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Original poster

Don't have present for friend

92 replies

Shithole101 · 23/12/2023 18:28

I have a friend who wants to come round tomorrow. To exchange presents I have not bought her anything because I have had other stuff on my mind. I'm not going out Xmas eve. I have loads of stuff I need to do in the house as well. I really can't be bothered . But I know I'm being horrible.

OP posts:
oneflewoverthe · 23/12/2023 19:12

Just buy a gift card from the nearest supermarket.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 23/12/2023 19:12

If you are feeling up to the visit, then I'd pop out to local Co-op (or whatever is in your area) and get a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates and a present bag to stuff them in.

Alternatively if you aren't up to the visit, it's OK to say. As long as you let her know in advance .

It may be that your friend wants to get you a present but doesn't expect one back. I have a couple of friends who are struggling in different ways and I buy for them as I want to do something nice , but I would hate them to feel they have to get themselves together to go out to get me something when they aren't up to it, or can't afford it .

OldTinHat · 23/12/2023 19:13

Oh dear, you've been throwing up all night, you don't want to pass on a bug to your friend on Christmas Eve...such bad timing. Or that migraine you have?!

'Friend, can we reschedule for our gift swap to after New Year because I can't get off the loo atm?'

I've made my own vouchers for friends before. To take them out for an afternoon tea or a lunch or drive them to a garden centre or trip round a museum. I also have MH issues but these 'gifts' have always been well received and I can schedule them for when I'm up to it.

This is your friend. She loves you for you, so don't feel pressured. Make an excuse and see her when you want to. She won't mind.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Christmas
Original poster
Shithole101 · 23/12/2023 19:13

CyberCritical · 23/12/2023 19:04

Hi @Shithole101 have seen a few of your posts and know that you do suffer with depression sometimes, is this more about not feeling up to a visit than the present?

I don't actually have depression its just life is a bit of a bitch to me 😅 but yeah it's both .
I love Xmas I really do. But there's also alot of stress and pressure on me. And I won't get a break from it. Although my house won't be a madness till Xmas eve evening. It still feels a bit much

OP posts:
Whiskers4 · 23/12/2023 19:14

Can you get to local shop tonight or early tomorrow - many are open 6am-10pm. You'd be able to get wine, fav spirit spirit, flowers, chocolates, nice looking biscuits or a mix of treaty items.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 23/12/2023 19:15

ShillyShallySherbet · 23/12/2023 19:04

Assuming this hasn’t been arranged for ages it’s fine to say you’re too busy tomorrow to see her, it’s Christmas Eve! So don’t feel at all guilty. Even if it’s been arranged for a while it’s fine to apologise and say you can’t meet up.

Just told me today

OP posts:
OutwiththeOutCrowd · 23/12/2023 19:23

What OldTinHat says! You are not feeling very well. (Which is true.) And you'd
love to see her when you are up to it later on. (Also true.)

LinnieM · 23/12/2023 19:23

Just tell her you’re too busy tomorrow but can you rearrange to see her in the NY?

Original poster
Shithole101 · 23/12/2023 19:25

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 23/12/2023 19:23

What OldTinHat says! You are not feeling very well. (Which is true.) And you'd
love to see her when you are up to it later on. (Also true.)

I'm not ill 🤣 won't look great when Xmas day etc it posted all over social media and I'm meant to be ill

OP posts:
Original poster
Shithole101 · 23/12/2023 19:28

purser25 · 23/12/2023 19:01

Gosh can’t imagine not owning a single book.

@purser25 I have dyslexia/learning difficulties. Time I'm half way down the page I have forgotten what I read.

OP posts:
OutwiththeOutCrowd · 23/12/2023 19:32

Not feeling very well covers feeling stressed out your mind with everything you've got to get done as well as having the flu. You can let her know that you'd rather see her when you can give her your full (unstressed) attention later.

Serene135 · 23/12/2023 19:36

Just say you are not feeling well and ask if you can meet up after Xmas instead. That also gives you time to get her a gift (which you really should do especially if you know she has bought something for you). Sometimes it’s nice just to relax over Xmas and not have to accommodate others 💐

caringcarer · 23/12/2023 19:43

Pop out and buy a gift voucher or bottle of wine from supermarket.

Original poster
Shithole101 · 23/12/2023 19:51

caringcarer · 23/12/2023 19:43

Pop out and buy a gift voucher or bottle of wine from supermarket.

There's no way I'm going to a supermarket on Xmas eve . I have to much to do as well . But thru are at home things

OP posts:
Swishyfishy · 23/12/2023 19:52

Just ask if she can come after Xmas instead because you’re snowed under

Cakeandcardio · 23/12/2023 19:56

There's nothing wrong with not meeting up on Christmas Eve. Of she only messaged today to meet up then that's way too short notice for most people. Just message now and say you've thought about it and can you actually meet up after Christmas as you have too much to do tomorrow. It's like that for a lot of people.

PepperJacksBestHo · 23/12/2023 19:58

What are you hoping for from this thread, OP? You seem to have shot down every suggestion so far.

oneflewoverthe · 23/12/2023 19:58

You don't seem to be open to any suggestions. Just cancel if you want. That's what you want people to tell you.

dooneyousmugelf · 23/12/2023 20:00

Well did you agree to it? Is this an actual arrangement you've made? It's fine to decline, you know!

booktokbear · 23/12/2023 20:01

Anything everyone has said you've replied negatively op. How can we help?

Original poster
Shithole101 · 23/12/2023 20:06

I think my thread has been misunderstood by some. Some get it some don't. It's not (all) about the present

OP posts:
momsybear · 23/12/2023 20:08

It's fine to say "mate, so sorry. Totally booked up tomorrow. How are you fixed 28-30th?"

LinnieM · 23/12/2023 20:08

So tell your friend that she can’t come round tomorrow? I’m not too sure what the issue is really. Unless you don’t want to rearrange and don’t want her to come round at all?

Sparklyhat · 23/12/2023 20:11

Everyone who suggests you cancel or pull a sicky you give an excuse why you can't?

Yanbu to decline a visit on Christmas Eve, just say something came up you've got a mountain of gifts to wrap and you're so sorry but have to cancel and rearrange for x in January

Sparklyhat · 23/12/2023 20:12

Shithole101 · 23/12/2023 20:06

I think my thread has been misunderstood by some. Some get it some don't. It's not (all) about the present

I think it's because the title is literally "don't have present for friend"