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Original poster

Am I a poser for wearing things that are outrageously more expensive than what I normally wear?

104 replies

ConcreteSky · 25/12/2023 18:28

Happy Christmas to those who celebrate,

My question is:
although I have a great job that pays well and live comfortably however I'm not a someone one would identify as wealthy, I live very frugally (lucky to be able to put away a large portion of my income) and I don't shop often usually wear bargain stuffs and not ashamed wear them again and again sometimes for years. However when I really really love something (which happen extremely rarely) I would try my best to save up and buy them. Therefore over the years I acquired a Rolex, a set of earrings and necklace with colour stones similar to the watch that was over 100k quid (sorry for being crass, just trying to paint the picture better), and an bejeweled Judith Lieber clutch... literally the only expensive stuffs that I own. Wore them to formal occasions maybe over 20 times each already (in variations; sometimes the watch and earrings, necklace only, earrings and purse etc.) they look flashy and expensive but that's not why I bought them, purely because I like their appearances.

But recently I read an comment online (not here but on other site, a fashion forum) that what I've been doing is actually 'wrong' because I don't normally wear items that are in that price range or socialize with people whose median income think those are acceptable purchases (eventhough my friends generally dressed in more expensive clothes than I do and they buy new clothes all the time) do you think I'm a poser?

OP posts:
Original poster
ConcreteSky · 25/12/2023 20:10

For clarification, I have never been dissed (nor I have told anyone the cost of my jewelry though I do mention where I get them from *only if they asked) however the discussion on that forum and the divided response makes me think I did a disadvantage regarding social cues lol it's just food for thought

OP posts:
VinoEsmeralda · 25/12/2023 20:14

If you enjoy wearing it than its the right thing to spend your money on. Each to their own, enjoy it!

I was given an expensive watch and love it, never thought I would but really appreciate the craftsmanship and makes me smile when I wear it.

bellac11 · 25/12/2023 20:22

I wouldnt know a 110k piece of jewellery if it hit me in the face to be honest, I would just think its nice jewellery

Same with watches, I wouldnt know what was what

So I certainly wouldnt think anything of you because of what you were wearing, I just assume people wear things becuase they like them

Interested in this thread?

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topnoddy · 25/12/2023 20:24

ConcreteSky · 25/12/2023 18:58

The watch was not £100 grand lol but the necklace and earrings were (Van Cleef & Arpels)

You could have bought an Aston Martin for that sort of money !

110APiccadilly · 25/12/2023 20:31

It's your money and you've spent it on something you like. Wouldn't be my choice, but I'm sure my choice wouldn't be yours either. Unless you robbed a jewellers I don't see an issue.

Obviously if you're with people who are struggling to make ends meet and saying, "What do you think of my £100,000 jewellery?" then that would make you thoughtless at best. But if you're just wearing it for a special occasion, no problem.

Cerealkiller4U · 25/12/2023 20:34

Friend of mine has a huge pear diamond. Nearing on 12 carats on a 24 gold.

it looks fake. I think it looks like it’s come out a Christmas cracker and told her so. However the ring was made from a necklqce which has real sentimental story behind it.

she also thought she lost it on a beach (it’s insured thank goodness) she didn’t lose it in a beach !!! It was in a pocket gasp

I imagine that’s what people are thinking in reality. Jewellery that expensive tends to be quite garish. I tried on a diamond ring that I adored in a diamond factory in amsterdam. However I remember telling the guy I’d be worried someone would just chop off my finger rather than rob me!

katsusando · 25/12/2023 20:39

No, you're not a poser. Ignore the comments because they're as wrong as they are clueless. It's your money and you can spend it how you wish. Tbh, I think buying a few items such as the ones you possess is a great way to indulge yourself - far better to have a few beautiful pieces than piles of cheap tat. Additionally, these are all items that will retain their value and possibly increase.

dontgobaconmyheart · 25/12/2023 20:45

I'd imagine most people probably think they're fake and therefore that it's all a bit crass - that is the vibe it gives on when someone wears budget clothing and then has one or two clearly 'designer' items.

I don't know OP, you can buy what you what. Sounds like a total waste of money to me. I certainly couldn't afford 100k jewellery but equally am not impressed by it either and find it a bit daft, If I could, I wouldn't as surely the only reason there really is to do so is in the hope others see or as a status thing in ones own mind. I am in a position to buy designer I suppose, if I really felt inclined but there's very little that isn't exactly the same these days for significantly less money; therefore surely the only real point is to have it because you can, and so other people know you can.

ChristmasFairyGodmother · 25/12/2023 20:49

Tbh I wouldn't notice. I have no interest in labelled stuff so if I happened to muster any thought about your attire, I'd probably just inwardly note whether I thought it suited you or not.

GalileoHumpkins · 25/12/2023 21:09

zaazaazoo · 25/12/2023 19:54

Don't be silly. This is an anonymous thread so the op isn't getting any kudos. She's giving context. You just sound bitter

Show quote history

How do I sound bitter? You have no idea how much my diamond tiara cost and I'm far too classy to tell you!

AmethystSparkles · 25/12/2023 21:19

I’m not sure I believe you. There are so many things you can do with 100k….it would be absolutely bonkers to spend it on jewellery.

PegasusReturns · 25/12/2023 21:29

Spend your money as you wish and wear what you want.

some people will assume that your jewellery is fake - so what? You’re wearing it for yourself

LaChienneDesFromages · 25/12/2023 22:00

Another one here who probably wouldn’t notice. People wear designer watches and expensive jewellery to special events all the time. Just make sure it’s fitting for the occasion. I wore a vintage Rolex (inherited, gold and dear to me) to Glyndebourne this year. I very much didn’t wear it a couple of weeks later to WOMAD.

I wouldn’t assume your lovely things were fake, but I also wouldn’t know it had cost you 100k, or care. It’s really not that likely to be sending any significant social cue to anyone interesting. Enjoy wearing it if it’s your thing, and relax!

zaazaazoo · 25/12/2023 22:18

@topnoddy You could have bought an Aston Martin for that sort of money !
You say that like a car is better than jewellery 😂

zaazaazoo · 25/12/2023 22:19

Cerealkiller4U · 25/12/2023 20:34

Friend of mine has a huge pear diamond. Nearing on 12 carats on a 24 gold.

it looks fake. I think it looks like it’s come out a Christmas cracker and told her so. However the ring was made from a necklqce which has real sentimental story behind it.

she also thought she lost it on a beach (it’s insured thank goodness) she didn’t lose it in a beach !!! It was in a pocket gasp

I imagine that’s what people are thinking in reality. Jewellery that expensive tends to be quite garish. I tried on a diamond ring that I adored in a diamond factory in amsterdam. However I remember telling the guy I’d be worried someone would just chop off my finger rather than rob me!

You told someone you thought their ring wasn't nice? Are you always this spectacularly rude?

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 26/12/2023 08:49

zaazaazoo · 25/12/2023 22:18

@topnoddy You could have bought an Aston Martin for that sort of money !
You say that like a car is better than jewellery 😂

It is! Although I'm not sure I'd buy an Aston, there's so many cars in the price range I'd love. Infinitely better than jewellery because there's more things you can use it for.

OP probably doesn't think so. But that's what makes the world so interesting. We're all different.

TitaniasAss · 26/12/2023 08:56

I'd probably think they were fake anyway to be honest. Firstly, because I wouldn't be able the recognise the real thing and if you were wearing a Rolex with a Primark dress, I would assume the watch was fake. However, if you love them, wear them it's nowt to do with anyone else.

bluegreenoil · 26/12/2023 09:49

I have to say that I hadn't ever seen the definition of poser and previously had just thought it meant someone who was particularly keen to show to others how much money they had.

I never really thought it meant that someone was "deceiving" others into believing something that might not be the case. I thought that they did have the money, but it was the fact that the interest was the showing, not the having.
However, now I think about it, if the word comes from "to pose" then there is this sense of intentionally doing something for a reason, therefore showing your possessions or lack of.

I wouldn't think twice about it Op. Wear whatever you like. You are not responsible for the interpretations others have of you, but having said that, you can't pretend that others don't make judgments either, because that's life.

I also have some jewellery, gold/stones, given at birth as part of my culture. If I were to wear it it would be very much at odds with my clothes and lifestyle, but with my friends if they ask I just tell them where it's from and that's it. I can't control what other people who see me wearing it might think.

GrandParade · 26/12/2023 10:09

If anyone happened to recognise the bag or jewellery as genuine, and knew their approximate cost, I imagine they might find it somewhat odd that someone who lives very frugally, and lives with their parents in order to save, owns a couple of very expensive, ostentatiously flashy, things, but I imagine most people either wouldn’t notice, or would assume they were fake.

JesusAndMaryPain · 26/12/2023 10:18

No. Not a poser.
I actually find the lemonade wages champagne lifestyle brigade much more strange. But that's me. It doesn't cause more than a passing thought. Also, nowt as strange as folk!
Don't worry about it.
Enjoy your watch, earrings, whatever. You don't need permission!

DaisyDreaming · 26/12/2023 10:28

When you’re dying would you regret not living your life how you wanted and enjoying your items or regret having worn items and possibly being perceived by some as a poser? If I saw you I would just think “that’s a nice necklace” (if it were to my taste)

D20 · 26/12/2023 10:51

No, not at all. I buy some of my clothes and shoes from eBay and wear them with an expensive watch (not Rolex level though) daily. The only people who notice are ‘watch people’ and jewellers.

Mairzydotes · 26/12/2023 10:58

I don't think you're a poser for buying a couple of expensive pieces.
Having a high end watch or handbag seems like a regular bucket list thing.

WhichIsItWendy · 26/12/2023 11:04

No, a poser would be someone who wore something flashy to impress others. If you wear it because you love it, you're just normal. Price is irrelevant.

superplumb · 26/12/2023 11:17

I don't think it's makes you a poser unless you go round telling everyone how much it cost.
I don't think it's crass either but that would depend on the circumstances. For example at a black tie event then fine at a charity event then no clearly not.
You work for your money so buy what you love. I'd be too scared to wear jewellery like that ( couldn't afford it or go to places to wear it) but it's noones business what you do with your money ( as long as its ot hurting anyone)