Is saving a table while someone else gets coffee/cake etc an ok thing to do?

[Eeepsh]

Inspired by the M&S cafe thread, I hadn't realised that one person sitting at the table whilst other gets drinks, wasn't the done thing.

We do this as my 86 year old dad needs to sit down, but I always assumed everyone else did it anyway?

I'm really shocked at the consensus on this thread - it's very bad manners to do this unless there are an excess of free tables or you are with someone who really needs to sit down quickly. I would not have been brought up to do this! I wonder if there is any cultural/class divide on this.

They are not other people's tables though are they, they are empty seats at a table with a person waiting in one of the other seats

How is it bad manners? Why would I want to purchase a drink/food if I wasn’t guaranteed a table at the end of it?

What if you're in a car park and a few cars are driving around trying to find a space and then you spot one but it's a two rows away so you get your partner to hop out of the car and stand in the available pace to keep it for you. Is that OK? (Genuine question)

It's self service though, if you go somewhere with table service you will have your table in advance. It's very rare to get no table at the end of queueing (if people don't bagsie them all) and I would ask staff for help if so.

That's as maybe but if I was sitting at a table waiting for my friend in the queue and someone came and insisted on sitting at our table in a bombastic way , I doubt they'd get a positive outcome from either me or the cafe staff because despite what's said on here , this is how it's done . For the record, I am a very active table sharer and I often offer, especially if I'm by myself. My point is all the people on here who seem to show off about how rude and bullying they are to other people

I know! And they think "hogging" a table is bad manners.
Plonking yourself at a table where someone else is sitting (maybe an elderly person who could not be in the queue) is just fucking rude.
I have had someone do this to me. I was waiting for the person in the queue to join me with drinks and discuss something very sensitive. The person who sat with us went "it is ok, I wont talk". Fucking mad. Luckily, my friend is more assertive than me over stuff like this.
But like I said in a PP, no one has moved my stuff before. I could be in the loo, or outside taking a phone call.

Exactly this! I had a rare day off just before Christmas and treated myself to a delicious breakfast in a local independent cafe. When I walked in (you go up to order but have to have your table number so…table first!) the only table left at the time was one for 4. I asked if it was ok if I was there. Guy said of course so I did.

My meal arrived and I was about halfway through when a couple walked in and grabbed a table for 2 that had freed up, but mentioned to the staff that they were waiting for 2 more and needed a bigger table and kept glaring at me. Tough shit, I wasn’t going to swap tables in the middle of my meal, they could wait until I was done.

No one glared at the woman who was reading a book with a long finished cup of coffee though.

Luckily, no one is as batshit as they insist they are on mn in the real world. Can you imagine?
It always makes me laugh when on a really innocuous thread "at work we were talking about..." and posters cone on with " why were you not getting on with your work?" And before you know it, you've been accused of all sorts and there's an insistence that in their workplace no one talk zbout anything other than professional things. CRAZY

That’s fine, I’d let the child that I have potentially taken to the toilet (because they have the worst timing) squawk in your direction and spill their juice

Presumably your food and drink would be on the table if you’d just nipped to the loo - and yes they do, you don’t stand at the counter (or anywhere else in the cafe) to eat and drink, you sit down to do that.

I can't bear this,I'm often a solo diner , and like you, often are on big tables or whatever. It's the luck of the draw.

The juice you haven’t bought yet because it wasn’t on the table? Don’t worry about the squawking, I’ve had kids, it’s water off a duck back.

Not always. I tend to stay for while and have more than one drink.

That there was no ‘rightly’ going in there. So yes I’d have told you this was my table and please could you find another one?

You should have left your coat/bag/whatever if you really wanted that table. And you certainly have no right to touch/move other people’s belongings.
As shown in this thread, it’s a pretty normal tacit agreement to reserve your table whilst is queuing if you are on your own 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Im pretty sure though you’d have looked at me as if I was crazy and refused to move. Entitled attitude in my book but hey ho….

Yes, that’s a really good point. I’d assume no one thinks you should give up a table and find a new one if you want a second cup of coffee or whatever.

Haha, yes, picking up your coat and belongings just to join the queue and get another drink.. that makes no sense to me.

Yes, I’d have said no - and would think you were entitled for blocking tables, but hey ho. Looks like we’d both share the same sentiment about each other.

Good point, I'm often working on a laptop. Easy to leave and get a coffee as I normally sit where I can see it from the queue,harder to go to the loo, as I have to take it with me but leave my book, pen etc. Same when I get a 2nd drink, I leave stuff on the table

You really can't go around touching and removing people's belongings though

No, the juice that was to arrive with the food after. You know, like at Costa where you pay but they’re busy making coffees and toasting paninis?

so I’ve paid, fetched a table with toddler as it’s busier than normal and Squirmy is antsy waiting. Then as they call out the order, Squawky announces they need a wee!

Meanwhile Bossy&Entitled, who was actually behind me in the queue, spots an ‘empty’ table and implodes at the made-up rules about table
etiquette and decides to show me who’s boss

fine if you need someone to sit otherwise not ok for people on their own or with young kids, just not fair!!

Where did I say remove? I would move things over do that I could sit down on one of the free seats at the table because I’m certainly not wandering about with my drink and food looking for somewhere to sit down while someone is standing way behind me in the queue.

MN is not real sometimes I swear.
Of course it's OK to split up and ol1 goes to order while the rest sit.
I have finally gotten to a point where I can deposit my 3 kids at a table and go and queue alone. The idea an entire group would order and then go sit is laughable.

If I was behind you in the queue then that isn’t what the OP is about, is it? You got your good and drinks first, tgen you got the table - you’re not blocking an empty table then joining the end of the queue while people who were ahead of you in the queue can’t sit down with their food and drinks.