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Original poster

Does anybody else feel a bit rejected as New Year's Eve approaches?

65 replies

Townlife · 27/12/2023 15:16

Dh & I are spending lots of time with family this Christmas (as many people, we do this every year). Lovely as it is, by New Year we'd like to celebrate with friends, but it seems none of them can be bothered. 🤔

Examples -

The couple we invited out last year responded 'Well, we've been invited out by our sisters & partners, also by a work colleague and now you. So to avoid offending anyone we'll just stay in. Hope that's ok!'

Thw year before the community hall in our village was putting on music, food & entertainment so I mentioned it to.my friend (whose Dh is also friends with mine as they run together). Her response - 'Oh I'm sure we'll pop along there, if our times overlap it will be lovely to have a drink with you both'! Well, they didn't turn up. 🤔

Another time we were invited out in a group NYE fancy dress in a pub. We'd made the effort with our outfits, then come the day two other couples cancelled (claiming illness), leaving just us and the couple we didn't know so well. We still went and it was ok, but didn't really work with just 4 of us, harder to keep the 'jolly" going, if you know what I mean!

Another time the couple we were waiting for a reply from never responded, until about 2nd January saying they had bad colds over New Year and should have let us know. 🤔

Thing is, these are all people we're friends with, or neighbours and socialize with often during the year, so we're a bit confused. This year it will be the two of us, treat food at home and fireworks from the Thames on TV! We haven't attempted to arrange anything due to years of indifference from people.

I know we'll still have a lovely evening, but I feel frustrated with our so-called friends! Would anyone else?

OP posts:
unlikelychump · 27/12/2023 15:42

I think fewer people do anything on nye these days. It is such a long night. None of my family members are this year,they are much more party people than us, and we never do

Maxus · 27/12/2023 15:46

Alot of people like to see the new year in a family, just them. Mine included

Warmandbright · 27/12/2023 15:48

new years eve sucks and lots of people share my feelings. Don’t feel rejected if they see you at other times of the year, they probably hate the pressure of NYE or are exhausted from Christmas

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Events & celebrations
Maxus · 27/12/2023 15:49

And I don't know why you are calling them so called friends. You go out during the year. They are entitled to spend new year as THEY wish

Bippitybobbityboing · 27/12/2023 15:51

I hate NYE, everywhere is crowded, prices are doubled, you're morally obliged to stay out until after midnight but then face a 3 hour wait for a taxi.

I have been invited somewhere and may drop in but no otherwise ds and I will go out during the day then relax at home with nice food and fireworks.

Topseyt123 · 27/12/2023 16:05

They are probably all peopled out by this stage and, like many of us, just don't want the forced socialising and jollity on New Year's Eve too. They want a peaceful time instead.

I bloody hate New Year's Eve. I was glad when I had had babies and the "no babysitter" excuse rode to the rescue. The first of those was 28 years ago and I have rarely gone out for New Year since, with a couple of exceptions.

I know I am not alone in finding it a total pain in the arse. Ours will be at home with me, DH and whichever DDs decide to be around. Watching a film, a few nibbles, Big Ben and the fireworks on TV, a quick drink at midnight and then bed.

I doubt it is personal. You just do you and don't place any expectations on anyone else. You sound a bit bitter with your "so-called friends" remark. Just because they are friends doesn't mean that they have to want to socialise on New Year's Eve, while probably still exhausted from Christmas and all that that entails. They are normal. Just accept their wishes.

tuvamoodyson · 27/12/2023 16:22

Lunch with friends on hogmanay….that’ll do me!

BananaSplitsss · 27/12/2023 16:25

Warmandbright · 27/12/2023 15:48

new years eve sucks and lots of people share my feelings. Don’t feel rejected if they see you at other times of the year, they probably hate the pressure of NYE or are exhausted from Christmas

I loathe NYE and NYD . Always have and I am in my forties . Such a hyped up load of shite .

We stay at home and crack open a bottle but that’s about it.

TheChosenTwo · 27/12/2023 16:26

We’ve come away as a huge group!
Started by sil and her dh when they had a baby, it was just the 3 of them the first time. 27 years later there are now around 25 of us that go every year - it’s my kids favourite holiday without fail, all their cousins and always someone to hang out with.
We go out for walks, pub lunches and mostly stay in during the evenings for food, drink, games and merriment. NYE is always a bit party, it’s good for the soul!!

Rainbow1901 · 27/12/2023 16:30

New Years Eve has to be one of the worst evenings - it drags by and is interminably long if you go out. Done a few of those! Also been out for meals with family and friends! I would far rather be at home with the TV, snacks and drinks to chill out and relax. We still see the new year in - just quietly at home until the phones go bananas and fireworks start!!

ElevenSeven · 27/12/2023 16:32

I hate going out NYE. Getting dressed up, having to pre-book tickets for even the local pub, overpriced set menus, no taxis, it’s honestly my idea of hell. Sorry, I’d decline it too.

‘So-called friends’ is also a bit rude. We have friends who don’t seem to be able to spend any time together, just themselves. They also turn the screw a bit when they hear that we are happy staying home.

TheGhostOfTheOpera · 27/12/2023 16:34

@Townlife , it’s MN so ofc you’ll get all the people who don’t enjoy NYE to tell you you are the problem.

Youre not the problem there. It’s ok to enjoy NYE celebrations with friends!! And it’s normal to expect them to let you know if they are coming or not.

The issue you have is that your friends are flaky.
And yes maybe they are tired of the festivities etc…. But they could all have made the effort to let you know (they were ill/decided not to come etc….).

If you look at the rest of the year, do they tend to be flaky too?

LlynTegid · 27/12/2023 16:38

Not one bit. Overpriced for anywhere that you can get into, not that I blame my local pubs one bit for being regulars only or ticketed on NYE.

BlackPhillipa · 27/12/2023 16:39

By NYE I'm generally completely "peopled out" and want nothing more than a night on the sofa im my PJs. I'm 39.

Though I haven't wanted to go out properly for years on NYE to be honest. I don't mind going for lunch or a curry, but I'd definitely want to be home in the quiet by 10pm. There's no way I'd go out to any kind of event that includes midnight.

jolies1 · 27/12/2023 16:41

None of our friends are doing anything this year and it’s a relief! Impossible to get a babysitter, venues expensive / too busy / bit rubbish & everyone is knackered, run down & fed up of the constant rain - we’ll all have a far better time catching up when we’re all fresh at the end of January!

wlv12 · 27/12/2023 16:48

We have tickets to go to a local gaming venue 12:30-5:30pm which will entertain the husband teenagers and then we plan to go home, buffet food, drinks and TV.
DS1 (17) has ASD and struggles with noise and being in busy places so we are always in but the day tends to drag so now I always plan something to do in the afternoon.

Southlondoner88 · 27/12/2023 16:55

Yes i have this problem and have my birthday on New Year’s Day. Nobody ever commits to anything.

FluffActually · 27/12/2023 17:04

Not sure what age you are but for me and my friends (30s-40s) it really is a case of feeling partied out by NYE these days. Don't take it too personally as it sounds like you have a nice social life with these people otherwise.
Our parents' generation all have wild plans, so maybe ride it out for a few decades or make friends with cool older folk!

Christmassss · 27/12/2023 17:12

My friends invited my DH and I to a dinner and dance with an overnight stay in a hotel. Other years we go away to places like Prague, Stockholm or Budapest and have a big night out and watch the fireworks. Or sometimes we have friends over for nibbles, drinks and games.
Until about 10 years ago I was in the ‘ it’s a huge rip off I’m not going out’ gang but then for whatever reason I started to embrace these special occasions and am now proactive in arranging something. I feel like I am getting more out of life for doing so.

Ginnnny · 27/12/2023 17:14

Hate hate HATE going out at new year. Last time we did we had to walk home in the snow because we couldn’t get a taxi and I fell over and broke my ankle 😂 Now, we have a Hogmanay open house and invite friends family and neighbours who all pop in for a snack and a drink.
I think you’re taking it too personally that your friends don’t want to do anything - it’s not you, it’s just new year; a lot of people hate it

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 27/12/2023 17:15

I'm not sure why you're confused, it sounds like most just don't like NYE.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to do something at New Year, but there's also nothing wrong with not.

Upwiththelark76 · 27/12/2023 17:15

Don’t take offence OP many of us prefer to stay in NYE rather than brave taxis / heaving pubs and bars . You get yourself out and enjoy it . Just accept lots of folk CBA with it all it And it most certainly isn’t a snub

Newsenmum · 27/12/2023 17:16

Honestly by NY we’re exhausted and our ideal is to be at home recovering from it all. Good food, tv and champers with the tv and watching fireworks is perfect. It sounds like they all had reasons and weren’t really in the mood. I wouldn’t take it personally.

DarkDarkNight · 27/12/2023 17:18

I couldn’t be bothered going out on NYE now. I wouldn’t take it personally. Christmas is so full-on I think lots of people just like to chill out and not have the pressure of forced jollity on NYE. I like party food or a takeaway and crap telly.

Lelophants · 27/12/2023 17:18

Do you know any people who actually like going out? Maybe suggest something else like lunch instead or something more relaxing?

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