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Original poster

Oh my god, my work

68 replies

SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 15:10

I work as a nanny but I am not live in. I go into another person's home for work. Originally I had a contract with hours set hour but somewhere along the way there was a lot changed and over written.

Anyways over the past few weeks the parents have been living a high life of parties and European weekend trips away and they are constantly doing something but they are relying on me more and more to stay within their home and stay later and stay over nights.

I am usually very accommodating to their needs and to the changes that happen.

It's Friday afternoon before Christmas weekend. I had a schedule for weeks that was long and intense and they never got an over time payment. Not only that, one of the parents is home now and I though maybe I might be allowed to finish this evening by 6 or 7 pm. Nope. He had plans to go again this evening. I don't know what he said to me because I am actually in shock and taken aback by another night out.

I had a day from hell so far.

I was employed to look after their children. I had to take in their online grocery's and seat my ass off sorting out the freezer that was already full to the brim and sort out the other food stuffs. Also sort out laundry load after laundry load.

There is just no end to my working day and working week. There is also an element of pure solid cruelty involved in this. I had an accident last week and I have a wide gaping hole in my foot. My doctor recommended salt foot soaks every day. They know this. How am I supposed to manage this when I am in work for up to 12+ hours a day. If it was up to them I probably won't finish til 8 or 9 or 10 tonight. As if I do t have my own family and Christmas to prepare for.

I went above and beyond for weeks for this family and this is what they do. They plan for more. They plan to get more out of me. As if I haven't don't enough.

If it was up to them I would neglect my foot problem and allow an infection to set in. I mean like there is actually an element of torture involved in this. Any other work and I would be clocking out by now.
Not keep going.

One of there excuses for this evening is a funeral to go to. I wanted to go to funeral last week and I think they are psychopaths because they only came home at the very last minute to allowe to go away late and by the time I was free it was too late to attent the funeral according to the time. I was forced into missing a funeral because I was working.

I just think they could shave some of their stuff off their schedule and reduce my load.

Also there is a child in the family with special needs and that child is never brought anywhere as if the child has been rejected by the parents. That child sees more of minders and carers than its parents and I just think it's so wrong.

OP posts:
TheWayTheLightFalls · 22/12/2023 15:14

You have a contract. Read back what you have agreed to, and stick to it. And take illness leave if you are injured.

They sound like they are taking considerable liberties, and you may be better off seeking a new job in 2024.

gwenneh · 22/12/2023 15:14

You have a contract. Remind them that your services are limited to those outlined in the contract, and then perform those services. If they want extra, and you're agreeable to extra, then you need to negotiate a fair rate for that extra.

Behave like a small business owner, not an employee.

GrazingSheep · 22/12/2023 15:18

I think you have posted about these piss takers before. The advice then was to look for another job. They will never change.

Original poster
SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 15:25

GrazingSheep · 22/12/2023 15:18

I think you have posted about these piss takers before. The advice then was to look for another job. They will never change.

No I didn't post before but thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 15:25

I am thinking about not going back in January.

OP posts:
PickledPurplePickle · 22/12/2023 15:27

You need to read your contract. You need to stick to the hours that are in that, and they need to be aware that any extras you are asked to do, it should not be expected, AND, they have to pay for it

They are taking the piss and you are letting them

Goldbar · 22/12/2023 15:29

They are hugely taking advantage of you. Your mistake was not enforcing professional boundaries to begin with. My advice would be to look for another job and give notice because they don't respect you at all and it will be hard to get the relationship back on an acceptable, mutually respectful footing given how far things have gone.

bonzaitree · 22/12/2023 15:32

SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 15:25

I am thinking about not going back in January.

If you can afford this then go for it. You shouldn’t be this upset about a job. Nanny’s in high demand!

EvilElsa · 22/12/2023 15:34

Someone with your experience will be highly sought after -I'd job hunt and hand notice in as soon as you possibly can. They won't get any better from the descriptions you've given. I've got three friends looking for good nannies at the moment!

NOTANUM · 22/12/2023 15:50

Read your contract straight away. It usually says overtime may be required from time to time, paid at an hourly rate, or one evening babysitting a week is included. They are taking the absolute biscuit here expecting unscheduled extra time for free.

The dad who is going out tonight. What would happen if you said “that wasn’t planned in advance so I will be leaving at my scheduled time”. Have you actually put your foot down?

I once interviewed a nanny whose every question to me was about how late we’d be home and how often. We thought it weird and only when she joined we learned how badly she had been treated by lawyers who were never home. They treated it like a place to sleep and pick up clean laundry.

Original poster
SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 16:04

NOTANUM · 22/12/2023 15:50

Read your contract straight away. It usually says overtime may be required from time to time, paid at an hourly rate, or one evening babysitting a week is included. They are taking the absolute biscuit here expecting unscheduled extra time for free.

The dad who is going out tonight. What would happen if you said “that wasn’t planned in advance so I will be leaving at my scheduled time”. Have you actually put your foot down?

I once interviewed a nanny whose every question to me was about how late we’d be home and how often. We thought it weird and only when she joined we learned how badly she had been treated by lawyers who were never home. They treated it like a place to sleep and pick up clean laundry.

My contract states this exactly that extras are required and weekends, late nights etc.

But I was led to believer that it was only going to be once in a while like once or twice a month. Now it's nearly every week.

I was working 60/70 hours a week since the end of November.

I am just so tired now. There's no appropriate rest or time off.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 16:06

I tired to get Monday and Tuesday off this week as sick days because I am genuinely sick but I was ordered to go into work but they are not available and not around and so there is no-one for the children.

I had to go into work sick.

I thought once for this evening and the Friday before Christmas that they might just let me have an evening to myself.

OP posts:
Bernieee · 22/12/2023 16:08

To be honest they sound cruel and exploitative. BUT they sound like they’re getting away with it because you’re not speaking up. If you have a contract, then enforce it when they try and take advantage. Take sick leave if injured!

I hope you’re paying you your overtime.Definitely get a new job in the new year but absolutely do not do any extra childcare if you don’t want to

Bernieee · 22/12/2023 16:11

what days are you scheduled off? And hours do you stop working? Do they have to give you notice for when they want extra childcare?

Finteq · 22/12/2023 16:12

SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 16:06

I tired to get Monday and Tuesday off this week as sick days because I am genuinely sick but I was ordered to go into work but they are not available and not around and so there is no-one for the children.

I had to go into work sick.

I thought once for this evening and the Friday before Christmas that they might just let me have an evening to myself.

You are sick.

Tell them you are sick.

And if they order you in, you cant make it- if there is no one to take care of the kid they will just have to cancel.their plans.

You are sick and can't make it in, there isn't anything you can do.

Pumpkindoodles · 22/12/2023 16:13

Why did you take a contract that said they could make you work as many hours as they wanted, with no warning, and no extra pay? Surely you negotiate, or refuse that sort of contract unless the pay is exceptional?
Or you accept it and then just start saying no when they’re taking the piss? I don’t understand why you’re not saying no?

you’re saying things like I had to go in sick because they ordered me. But you didn’t? You can say no?
Unless you’re the children’s parent you don’t need to look after the children 24/7

suncravings · 22/12/2023 16:14

You need to look for a new job, but for the time being you need to read your contract, not go above and beyond as they’re not thankful for it and if you’re sick, take the sick day (and follow up with a text or email so you have proof in writing, as we just discussed I am too I’ll to come in etc)

aSwarmOfMidgies · 22/12/2023 16:15

Just go home ill now - you sound it to me

And tell them you will let them know when you are well enough to work not the other way around

Pull your socks up

Bernieee · 22/12/2023 16:17

Pumpkindoodles · 22/12/2023 16:13

Why did you take a contract that said they could make you work as many hours as they wanted, with no warning, and no extra pay? Surely you negotiate, or refuse that sort of contract unless the pay is exceptional?
Or you accept it and then just start saying no when they’re taking the piss? I don’t understand why you’re not saying no?

you’re saying things like I had to go in sick because they ordered me. But you didn’t? You can say no?
Unless you’re the children’s parent you don’t need to look after the children 24/7

Is a contract like that even legal?

heldinadream · 22/12/2023 16:18

Please just go home and hand the children over to THEIR PARENTS.
This is terrible. You must be shattered. They are using your good nature.

DRS1970 · 22/12/2023 16:18

Your employer sound like selfish arseholes, and they are severely taking advantage of you. Stick to the contract, or leave, I find it hard to imagine they will improve their ways.

NoWordForFluffy · 22/12/2023 16:19

SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 16:04

My contract states this exactly that extras are required and weekends, late nights etc.

But I was led to believer that it was only going to be once in a while like once or twice a month. Now it's nearly every week.

I was working 60/70 hours a week since the end of November.

I am just so tired now. There's no appropriate rest or time off.

Show quote history

With all the hours you're doing, with no overtime, what's your hourly rate of pay right now? If it drops below minimum wage they're breaking the law.

Also, have you opted out of the Working Time Regs? What's the average hours you've worked over the last 13 weeks?

You either need to row back and enforce your contract, or you need to leave.

Heyhoherewegoagain · 22/12/2023 16:22

SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 16:06

I tired to get Monday and Tuesday off this week as sick days because I am genuinely sick but I was ordered to go into work but they are not available and not around and so there is no-one for the children.

I had to go into work sick.

I thought once for this evening and the Friday before Christmas that they might just let me have an evening to myself.

And if you hadn’t gone into work, they’d have had to sort it. Ok you’d probably get grief for it, but would that be so much worse than what you have just now?

Dearover · 22/12/2023 16:23

Are they paying you for all of these additional hours? You need to check that you are being paid above NMW, if not, call HMRC or report them online.

EbbandTheWanderingHearts · 22/12/2023 16:25

Did you get your job through an agency? If so, ring them ASAP and get them on side. In the meantime, stand up for yourself. Tell your boss that you can not stay past your allocated hours and in future you need 48hrs notice for overtime and it must be mutually agreed.