Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

When did you realise your boss doesn’t give a frick about you?

92 replies

Ntail · 22/12/2023 15:44

I’ve only recently come to realise that my boss really doesn’t give one fuck about me or my wellbeing/progress. I’m a PA.

She constantly takes credit for my work and gives vague criticisms when she is in a bad mood.

I used to ask her about her weekend or holiday plans and she would tell me all about them but never ask a single question back.

Usually manager’s get their PAs a small christmas gift or something. It’s the done thing at my company. I decided to buy her a bottle of wine and a card and she said “thanks, are you hoping for a good appraisal at salary review?”

OP posts:
wysen · 22/12/2023 20:33

@festivetinseling **

I was on my own in the shop, so I locked the door, put a sign up saying 'back in 5 minutes' on the door and went off to Boots to buy some strong painkillers

Honestly you could have handled this better. It wasn't your call to shut the shop. You should have called for reinforcement or permission first.
I'd be annoyed if an employee did that to me.

TheCatfordCat · 22/12/2023 20:55

My ex recently witnessed a colleague pass away on the "shop floor" from a heart attack. His boss told the employees to carry on working and even divided the deceased man's work between them, insisting it had to be done. The manager has since been "reassigned" but I was shocked he was so unfeeling about it all.

Clemfandango95 · 22/12/2023 21:01

When I received a congratulations card for the birth of my daughter that said the wrong name.

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 22/12/2023 21:05

Clemfandango95 · 22/12/2023 21:01

When I received a congratulations card for the birth of my daughter that said the wrong name.

Your name, or your daughter's?

RaisinsOfMildAnnoyance · 22/12/2023 21:06

Most people who end up as managers are the types of people who make the worst sort of managers. Anyone who enjoys the ego boost and power trip of bossing someone around doesn't belong anywhere near management.

TitsInAbsentia · 22/12/2023 21:10

I was thinking my current manager was a tit but then I read the posts above...I'm doing ok, but the world is full of aholes 😐

Deedee37 · 22/12/2023 21:13

When she didn’t pay me for my work in November (freelance, but currently working exclusively for her). Obvs she hasn’t paid me yet for any work in December neither. Last time I got paid was October. How can you leave people without money before Christmas is beyond me.

betterangels · 22/12/2023 21:21

Canthave2manycats · 22/12/2023 18:04

From the very beginning of my working life.

Tbh this. I assume they don't give a shit. Less disappointment and expectation.

LaughingCat · 22/12/2023 21:35

When my boss pretended they didn’t know about a leadership course I wanted to try out for and said they’d have to look more into it but that there might be several reasons why I couldn’t do it off the top of their head…when a colleague told me just the day before that they’d discussed that very course with my boss just a week or so earlier and the boss was considering going for it as well.

I wouldn’t have cared if they didn’t think I was ready or they wanted to do it and didn’t want us both off at the same time…or whatever the reason was - we could have worked around it. It was the lying about not knowing about it while subtly trying to put me off that upset me and made me realise they really didn’t care.

festivetinseling · 22/12/2023 23:43

wysen · 22/12/2023 20:33

@festivetinseling **

I was on my own in the shop, so I locked the door, put a sign up saying 'back in 5 minutes' on the door and went off to Boots to buy some strong painkillers

Honestly you could have handled this better. It wasn't your call to shut the shop. You should have called for reinforcement or permission first.
I'd be annoyed if an employee did that to me.

I was in agony from the stitches and shouldn't really have been there at all. Staff regularly had to lock the door and put the 'back in 5 minutes' sign up if we needed to go to the toilet at the back of the shop. They usually only had one staff member in at a time anyway, and sold a fairly niche product so not exactly busy at the best of times. On the day in question, I'd been there over an hour and had no customers at all. I was in sole charge of the business that morning. There was no point in ringing the owner because she wouldn't have been able to take the call at that time, since she was in the middle of something and uncontactable, which is why I was there in the first place. And the chemist was literally round the corner so I was only gone about 3 minutes.

I was actually doing them a favour short-term and only did a few Saturday mornings here and there to help them out. I was also in a very senior managerial position in my regular day job (considerably more senior than the owner of this shop realised), and I did not appreciate being spoken to like an untrustworthy teenager that she'd caught skiving off.

🙂

festivetinseling · 22/12/2023 23:52

@wysen Oh yes, and I wasn't an employee, I was self-employed, invoiced her for my hours, and she paid me cash out of the till.

coxesorangepippin · 23/12/2023 01:05

We have a lot of one to one chats with the manger, how are you doing blah blah, health and wellness initiatives etc etc and it's all bullshit.

It's just corporate lip service

These people do not give a fuck about you.

Which is why you shouldn't ever feel guilty for finding another job/ taking what's owed to you

QuestionableMouse · 23/12/2023 01:06

Rang her on Monday morning to say I'd be a bit late in because I had to pick up a hire car. (My own car caught fire last Friday!)

Her immediate question was "but what about the dogs?"

Yeah, cheers, I'm fine thank you! 😕

SausageChopsBellyFlops · 23/12/2023 01:11

I poured my heart and soul into my job for 3 years, then I got cancer, I was due an operation in October, and my boss told me I better be back to do all the Christmas stuff. I had a stroke while being operated on so was signed off for longer and I had an email saying how inconvenient it was, and that was it. I quit after that.

Groovy48592747 · 23/12/2023 02:10

I worked for a man for many years. He wasn't the employer but was my boss, earning £200k plus whereas my salary was a fraction of that.

Christmas gifts would be, probably chosen by his wife, one of those free beauty sets you get with two purchases of a product kind of thing.

When both his parents died, I sent flowers. When my parents died - he sent nothing.

When I was moved onto another section I shortly left for a promotion. No farewell gift from him despite all the years I'd worked for him.

Not that I would expect it but just goes to show, you are often used while you're there and any gift is given out of duty. Needless to say I don't keep in touch.

ClassicStripe · 23/12/2023 05:57

festivetinseling · 22/12/2023 23:43

I was in agony from the stitches and shouldn't really have been there at all. Staff regularly had to lock the door and put the 'back in 5 minutes' sign up if we needed to go to the toilet at the back of the shop. They usually only had one staff member in at a time anyway, and sold a fairly niche product so not exactly busy at the best of times. On the day in question, I'd been there over an hour and had no customers at all. I was in sole charge of the business that morning. There was no point in ringing the owner because she wouldn't have been able to take the call at that time, since she was in the middle of something and uncontactable, which is why I was there in the first place. And the chemist was literally round the corner so I was only gone about 3 minutes.

I was actually doing them a favour short-term and only did a few Saturday mornings here and there to help them out. I was also in a very senior managerial position in my regular day job (considerably more senior than the owner of this shop realised), and I did not appreciate being spoken to like an untrustworthy teenager that she'd caught skiving off.

🙂

Show quote history

Talk about a drip feed!

shearwater2 · 23/12/2023 06:12

There aren't many bosses or colleagues where I've really been interested in their life or cared about them much. On the other hand a few have become good friends. With some places I haven't wanted to stay that long or get to know anyone very well.

It is lovely when you can be close and get on, but I expect companies and bosses to put their own interests first and get rid of people at the drop of a hat if they need to, so I don't extend loyalty to them easily. I had parents who were made redundant on more than one occasion in the 1980s and early 90s, so perhaps that lends a particular perspective.

Rickenbackergoodgrief · 23/12/2023 06:12

Employees are nothing more than a number on a payroll, everyone is dispensable.

Readingineading · 23/12/2023 06:32

One of mine actually hated me. She had been passing a lot of her work onto me for years then taking credit for it. She then got ready to retire and decided that her friend in the team would get her job . Take note, this was not her company, this was a large international company.
In order to make her friend look better she told our manager that her friend was actively training in her own time to do the tasks.
Our manager therefore got IT to give him acess to our local file , which showed all reports timestamped and who had created them.
I was gradually excluded from the team by my manager i.e. team lunches, early finish for Xmas ect.
Big manager calls a handover meeting with the team . Bitch manager is given all the information on who did the reports by big manager . She fucking flips , stands up and tells him that she hates me. I stayed calm enough to say that that explained a lot then I told big boss that I saw no reason for me to stay in the meeting and I walked out.

Brird · 23/12/2023 06:34

OP, find someone nicer to work for. I'm a PA and had a string of egotistical, uncaring managers and thought that was all there was out there. For the last 7 years though (3 bosses), I've had the luck of working for caring, thoughtful people.

It's true though that it's a business, and if my role became dispensable, well then, they would let me go. I understand that though, it's not personal. In the same way that if my circumstances changed, I would leave.

user1492757084 · 23/12/2023 06:56

Many of these stories are terrible.
I would expect human compassion and the Boss making sure that I have support and know my rights to take days off, with pay or without, during stressful life events.

I would expect to be spoken to respectfully, complimented on some work and thanked for my years work.

I would expect to be paid the award that covers me, superannuation and any thing else to which I am entitled.

I would not expect to become best friends - but a valued employee.
I would not expect a huge Christmas bonus, hoorah or party -dependant on the custom of the work place and the profitability of the business..

I would expect that the owner can take out money for purposes unknown to me for themselves. They have to service loans, pay advertising, purchase equipment, buy out partners or family. That is their concern and they don't owe me anything more than my contracted price.

If a Boss didn't show me common decency I would find a new job. Life is too short.

ElinoristhenewEnid · 23/12/2023 07:12

A friend of mine was a delivery driver. Was threatened and robbed of goods whilst delivering

Friend contacted boss and was told to finish round. Returned to depot and contacted police. Was told by boss that police interview had to take place outside work hours in own time.

Left shortly afterwards.

CatOnTheLap · 23/12/2023 07:56

My manager brought her teenagers into the office, pointed to my teeth and told her kids “that’s why I wouldn’t let you suck your thumb when you were kids”

QuestionableMouse · 23/12/2023 08:19

QuestionableMouse · 23/12/2023 01:06

Rang her on Monday morning to say I'd be a bit late in because I had to pick up a hire car. (My own car caught fire last Friday!)

Her immediate question was "but what about the dogs?"

Yeah, cheers, I'm fine thank you! 😕

Didn't explain this very well - she was talking about her dogs and was more concerned about them being walked late than me!

festivetinseling · 23/12/2023 10:07

ClassicStripe · 23/12/2023 05:57

Talk about a drip feed!

Show quote history

It was only a throwaway remark I made to start with, and never intended to go into it in any detail. Never thought it would be necessary until someone told me that it was me in the wrong and not the horrid boss. One has to put that sort of thing straight.