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Original poster

I’m being an arsehole and I don’t know how to stop

100 replies

Snowpake · 28/12/2023 01:44

I am full of rage (pmt). dh developed a fever at bedtime. He has just woken me up with his shivering and grunting. He won’t take any paracetamol as he wants the fever to run its course. So I’m sleeping on the sofa, after 3 nights of horrendous insomnia. Tomorrow I will have to take 6 preteens to laser quest on my own, no doubt on just a few hours sleep. Then we are hosting his family (again!!) on the weekend.

im bloody knackered. If it was me I would take some fucking medication and get on with it but I know I’m going to be waiting on dh hand and foot.

Also i know the cold came from fil, who snotted over everything on xmas day. I shouldn’t be so angry but I am. Just shouted at dh and now he’s in a huff because I’m so mean and I know I’m being a shit but I can’t help it

Ans he is really ill and I feel sorry for him

AAAAAAAARGH.

OP posts:
LittleGreenDragons · 28/12/2023 06:40

flowerchild2000 · 28/12/2023 04:47

So take some medicine for your insomnia.

hmmmmm...perhaps you can tell us what that medication is seeing as how UK doctors don't know how to treat insomnia effectively. I know my own GP is flummoxed on how to help me sleep.

ohdamnitjanet · 28/12/2023 06:43

Snowpake · 28/12/2023 01:52

Good idea, but I will still be left with bored children to entertain. On boxing day the tv fell over and broke and dh was meant to get a new one yesterday while I cleaned but he went to the gym instead and now he’s going to be out of action for days so I guess I’ll have to take the kids to fucking curry’s which is my idea of hell

Edited

Cancel cancel cancel his family, life is too fucking short for all this shit. My last two TV’s came from Argos - good selection, good prices, and they can do same day delivery.

TheSandgroper · 28/12/2023 06:43

I told a boss once who “didn’t take tablets” that taking tablets wasn’t for him, it was for his staff so he would feel well enough to do his fair share. Think the biggest festival day of the year coming up. And he was to bring enough tablets at the recommended dose to get him through the day.

He did what he was told and, because he did his bit, we tried to make his day easier.

And my dh has an awful cold this morning but he dosed himself up and changed the brake pads on the car for me.

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General health
BatshitCrazyWoman · 28/12/2023 06:54

Gah! I have no truck with people (mostly men, let's face it) who 'don't like taking anything' so refuse to but keep fucking whining about being ill. They get told they'll get no sympathy from me unless they try to help themselves.

I'd cancel the family visit, take the kids to Laser Quest and then order a TV from somewhere with next day delivery.

ThisIsntThe80sPat · 28/12/2023 07:16

Cancel the family at the weekend.

Can a family member not help you with laser quest? Mum? Dad? Sibling? Very good friend?

stayathomer · 28/12/2023 07:19

Another for cancel family with a ‘I don’t want everyone to get what dh has and I’m starting to feel it too’. Today will go better than you think it will hopefully!

TookTheBook · 28/12/2023 07:21

LittleGreenDragons · 28/12/2023 06:40

hmmmmm...perhaps you can tell us what that medication is seeing as how UK doctors don't know how to treat insomnia effectively. I know my own GP is flummoxed on how to help me sleep.

Show quote history

It's a tangent but I agree! Would love to know what medicine you mean @flowerchild2000 as I've never found any?

Original poster
Snowpake · 28/12/2023 07:23

I got maybe two hours sleep.
dh says he feels a lot better but didn’t get any sleep either so he is staying home today
predictably of course I have the cold

OP posts:
RowanMayfair · 28/12/2023 07:23

Get a TV from Argos same day delivery. Do nothing for DH until he's taken paracetamol. Cancel his family. Let your kids entertain themselves or meet friends.

Goldbar · 28/12/2023 07:27

He needs to take some drugs and get on with it. I've looked after a 1yo with food poisoning and no help before, and while I don't subscribe to the "I climbed Everest while pregnant with triplets so why can't you host Christmas with a three day old" school of thought, unfortunately when you're a parent with caring responsibilities, being ill isn't a free pass to take yourself off to bed and ignore the world. That's a luxury parents just don't have.

LittleGreenDragons · 28/12/2023 07:27

predictably of course I have the cold

Then cancel hosting his family. Put yourself first for a change. He didn't think twice about putting himself before you or his own child on their birthday. Channel your inner D(ick)H(head).

Dontsparethehorses · 28/12/2023 07:28

Definitely don’t take the kids to Curry’s. Even if dh is poorly he can supervise them enough for you to go- take your time, choose the one you want, grab a coffee…

in all seriousness you wouldn’t want to pass anything on to his family if your now unwell so best to rearrange them coming again…

RandomMess · 28/12/2023 07:28

Sounds like you are both too ill to go out, ask him to tell DC their party is postponed?

Guess he expects you to still go whilst ill but not him?

Goldbar · 28/12/2023 07:28

And don't be a martyr - cancel his family unless he's well enough to do the cooking/entertaining.

RowanMayfair · 28/12/2023 07:29

LittleGreenDragons · 28/12/2023 06:40

hmmmmm...perhaps you can tell us what that medication is seeing as how UK doctors don't know how to treat insomnia effectively. I know my own GP is flummoxed on how to help me sleep.

Show quote history

Have you tried melatonin? You can't get it from the GP but it's a godsend

LittleGreenDragons · 28/12/2023 07:33

RowanMayfair · 28/12/2023 07:29

Have you tried melatonin? You can't get it from the GP but it's a godsend

Show quote history

It is NOT licensed in the UK. From the NHS website:

However, these supplements are not authorised for sale in the UK and it's a prescription-only medicine.
Ordering melatonin online is not recommended. Find out more about the dangers of buying medicines online.

TravelInHope · 28/12/2023 07:39

At least you know it’s all the fault of men.

autienotnaughty · 28/12/2023 07:47

Laser quest today let dh rest.

If he's not better by end of today cancel in-laws coming.

Leave preteens at home to go to curry's. Dad is there.

wite · 28/12/2023 07:48

No. If he's feeling a lot better he can come too. You're both tired.

RowanMayfair · 28/12/2023 07:54

LittleGreenDragons · 28/12/2023 07:33

It is NOT licensed in the UK. From the NHS website:

However, these supplements are not authorised for sale in the UK and it's a prescription-only medicine.
Ordering melatonin online is not recommended. Find out more about the dangers of buying medicines online.

Show quote history

So?
it's available on prescription to children. It's sold OTC in many countries. Why would the lack of licence in the UK stop anyone with sense and insomnia from giving it a go? If you're too nervous to try it that's your lookout but it's perfectly safe.

EDIT to add you were asking about the GP and melatonin so your response was more reasonable than I initially assumed! Apologies. I do recommend it though! Find on piping rock.

Original poster
Snowpake · 28/12/2023 08:03

Ok. Tv ordered from Argos. Dh wants sympathy. I told him he can have a day in bed and lots of rest and relaxation but I can’t stretch to sympathy right now.

am cancelling weekend plans.

OP posts:
LetMeOut2021 · 28/12/2023 08:06

This is a complaint I have about my DH too. When he is ill I’m supposed to fall over myself with sympathy for him. He refuses to take anything to ease his symptoms, he can just halt all his commitments and burden me a little bit extra.

When I am ill, he is nowhere to be seen. I don’t have the luxury of “resting” so I have to cope as best I can.

Take the bloody cold and flu, if you still feel ill, fine. But don’t whinge at me when you won’t help yourself.

baubl · 28/12/2023 08:17

Can one of the other parents join you at laser quest, preferably someone menopausal so you can sit and have a rant together over a coffee?

IheartNiles · 28/12/2023 08:23

It’s most likely covid as you don’t get fevers with colds. He should take the paracetamol, the main reason he is feeling unwell is the unchecked fever.
Cancel the weekend plans.
Sit down at laser quest and let the kids get on with it.
You’re not being an arsehole, this would challenge the patience of a saint.

Original poster
Snowpake · 28/12/2023 08:23

baubl · 28/12/2023 08:17

Can one of the other parents join you at laser quest, preferably someone menopausal so you can sit and have a rant together over a coffee?

😂😂😂

OP posts: