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Original poster

Oh my god, my work

68 replies

SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 15:10

I work as a nanny but I am not live in. I go into another person's home for work. Originally I had a contract with hours set hour but somewhere along the way there was a lot changed and over written.

Anyways over the past few weeks the parents have been living a high life of parties and European weekend trips away and they are constantly doing something but they are relying on me more and more to stay within their home and stay later and stay over nights.

I am usually very accommodating to their needs and to the changes that happen.

It's Friday afternoon before Christmas weekend. I had a schedule for weeks that was long and intense and they never got an over time payment. Not only that, one of the parents is home now and I though maybe I might be allowed to finish this evening by 6 or 7 pm. Nope. He had plans to go again this evening. I don't know what he said to me because I am actually in shock and taken aback by another night out.

I had a day from hell so far.

I was employed to look after their children. I had to take in their online grocery's and seat my ass off sorting out the freezer that was already full to the brim and sort out the other food stuffs. Also sort out laundry load after laundry load.

There is just no end to my working day and working week. There is also an element of pure solid cruelty involved in this. I had an accident last week and I have a wide gaping hole in my foot. My doctor recommended salt foot soaks every day. They know this. How am I supposed to manage this when I am in work for up to 12+ hours a day. If it was up to them I probably won't finish til 8 or 9 or 10 tonight. As if I do t have my own family and Christmas to prepare for.

I went above and beyond for weeks for this family and this is what they do. They plan for more. They plan to get more out of me. As if I haven't don't enough.

If it was up to them I would neglect my foot problem and allow an infection to set in. I mean like there is actually an element of torture involved in this. Any other work and I would be clocking out by now.
Not keep going.

One of there excuses for this evening is a funeral to go to. I wanted to go to funeral last week and I think they are psychopaths because they only came home at the very last minute to allowe to go away late and by the time I was free it was too late to attent the funeral according to the time. I was forced into missing a funeral because I was working.

I just think they could shave some of their stuff off their schedule and reduce my load.

Also there is a child in the family with special needs and that child is never brought anywhere as if the child has been rejected by the parents. That child sees more of minders and carers than its parents and I just think it's so wrong.

OP posts:
Squeaky2023 · 22/12/2023 16:26

Before you quit or do one more extra hour for them, total up your overtime hours worked and ask for payment. If they don't transfer the money immediately tell them that you cannot work any more extra hours due to this lack of payment.
Then take some time off sick. 7 days self-certified and then Drs Note for two more weeks to get that foot better, rest up and look for another job.
Please stand up for yourself.

wutheringkites · 22/12/2023 16:26

How much are you paid per hour? If you're working 70 hours a week, they may be paying you below National Minimum Wage. HMRC take that really seriously. If you think you have been underpaid, report it and leave.

MargotBamborough · 22/12/2023 16:27

If you can afford to quit without another job lined up then do so.

Otherwise, look for another job ASAP.

TornIntoPieces · 22/12/2023 16:28

In addition to what everyone else is saying, if you have concerns about one of the children with SEND, I'd be making a referral to Children Social Care.

TinkerTiger · 22/12/2023 16:29

Why haven't you told them about the hours missing from your payslip?

I'm a nanny, many families aren't like this. Leave.

sunlover1123 · 22/12/2023 16:41

SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 15:10

I work as a nanny but I am not live in. I go into another person's home for work. Originally I had a contract with hours set hour but somewhere along the way there was a lot changed and over written.

Anyways over the past few weeks the parents have been living a high life of parties and European weekend trips away and they are constantly doing something but they are relying on me more and more to stay within their home and stay later and stay over nights.

I am usually very accommodating to their needs and to the changes that happen.

It's Friday afternoon before Christmas weekend. I had a schedule for weeks that was long and intense and they never got an over time payment. Not only that, one of the parents is home now and I though maybe I might be allowed to finish this evening by 6 or 7 pm. Nope. He had plans to go again this evening. I don't know what he said to me because I am actually in shock and taken aback by another night out.

I had a day from hell so far.

I was employed to look after their children. I had to take in their online grocery's and seat my ass off sorting out the freezer that was already full to the brim and sort out the other food stuffs. Also sort out laundry load after laundry load.

There is just no end to my working day and working week. There is also an element of pure solid cruelty involved in this. I had an accident last week and I have a wide gaping hole in my foot. My doctor recommended salt foot soaks every day. They know this. How am I supposed to manage this when I am in work for up to 12+ hours a day. If it was up to them I probably won't finish til 8 or 9 or 10 tonight. As if I do t have my own family and Christmas to prepare for.

I went above and beyond for weeks for this family and this is what they do. They plan for more. They plan to get more out of me. As if I haven't don't enough.

If it was up to them I would neglect my foot problem and allow an infection to set in. I mean like there is actually an element of torture involved in this. Any other work and I would be clocking out by now.
Not keep going.

One of there excuses for this evening is a funeral to go to. I wanted to go to funeral last week and I think they are psychopaths because they only came home at the very last minute to allowe to go away late and by the time I was free it was too late to attent the funeral according to the time. I was forced into missing a funeral because I was working.

I just think they could shave some of their stuff off their schedule and reduce my load.

Also there is a child in the family with special needs and that child is never brought anywhere as if the child has been rejected by the parents. That child sees more of minders and carers than its parents and I just think it's so wrong.

I'm sorry this is happening. Have you been a nanny before or is this your first job as one?

As much as they sound awful the issue lies with you not enforcing your contract.

Arrange a meeting for Jan and sit them down to be clear about your role. For example - I do one load a washing a day or I don't do evenings full stop unless agreed with 24 hours notice etc, whatever works for you.?be clear about extra payments and then send your invoice in... the sooner the better :)

You need to realise your worth, if you don't this problem will keep happening and follow you around to other jobs.

Is there a reason you don't feel you can stand up to them and for yourself?

Hope it gets better and do let us know how you get on.

commonsense61 · 22/12/2023 16:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster
SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 17:37

All I want to do is just finish my days work/my weeks work and just go home.

OP posts:
aSwarmOfMidgies · 22/12/2023 17:47

We have told you

You are not well so you are going home now

Just do it

Terrribletwos · 22/12/2023 17:49

SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 17:37

All I want to do is just finish my days work/my weeks work and just go home.

Well that's what you must do. But I fear it is too late now to make any change as they have already taken advantage and it would be difficult to turn around now considering the "contract". I would just leave and seek employment elsewhere. Do you work through an agency?

Original poster
SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 17:56

I feel like I am being absolutely gaslit.

The father walked out so casually at about 3.45 pm today telikngnme he won't be long.

He mentioned earlier in the day about driving X to A place. Then going to place B and then stopping off at a shop for batteries.

I used Google maps and gave a rough estimate of times for driving and traffic stopping at a shop and all in all in all it would take about 2 and half hours. I'd be lucky if he's home by 7 or 8 tonight. It doesn't take that many fucking hours to do what he has to do. I am absolutely being gaslit.

Imagine if I told them some morning that I am running late and I need to go to the shop and then I will go to work and then take hours for going to the shops. It doesn't take this amount of time and they are treating me for a fool.

I am utterly disgusted. They have a special needs child that they will not spend time with and they dump that child onto me and any one else and I am heartbroken because she's gorgeous and she's really not that difficult.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpaceNoll · 22/12/2023 17:57

Terrribletwos · 22/12/2023 17:49

Well that's what you must do. But I fear it is too late now to make any change as they have already taken advantage and it would be difficult to turn around now considering the "contract". I would just leave and seek employment elsewhere. Do you work through an agency?

Show quote history

No I don't work through an agency.

OP posts:
Grimpo · 22/12/2023 17:57

Start job hunting now. You won't have trouble finding a better alternative - but next time round, make sure that your contract defines your hours and pay properly.

Hatty65 · 22/12/2023 18:03

Did you just want a moan, OP? Because you've had plenty of excellent advice on how to stop this. But you've ignored every response so far and just keep repeating how tired you are and how terrible it all is.

Stop being so passive and do something about it.

Caterina99 · 22/12/2023 18:06

I’d start looking for a new job. These people will never improve. Nannies are in hot demand so hopefully you will find a lovely appreciative family soon

Or if you actually want to stay, then tell them what hours you work and what overtime they owe you and how they can make things better

redsky21 · 22/12/2023 18:09

Just leave. The minute one of them gets home. And tell them why, in a text after you've gone if you can't say it to their faces. No job is worth this and they need to know they can't treat people like this.

MaggieFS · 22/12/2023 18:14

Stuff it. Tell them you're using all of the unpaid overtime you've done in lieu of notice and you won't be back.

MILTOBE · 22/12/2023 18:17

MaggieFS · 22/12/2023 18:14

Stuff it. Tell them you're using all of the unpaid overtime you've done in lieu of notice and you won't be back.

That's what I would do, too. Horrible people and awful parents.

sunglassesonthetable · 22/12/2023 18:17

*Did you just want a moan, OP? Because you've had plenty of excellent advice on how to stop this. But you've ignored every response so far and just keep repeating how tired you are and how terrible it all is.

Stop being so passive and do something about it.*

Oh stop it. OP literally posted first at 3.10. And yeah I bet she did want a moan.

Also outside of MN we ALL know it's not so easy " just to do something about it " in a flash.

Nicole1111 · 22/12/2023 18:18

Give them notice now. Tell them you can’t won’t work with no structure, last minute unagreed working hours and an outright refusal to allow sick or compassionate leave. Give the minimum amount of notice you’re allowed to.

captainsudoku · 22/12/2023 18:20

Have you been given jobs to do until he gets back? If the child is in bed, get ready to walk out the door the minute he gets back. Do not lift a finger in the house to help the parents out from now on.

You are underpaid, overworked, sick, injured, and tired and they know this and they are taking advantage of you.

Lucy377 · 22/12/2023 18:22

"they might just let me have an evening to myself."

But you are not asking them, or telling them you are not available.

You continue to make yourself available and and say nothing from what I can gather.

If you weren't available they'd have to find other evening babysitting arrangements.

If you keep enabling the current situation nothing will change.

But as far as they are aware, you are available and are very flexible and willing with your time.

sunglassesonthetable · 22/12/2023 18:24

They are totally taking advantage of you. The more you give, the more they take. They are totally thoughtless.

I don't even think they have thought about your foot, the probably don't remember. You say yes to staying later etc and that's it, that's all they care about.

They are totally exploiting your good will.

LEAVE

Bernieee · 22/12/2023 18:25

You’re getting a lot of advice here but the question is are you going to take the advice?

sunglassesonthetable · 22/12/2023 18:26

"they might just let me have an evening to myself."

No. They wouldn't even think of it. It wouldn't occur to them.