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Original poster

Does anybody else feel a bit rejected as New Year's Eve approaches?

65 replies

Townlife · 27/12/2023 15:16

Dh & I are spending lots of time with family this Christmas (as many people, we do this every year). Lovely as it is, by New Year we'd like to celebrate with friends, but it seems none of them can be bothered. 🤔

Examples -

The couple we invited out last year responded 'Well, we've been invited out by our sisters & partners, also by a work colleague and now you. So to avoid offending anyone we'll just stay in. Hope that's ok!'

Thw year before the community hall in our village was putting on music, food & entertainment so I mentioned it to.my friend (whose Dh is also friends with mine as they run together). Her response - 'Oh I'm sure we'll pop along there, if our times overlap it will be lovely to have a drink with you both'! Well, they didn't turn up. 🤔

Another time we were invited out in a group NYE fancy dress in a pub. We'd made the effort with our outfits, then come the day two other couples cancelled (claiming illness), leaving just us and the couple we didn't know so well. We still went and it was ok, but didn't really work with just 4 of us, harder to keep the 'jolly" going, if you know what I mean!

Another time the couple we were waiting for a reply from never responded, until about 2nd January saying they had bad colds over New Year and should have let us know. 🤔

Thing is, these are all people we're friends with, or neighbours and socialize with often during the year, so we're a bit confused. This year it will be the two of us, treat food at home and fireworks from the Thames on TV! We haven't attempted to arrange anything due to years of indifference from people.

I know we'll still have a lovely evening, but I feel frustrated with our so-called friends! Would anyone else?

OP posts:
Newsenmum · 27/12/2023 17:19

DarkDarkNight · 27/12/2023 17:18

I couldn’t be bothered going out on NYE now. I wouldn’t take it personally. Christmas is so full-on I think lots of people just like to chill out and not have the pressure of forced jollity on NYE. I like party food or a takeaway and crap telly.

Definitely

TitaniasAss · 27/12/2023 17:20

Loads of people just like to stay in for NYE, you're not being 'rejected'. It's OK for people to want to do their own thing. We're away this year, thank god, so I don't have to explain why we're just spending it as a family.

TodayForTomorrow · 27/12/2023 17:22

Don't take it personally. Lots of people hate new year - I'm one of them. I find it a long time to be out because it feels rude to bugger off at 12.05am, so I'm stuck there til more like 2am and I can't make an excuse to leave if it's not fun.

If you see them at other times then take it for what it is.

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Events & celebrations
ThesecondLEM · 27/12/2023 17:24

It's because NYE is shit, it's not you

lapsedbookworm · 27/12/2023 17:25

We're all back to work/school on the 2nd Jan. A big night out definitely doesn't appeal.

Giraff3 · 27/12/2023 17:27

I hate going the pub or town for NYE. Its over priced, difficult to get a taxi, not guaranteed a table with seats (heels). Your already socialised out through december & family visits and feel stuffed as a turkey in clobber. I prefer a quite one in. Not to mention payday is a long way to the end of january.

However, if friends are having a house gathering, il go to those,but il drive and leave not far past midnight.
Even when i was 18, i hated NYE in pubs / venues. All the idiots are let loose in town & bars lol

I also find people are more flaky with plans at this time of december, probably due to the above.

ThreeRingCircus · 27/12/2023 17:41

Don’t take offence OP many of us prefer to stay in NYE rather than brave taxis / heaving pubs and bars . You get yourself out and enjoy it . Just accept lots of folk CBA with it all it And it most certainly isn’t a snub

Exactly this. I'm a social person and love going out with my friends but find being out on NYE absolutely dreadful. Too expensive, too busy and a weird "forced" atmosphere. I would literally prefer to go out any other night of the year than NYE and just want to be at home with a bottle of wine and watch the fireworks on the TV. It isn't you, it's that lots of people hate going out at new year.

BooBooBaloo · 27/12/2023 17:42

NYE is the most overrated night of the year. It's full of forced fun, everywhere is too busy and a bit shit, it's a nightmare getting cabs and I resent paying to get into places we go all the time. Lots of people also wait until the last minute to make a decision in case they can't be arsed or get a better offer

Usually I just opt out of the madness and have a night at home

Lots of people feel the same, so don't take it personally op!

Pebblemonster · 27/12/2023 17:47

As a alcoholic who has been sober for 5 months now why can't people see I want to be left alone on NYE. We have some friends coming over and there will be alcohol about. It is unreasonable for me to ask every one not to drink as its not their problem.
I have only stopped drinking as I was given an ultimatum, carry on and loose my wife and kids or stop and stay together. I am a fully functioning alcoholic with a respectable job.
I hate being sober but I have to do it. Is it unreasonable of me to go away NYE and leave everyone else to have a good time, I have no where to go so was thinking of going into my local woods with the car and just sleeping in my car. My wife wants me at home but I know I will be stroppy and will ruin the night for everyone by being annoyed I can't drink.

GrandHighPoohbah · 27/12/2023 17:50

The older you get, the more people prefer to stay in on NYE, or just meet a couple of friends at their house.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 27/12/2023 17:56

BananaSplitsss · 27/12/2023 16:25

I loathe NYE and NYD . Always have and I am in my forties . Such a hyped up load of shite .

We stay at home and crack open a bottle but that’s about it.

Show quote history

I'm the same, I've never liked it (LOVE Christmas though!). I find it really maudlin, I'm not a drinker and actively avoid drunk people (I was married to an alcoholic, now divorced, thank fuck) so it's not for me.

Peer pressure in my late teens/early 20s meant I had a few awful nights out. I no longer celebrate it or mark it in any way, and continue to celebrate Christmas 😁

PinkflowersWhiteBerries · 27/12/2023 17:56

Aw bless you @Pebblemonster . Well done on your 5 months sober.
Please tell your wife how you feel about NYE. I get that she may want to enjoy a glass of something, but it’s early days for you and if you need to escape that pressure, I think it’s fine that you should be able to.
Good luck with your continued sobriety.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 27/12/2023 18:05

I don’t really like going out on NY. When we lived near my family we’d often go to one of their small gatherings but to be honest nowadays I’d rather have an early night and start the NY refreshed! Maybe your friends are the same.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 27/12/2023 18:24

Don't take it personally. I think everyone's done socialising so much over Christmas we're all exhausted.

I often have intentions but as it gets nearer they wane and I'm too run down to be arsed.

Stringagal · 27/12/2023 18:29

Please have my friends. They’re too enthusiastic and planny about the whole shebang and I’m secretly hoping for either six feet of snow or a small pandemic.

MrsDilligaf · 27/12/2023 18:34

30 years ago NYE/NYD was better than Christmas for me; I had the best time in my 20's partying, but as a creaky old woman with a primary school aged child, the thought of staying up until midnight makes me want to cry.

And if I did party like it was 1999 (and I partied hard that year) I'd probably still have a hangover in June.

Original poster
Townlife · 27/12/2023 18:35

Thanks for all your messages. I suppose it's the fact that their responses have been so non-committal that's annoyed us. If people aren't up for something I'd rather they just said 'Thank you but no'', outright! For example, the couple that contacted us after New Year to say they'd both had colds, were invited just to our House, 4 doors away to see in New Year, not out anywhere expensive or busy!
The ones that didn't turn up to the community event, why didn't they say they weren't going,, rather than they might be?

The couples who cancelled the fancy dress event, it's happened occasionally at other times of year. But a night where we were all dressing up, it spoilt it by them not turning up. 🤔

I suppose I'm a bit of a people-pleaser, and find it easier to say yes than no, but if it's something I don't want to do I WILL say no from the outset, rather than cancel last minute, or just give a 'Maybe' response. It would feel disrespectful to the host/organiser otherwise.

I'm not a fan of long, drawn out NYE's either. Meeting later, and local so no taxis are needed works for us. We won't be asking these people again though, it's pointless! I'm 50 and dh is 58, btw.

OP posts:
TheGhostOfTheOpera · 27/12/2023 18:43

Yep.

Those people who can’t face NYE party, why can’t they simply say NO? Surely, it’s not harder to say NO to a NYE invite than at any other time of the year.

LuluBlakey1 · 27/12/2023 18:54

We are staying in. We enjoy it. Us and 3 DC (9, 6 and 4). We are having tea at PILs, will walk home about 7, play a couple of games with DC. They go to bed by 8.30-9.00 and DH and I play cards, have a drink, and usually a bit of a dance after we've had a couple of drinks. We're in bed by 12.30. No late night, no hangover.

TheChosenTwo · 27/12/2023 19:14

@Pebblemonster talk to your wife and explain how you’re feeling. Could you book yourself into a premier inn or somewhere like that, take some entertainment of some kind, book, laptop, gaming stuff or whatever. Order a takeaway and get an early night?
sleeping in your car for a night sounds really unpleasant when you’re trying to look after yourself by staying away from a difficult situation, I think you deserve something a bit nicer.
And well done for your 5 months, keep going, my brother has just made it to 20 years and I’m just so proud of how he’s turned his life around for the better 💐

Bobsledgirl · 27/12/2023 19:17

I hate NY so just watch a film in bed with a glass of fizz. I find the idea of it all a bit depressing.

jay55 · 27/12/2023 19:25

I'm counting down the days to going home and being alone for new year. I cannot wait.

DelilahBucket · 27/12/2023 19:30

Everything is so expensive on New Year's and getting a taxi home is horrendous. For that reason, if we're child free, we don't go far, within walking distance of home. This year we have looked around at what is happening locally and at £80+ each per ticket plus the cost of drinks, we just can't afford it, so we're staying in and making a nice meal. I think a lot of people feel the same. We popped into our local yesterday and they were still trying to sell their tickets at this late stage.

Uricon2 · 27/12/2023 19:43

I think people have all kinds of good ideas about what they're doing on NYE, but when it comes to actually going out, the fact it is late/cold/too much effort takes over, certainly when you're a bit older and it is no longer as exciting. I wouldn't take it personally OP.

PastorCarrBonarra · 27/12/2023 19:43

I like NYE but taxis are a nightmare around my way so I don’t commit to anything that’s not walkable. On that note, I think that the neighbours were quite rude OP, they should’ve told you of their illnesses on 31st or before. Maybe they didn’t realise that it was a firm invitation though, as opposed to a “pop in if you’re free” thing?

The fancy dress couples at least told you they were unwell, and the others didn’t commit to coming to the event in the hall I suppose.

I wouldn’t take any of it personally.