Namechanger - teen had a party at home tonight and I found...

[Peeplepleezer122]

A canabis tin when clearing up.
How would you handle this?
Teen is 19.
I'm confident a pal brought it it in.
This goes waaaaay beyond my personal home boundary.

"I'm confident a pal brought it it in."

.Why?ì

If that's your boundary don't let the teen have another party.
It's not a hill I'd die on but I'd not like it either.
If you're certain that it's not his and it belongs to one of his pals
I'd just say I'm not impressed so no more parties, your house, your rules.

I would say to teen "tell your friends not to being their drugs into my house" and leave it at that. You let a 19 year old have a party in your house. A left behind tin of weed is getting off lightly.

Why are you blaming it on a mate? If it belonged to someone else they would have taken it home with them. It will be your DS’s tin.

Many many years ago, (mid 70s) my mum found a used condom in my younger brother's bed (he'd be 18/19).

She was horrified that he had let someone use HIS bed with a girl. ... Yes Mum, that's the obvious explanation

‘Teen’ is an adult. Tell them no more parties if you are bothered. Every chance your adult child smokes weed too though.

I bummed a roll up from my boss today and it was so shabby a make I jokingly said, hope thats got some black in it, to which she said no but she had some at home lol

Well I did laugh but was quite shocked, we arent spring chickens and I left this days behind a long time ago

If your teen is old enough that you allow them to host parties in your home, I guess they are old enough to decide what they are smoking

Personally , myself, as Ive been there and got the t-shirt, I wouldn't be fazed about what was being smoked, Id be giving off more if anyone smoked ANYTHING in my home

Id just give it to him/her saying I found this, I hope it wasnt smoked inside? and leave it at that. Your child should know your boundaries and will die of embarrassment at you finding it and wont let it happen again

This is what happens at teenagers parties. And it’s not the worst thing. I wouldn’t personally be bothered about it, I would tell my son I had found it but we have the type of relationship where he would tell me that kind of thing anyway, whose it was and whether it was his or not. However, I have never actually allowed a party in my house, I can’t bear the thought of it!

Talk to teen

i wouldn’t start by saying you found the tin. In fact id leave that out entirely

id just start by saying there willl be no more house parties because you are upset that drugs were present. Don’t specify the drug, or who you suspect took it. Ask teen to tell you everything.

then ask teen whether they understand that the drug trade is exploitative and how people are threatened and forced into all stages of the trade from manufacture to transport to dealing. Many are effectively enslaved. sometimes murdered.

I wouldn’t go into the health risks of drugs or their legality - teens are usually people who hate exploitation and mistreatment of human beings - so I’d say how shocked you are that anyone you know would perpetuate that.

Teen is not teen but an adult. Did they have your permission to host the party? Why are you cleaning up after party?