Does anybody else feel a bit rejected as New Year's Eve approaches?

[Townlife]

Dh & I are spending lots of time with family this Christmas (as many people, we do this every year). Lovely as it is, by New Year we'd like to celebrate with friends, but it seems none of them can be bothered. 🤔

Examples -

The couple we invited out last year responded 'Well, we've been invited out by our sisters & partners, also by a work colleague and now you. So to avoid offending anyone we'll just stay in. Hope that's ok!'

Thw year before the community hall in our village was putting on music, food & entertainment so I mentioned it to.my friend (whose Dh is also friends with mine as they run together). Her response - 'Oh I'm sure we'll pop along there, if our times overlap it will be lovely to have a drink with you both'! Well, they didn't turn up. 🤔

Another time we were invited out in a group NYE fancy dress in a pub. We'd made the effort with our outfits, then come the day two other couples cancelled (claiming illness), leaving just us and the couple we didn't know so well. We still went and it was ok, but didn't really work with just 4 of us, harder to keep the 'jolly" going, if you know what I mean!

Another time the couple we were waiting for a reply from never responded, until about 2nd January saying they had bad colds over New Year and should have let us know. 🤔

Thing is, these are all people we're friends with, or neighbours and socialize with often during the year, so we're a bit confused. This year it will be the two of us, treat food at home and fireworks from the Thames on TV! We haven't attempted to arrange anything due to years of indifference from people.

I know we'll still have a lovely evening, but I feel frustrated with our so-called friends! Would anyone else?

@Uricon2 youre right. People are just flaky and rude.

You need to tell your wife that you can't handle alcohol in the house, I'm sure she will understand and support you.

I hate NY. it’s not just the forced fun, it’s forced fun at a particular time.
I’ve been to parties, been out in different cities. Honestly it’s never been great. I enjoyed messing about with my friends as a teenager (walking distance of town). But after that it’s always been a letdown.
DH is Scottish and always tries to make a massive thing of it, even he’s given up. He’s very sentimental about the huge extended family parties there were for it when he was growing up, but no one took over from his Gran.
His sibling tried to start a thing of having a massive house party every year but it always failed because of transport issues as his friends were all over the place. People leaving at 10pm for taxis etc.
What worse now is the teenager wants to stay up and I find it really late but I have to! So I feel crap all New Year’s Day as I’m awake at 5am regardless.

I would love to go somewhere warm for new years once, I know it would feel like a totally different night.

We have experienced similar. I just think everyone gets so many offers because everyone is organising their own get together, and so many people also prefer to be at home so they can have a drink, or be with their kids. NYE is the worse day of the year to organise getting a group of friends together as the majority of people will have had multiple other offers.

Just read your post again and no one said a definite yes except the friends we where I'll at the fancy dress and they let you know in time. Another friend said they would go if there times overlap meaning they had something we else on so chances are they wouldn't come and if they did it wouldn't be for long. They weren't being flaky it's obvious they had other plans. The last couple never said they where coming. Illness happend, I certainly wouldn't be going out if I was ill and I would hope friends would understand that

I don't do anything for New Year's Eve in fact I don't even stay up for midnight. This year I have a gym class at 8.30 on New Year's day so I won't be drinking and it will be an early night.

Maxus, we don't expect anyone to go out if they're ill, and we certainly wouldn't be out ourselves!

But just a heads-up from the people we invited - 'So sorry but won't be able to come to yours now, we've got colds' or 'We won't be popping into tonight's event now, due to other plans' would be appreciated.

What annoys me is when people don't communicate and leave us wondering!

I should think if EVER there was a night NOT to go out, it's NYE.

@Townlife I agree with you! It’s really hard to arrange groups these days. I love NYE! I’ve managed to cobble together 4 friends plus DH to do something this year but god it was hard work! I don’t blame you for giving up. I think next year I’ll go on holiday with DH so I don’t feel shit that everyone is shit!

Townlife

Have you tried the texting a couple of days before and then on the afternoon of the actual night out day to check they are definitely coming? Hey we’re looking forward to seeing you later, what are you thinking of wearing etc. Then at lest you can sound out if people are flaky.
Also if anyone says they may drop in they’re either not going to or they’ve arranged to see other friends at the event so don’t count on either seeing them or spending any time with them.
As you like NYE so much you may be better of booking something for just partner and yourself. Local restaurants often have special menus and entertainment laid on.

I think a lot of people can’t be arsed about NYE. Normally we stay in, this year we’ve been invited to a friend’s house, it will just be drinks and board games, but will be nice. If we weren’t invited anywhere that would have been ok too. Try not to take it personally. Perhaps people are skint after Christmas as well, not going to be much fun stretching that December pay packet over January.

I think a lot of people have NY traditions - people they always spend NY with. We found this - sometimes one of our friends would throw a party or we would. Or occasionally we would be invited to a small gathering. It would be quite stressful as NY approached waiting to see if anything was happening.

A few years ago we ended up with Jo plans at the last minute so I decided I wasn't going to wait around again and tge following year we booked to go away for New Year. We've done it every year since - we're off tomorrow morning 😊

I agree with all the 'peopled out' sentiments on the thread but I also get what OP is saying and why they feel rejected. I'm in a slightly different position, I don't really want to go put, for the reasons everyone has mentioned, but I also feel a bit rejected and lonely because no-one has invited me out.Everyone seems to have their own plans and I'm not included. Made me think I need to try to make a couple of new friends this year.

it's the most overrated night of the year , places charging in that are normally free , people have had too much food and drink over christmas .The falseness at mid night makes me want to be sick .It is the arse end of the festive season .

It sounds like a lot of people just don't like it or at least prefer to stay at home.

I also think a lot of people wait for better offers at New Year so don't like to commit.