in the queue

I leave a coat and a paper or a book. Also live in London. Keep an eye on it so some chancer doesn't move it.

Hadn't really thought about it but when out with elders we would find a table for them to sit down. Otherwise queue and see where is available?

Yeah always do this. No need to have whole families queuing for food! I get the dc seated and then go and queue, if I'm just with dh I'll go sit down while he orders. If I was on my own, I probably wouldn't bother to reserve a seat. If I wanted somewhere with a guaranteed seat, I wouldn't pick a super busy place if I was on my own anyway.

The alternative to is that is a queue clogged with both people ordering and the people they're eating with; and the people at the tables will also have actually paid for their food and drink.

I get more annoyed by places that don't clear the tables when people leave.

I often go for coffee / lunch by myself. If there are no free tables, I plonk myself on a table where there’s one person baggsying whilst their friend is queueing. If they don't like it, they're more than welcome to move!

If I am on my own and there is an empty table, I put a carrier bag on the chair, as I always have a spare carrier bag on me and I 'poof' it up so it looks as though there is shopping in it.

I absolutely hated watching this happen as a lone parent when my dc's were little.

They couldn't baggsie a table while I queued so we'd be waiting ages for one to become free while people served after me would be eating with someone who saved their table.

I also just go and sit down with a table hogger in M&S if it's full, they can always move. I'm often by myself as DH doesn't often go shopping and I have drinks vouchers to use

People saying this is an MN thing clearly can't be bothered to look beyond the end of their nose or do their research.

M&S have started making sure you don't sit down in their cafes until you have been served. This is to prevent people saving a table whilst those who have queues for their food and drinks come to the end of the line and find there are no tables because they are either occupied by people eating/drinking or miserable entitled buggers people who have saved a seat whilst someone else queues on their behalf. It isn't "an MN thing".

It's not something I had ever seen as a problem before but now that I think about it it makes perfect sense to ensure those who have paid for their meal or drink are able to sit down in priority to people who don't have theirs yet.

If I'm with my elderly mother who can't really walk, stand and definitely cannot carry her own food, I'd get her seated for sure.
With friends it's usually 2 of us and we both queue and order separate.
However I am very much of the mindset that if there is a spare seat at my table (if we are 2 on a 4 for example) and I see someone with their food looking, I'd wave them over and offer them to sit. And if I didn't notice them first and they came and asked I am always polite and say of course please sit.

of course it is !

I think that’s out of order. You’re basically pushing in front of the people already queuing.

Situation dependant IMO.

Big group, especially with multiple children and buggies etc - don't clog up the queue, get the table and one person pay.

Obviously anyone with a disability should do whatever works best for them.

But small groups of healthy adults? Pay and then sit. As explained above, it's basic maths that the tables come free quicker if you do it this way.

No, if’s effectively queue jumping. I’ve lot count of the number of times I’ve seen people coming out of a queue with a laden tray wandering about looking for a table while the tables are occupied by people whose family or friend is at the start of the queue and will be a while before they get served (or have been that person). Makes no sense.

my local m&s has a sign saying find a table first!

It's how I've always done it. I don't like the idea of getting food and then not having a table. I had no idea it upset people.

This is what my husband and I do when we go out for coffee etc. always get settled at table as me normally have the dogs then one of us goes up to order. That said the places (local cafes) we go this is kinda the norm, find a table then order.

Since when is it not the done thing for one to get a table and the other to order???

This is why, when I'm on my own, I love places where you can order from the table by scanning the code 😊 saves all the angst of wondering whether there'll be anywhere to sit once you've queued

@Sirzy

as a person on your own you can also ask to use a random seat if needed which is harder with a bigger party.

Or in translation: why do these cuntish singles think they deserve a table, can't they just get takeout and hide at home?

Fuck that.

We have an extremely popular cafe near us that doesn’t allow sitting until you have your food. There are signs everywhere and the table cleaners are deputized to kick people out for breaking the rules. It’s all a bit Seinfeld and the soup nazi but the food is delicious. The typical peak wait to even order is an hour of standing in line. They will thankfully sell you a beer at the beginning of the queue, but you can’t sit down.

the system works. They have an equilibrium established that tables clear as food comes out. People who have finished their food definitely get pushed along if there are people standing looking for seats.

If I saw a table with nothing but a coat on it then the coat would be moved pronto while I sat down with my food.

Ypu don’t keep a seat on public transport by putting your bag or coat on it. Same goes for cafes. I would also plonk myself down at a table that was being reserved by someone for another person on the queue. I’m ready to eat/drink, you’re not, so I get first dibs on the seat.

Absolutely fine, anyone who thinks otherwise is mental x