I’m being an arsehole and I don’t know how to stop

[Snowpake]

I am full of rage (pmt). dh developed a fever at bedtime. He has just woken me up with his shivering and grunting. He won’t take any paracetamol as he wants the fever to run its course. So I’m sleeping on the sofa, after 3 nights of horrendous insomnia. Tomorrow I will have to take 6 preteens to laser quest on my own, no doubt on just a few hours sleep. Then we are hosting his family (again!!) on the weekend.

im bloody knackered. If it was me I would take some fucking medication and get on with it but I know I’m going to be waiting on dh hand and foot.

Also i know the cold came from fil, who snotted over everything on xmas day. I shouldn’t be so angry but I am. Just shouted at dh and now he’s in a huff because I’m so mean and I know I’m being a shit but I can’t help it

Ans he is really ill and I feel sorry for him

AAAAAAAARGH.

And totally cancel the family visit.

Cancel the in laws coming unless DH is going to do all the hard work

Thats a bit snarky. Just because other countries have it otc doesn't make it safe. You only have to look at the USA and their acceptance of cancer causing additives in childrens sweets that the UK have banned (that they are now trying to sell via London pop up shops)...or their bleached meat. It's nothing about me being nervous, more that I understand how big pharma pretend everything is fine with their drugs (oxycontin scandal being the latest) when actually, it isn't fine at all.

In case any one else is wondering:
Over-the-counter melatonin is classified as a dietary supplement. This means it's not regulated by the FDA the way over-the-counter medicines like ibuprofen, acetaminophen, or diphenhydramine are regulated. There is no oversight on what companies put in the melatonin that parents buy.
And what they put in it is exactly the issue. The AASM reports that some melatonin products also contain serotonin, a hormone and neurotransmitter that requires a prescription.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/new-advice-on-melatonin-use-in-children-202210062832

Back on topic - @Snowpake - well done for ordering the TV and cancelling the inlaws, I hope you start to feel better soon!

@RowanMayfair melatonin can be great. It won’t automatically help with insomnia though.
I mean I’m taking it. I still have insomnia because melatonin reduces the length of time it takes you to fall asleep but doesn’t do anything if, like me, you wake up in the middle if the night and can’t go back to sleep.

Plus, seeing that it’s only available on prescription in the U.K., I think it’s pretty normal to NOT go and buy it on your own back.
Unless you’ve done the research to check when it’s actually good to take it, dosage (actually very low for sleep issue, much lower than most tablets - think 0.5mg) and whether your sleep issue would respond well to it. I wouldn’t expect most people to be comfortable doing that.

Update - dc had a lovely birthday, dh is recovering, we have cancelled weekend plans and will spend the time watching movies and eating popcorn.

re insomnia - believe me, I’ve tried every over the counter remedy, all the supplements, sleep hygiene, etc. if there was a pill to cure this, I would take it!

Magnesium. Preferably chelated magnesium tablets (Holland and Barrett). They call it nature’s sedative. It helps me.

Cancel in laws

My DH does this and it does my head in he moans and moans when sick and I ask if he’s taken paracetamol and he never has, takes it and within a couple of hours is getting on with it.

1. cancel the in-laws
2. dont wait on DH hand and foot; he may be ill but he’s an adult and if he refuses to take paracetamol then it’s his look-out!
3. Get a new TV delivered; by point dragging kids round curry’s!!
4. good luck!

Slightly off topic but I’ve been an insomniac for years and a really light sleeper anyway. I recently discovered the Re:sleep programme via Steven Bartlett’s podcast and it has changed my life! Highly recommend it although it’s not an easy fix. https://re-sleep.com/

Or flu! Not everything is covid! 🙄

As other posters have said, cancel this weekend.
Your DH isn't well and you're burnt out. Try and take care of yourself

Yes. Fever is the body’s way of trying to destroy the bug.

It doesn’t always work to leave it though!

Ask a parent of one of the laser quest kids if they can help you out. Although laser quest is quite a parent free activity and you can just be sitting drinking coffee whilst the kids are having a blast.

Glad the party went well OP!

insomnia is just bloody awful isn’t it. I ended up at my doctors and they prescribed Mirtazapine to me which is an antidepressant but in low doses can make you drowsy - honestly saved me! I also take magnesium and have a magnesium spray which I spray on the bottom of my feet at night as it absorbs it quicker that way. Maybe all things you have tried but just wanted to say what had helped me. X

OMG I do sympathise. I remember PMT and how horrified I was that I could have killed anyone who annoyed me! At least cancel entertaining his family as others have suggested. Good luck 🌺

Definitely cancel hosting, he's not well! Why pass it on... perfect excuse.

Some studies suggest fevers should run their course if they’re not too high. Once DH is well, take a spa day! You deserve it!

It’s a perfect storm. PMT, a bad cold, Christmas, TV bust, hosting, laser quest… no wonder you are fraught!
Nobody behaves perfectly at this time of year. Perhaps when you’re calmer you can apologise for losing your temper.
Hope today is better than you feared!

What on earth is this attachment for spa days on MN as THE solution to any life issues…..

And yes some studies show that it’s better to not take paracetamol etc..
But that only works when someone is there to pick up the pieces and do all the stuff you arent. It’s a very privileged position to be in. And assuming that your partner will just pick up the slack isn’t on. (Esp if you’re not doing the same in return etc…)

I'm so glad that everything looks better apart from the insomnia

Sleeping pills from the GP can break the cycle, and if they don't, they can give a couple of good nights sleep a week

I would go laser quest, as a friend/family member or parent to come along and cancel in laws as husband is ill

Spas are relaxing and destressing and I think mom deserves the time to pamper herself when it’s all said and done. Why not?

Definitely cancel his family coming, in fact get him to do it . Don't feel u have got to entertain kids all the time. I'm certain most of us were left to entertain ourselves when we were younger, I know I was. Good luck OP

I’m so glad party went well and DH is on the mend.
My ex used to do this, would take to bed for days, refuse to do anything, although he would dose up on every flu medication going…. Benin bed dying… then annoyingly get up and go into work when his days off finish. He literally never had a sick day in 16 years of marriage… but was ‘too I’ll’ to move on his days off!
when he was sick I slept on sofa….. when I was sick…. I also slept on sofa!