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Original poster

Cancel this trip or go?

15 replies

GreyOrange · 28/12/2023 07:10

Family holiday coming up

3 couples, one adult from one of the couples is perhaps not very well but manipulative, passive aggressive and just generally not great to be around. They are subtle about it so it can go unchallenged

Holiday is booked. I don’t massively want to go as I don’t like this person. It’s a relative of mine therefore I don’t think it fair to decide for DH that we are going. He claims he would just ignore it but if I were him and it was my in-law behaving in this way, I wouldn’t want to go.

Do we, suggest cancelling the whole thing, go for part of it and leave if it’s uncomfortable or do we back out?

OP posts:

RampantIvy · 28/12/2023 07:14

Why did you agree to go in the first place?

Original poster

GreyOrange · 28/12/2023 07:17

RampantIvy · 28/12/2023 07:14

Why did you agree to go in the first place?

To keep my parents happy mainly.

OP posts:

whatchagonnado · 28/12/2023 07:21

Life's too short to be with people you don't like. Holidays are supposed to be relaxation time and fun.
I'm baffled why you agreed to go. It's a bit awkward to back out now. Only you know the dynamic of your family and whether there will be problems backing out now. Will it leave the others out of pocket?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems

miniatureroses · 28/12/2023 07:22

GreyOrange · 28/12/2023 07:17

To keep my parents happy mainly.

Show quote history

And they won't be disappointed if you back out? If they've paid for it, I hope you pay them back if you don't go.

Original poster

GreyOrange · 28/12/2023 07:28

miniatureroses · 28/12/2023 07:22

And they won't be disappointed if you back out? If they've paid for it, I hope you pay them back if you don't go.

Show quote history

They also don’t want to go, but yes they’ve paid for it so they don’t know what to do

OP posts:

RampantIvy · 28/12/2023 07:31

So it is your BIL or SIL who is difficult?
Are you all in a hotel or a self catered apartment/cottage?

Original poster

GreyOrange · 28/12/2023 07:36

RampantIvy · 28/12/2023 07:31

So it is your BIL or SIL who is difficult?
Are you all in a hotel or a self catered apartment/cottage?

My actual sibling. Self catered.

OP posts:

miniatureroses · 28/12/2023 07:38

GreyOrange · 28/12/2023 07:28

They also don’t want to go, but yes they’ve paid for it so they don’t know what to do

Show quote history

I think I'd suck up this trip and think harder about future trips before I agree to them.

Please don't let anyone be out of pocket because you changed your mind.

maslinpan · 28/12/2023 07:43

I'm guessing that nobody in your family has ever stood up to your sibling. Are they scared to do so? Could you discuss this with your parents, and perhaps agree that on this holiday, you will all start to stop letting the nasty comments go unchallenged? It seems perverse to go on holiday when at least 3 of you don't want to!

baubl · 28/12/2023 07:59

I think I'd just go but plan on being out and about a lot of the time to cope with it. It's not fair on your parents to lumber them with the troublesome sibling alone. And not plan any further trips.

Original poster

GreyOrange · 28/12/2023 08:45

maslinpan · 28/12/2023 07:43

Not until recently, sometimes a couple of us do but it always results in no solution and massive reaction / row back from her.

OP posts:

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 28/12/2023 08:47

So 4 grown ups sacrifice holiday time and money to pacify a twat who probably won't care if you are there or not? Crazy.

Tonight1 · 28/12/2023 08:49

Oh dear, it's a shame it's not just you + DH and your parents if you all find it difficult being around her.

getfreddynow · 28/12/2023 08:55

Get sibling over in advance. With your parents and no-one else there. Tell them calmly you find their communication style unpleasant . Ask them to tone it down on holiday, and if they will not , not to be surprised when you push back in front of the others.

maybe it will all blow up there and then and either clear the air or the holiday falls apart before you go so good outcome for you either way ?

do they know it’s such an issue for you and parents ?

LlynTegid · 28/12/2023 09:26

When you said self catering, that tipped the balance to not going.

Cancel.

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