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Original poster

Which enclosure would you pick....

73 replies

ApocalypseNowt · 22/12/2023 10:03

Stolen off a podcast but thought it's a fun question to ponder!

You are at Chester zoo.

You have to pick one animal enclosure to stand in. The animals in that enclosure will not attack you.

BUT all the animals from the other enclosures are going to try and kill you. The animals in your chosen enclosure will actively try and defend you.

Where are you standing...?

Granted pretty much every scenario will result in your death but which do you think would give you the best shot at survival (or where would you survive the longest)?

I think I'd go for the elephants. I can hide behind them and they're big enough to take on predators and have nice big Stampy feet to deal with any murderous capybaras for example! Grin

OP posts:
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Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 22/12/2023 10:05

Scorpions ( the whole pack, though, not just one).

LittleGreenDragons · 22/12/2023 10:07

Meerkats. They are vicious little buggers and very tenacious. Lots of them and small enough to scare OPs elephants and eat pp scorpions. Soz.

Original poster
ApocalypseNowt · 22/12/2023 10:12

LittleGreenDragons · 22/12/2023 10:07

Meerkats. They are vicious little buggers and very tenacious. Lots of them and small enough to scare OPs elephants and eat pp scorpions. Soz.

Edited

Are meercats good climbers? I could ride my least skittish elephant maybe...

OP posts:
ChateauDuMont · 22/12/2023 10:16

In with the Sun bears.

MahShinyShoes · 22/12/2023 10:17

Lions, obvs!

FloofCloud · 22/12/2023 10:19

Tigers - they put up with no shit from ANYONE!

sockarefootwear · 22/12/2023 10:23

Hmm. I'm torn. How long will we be standing in the chosen enclosure?

If it's only for a day or so I'll go in with the lions. I'm sure they could see off most predators or at least keep them at bay for longer than most other animals. However, their enclosure is outdoors so I could die of exposure in the winter and (particularly as a vegetarian) their food would not be easy to digest for me so if it's a longer term thing I'd just starve to death. So if it's a longer term thing I'll go in with the great apes. The large ones could do a decent job at protecting me, I could eat their food and they have a nice indoor section to keep me out of the elements if need be.

Original poster
ApocalypseNowt · 22/12/2023 10:27

Let's say you have to stay there for 48 hours. Sandwiches, drink & snacks will be provided.

OP posts:
JamieKnows · 22/12/2023 10:32

Hmm, I need a map of Chester zoo before I can answer this. Whoever chose scorpions is fucked though so not them.

LightSpeeds · 22/12/2023 10:37

ApocalypseNowt · 22/12/2023 10:27

Let's say you have to stay there for 48 hours. Sandwiches, drink & snacks will be provided.

😂 That's alright then 😂

BloodandGlitter · 22/12/2023 10:53

Hippos, greatest bite force of any animal, responsible for the most human deaths caused by animals each year and absolute arseholes so no one wants to mess with them.

WellOwlBeDamned · 22/12/2023 11:00

Any of the cat enclosures

even the smaller ones

mightn’t survive quite as long as with say a rhino or something

but I’d just feel more at home

and fulfil a childhood dream

Original poster
ApocalypseNowt · 22/12/2023 11:02

WellOwlBeDamned · 22/12/2023 11:00

Any of the cat enclosures

even the smaller ones

mightn’t survive quite as long as with say a rhino or something

but I’d just feel more at home

and fulfil a childhood dream

I love that you saw this as an opportunity to hang out with cats! 😂

OP posts:
meow1989 · 22/12/2023 11:05

Primates are pretty brutal aren't they? Are there gorillas at Chester zoo?

Or maybe I'd go aquatic because not all of the attacking animals could swim...

I think pp who said scorpions might be on to something actually, the most venomous animal with the most quick acting venom might be a good shout...

Original poster
ApocalypseNowt · 22/12/2023 11:08

Don't think a scorpion would be able to pierce hides of animals like rhinos, elephants or hippos. They could just squish them.

My elephants are good swimmers so we could defo get at you in your penguin hideout...!

OP posts:
DaftFlerken · 22/12/2023 11:09

Polar Bears if there's a few rather than just 1. Tough on land & in water

Original poster
ApocalypseNowt · 22/12/2023 11:09

Chester have orangutans - they'd be pretty handy in a fight.

OP posts:
margotrose · 22/12/2023 11:10

Tigers.

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/12/2023 11:11

meow1989 · Today 11:05
**
Primates are pretty brutal aren't they? Are there gorillas at Chester zoo”

I think gorillas are mostly show? Chimps are brutal buggers, though.

Polar Bear for me.

BigBoysDontCry · 22/12/2023 11:20

I think you'd be most likely to be killed by a polar bear so I'd choose those to simply eliminate the worst predator and they'd also be good defensively. Also big and fluffy while you are waiting to die.

minipie · 22/12/2023 11:24

I would say tiger except they’re usually on their own in zoos and lions are in groups… I reckon a whole gang of lions would see off a tiger if they were trying. Same for polar bears. So, lions.

Or maybe elephants but I’d worry they might stomp me by accident. And all that poo…

WellOwlBeDamned · 22/12/2023 11:33

ApocalypseNowt · 22/12/2023 11:08

Don't think a scorpion would be able to pierce hides of animals like rhinos, elephants or hippos. They could just squish them.

My elephants are good swimmers so we could defo get at you in your penguin hideout...!

And the elephants come with their own snorkel for sneak attacks

NuffSaidSam · 22/12/2023 11:38

I'm with you OP, it has to be elephants.

Are the other animals attacking one by one or all at once? I think Elephants could see off a pack of lions, but lions and polar bears and scorpions all at once...?

Original poster
ApocalypseNowt · 22/12/2023 11:46

They'll mostly be taking turns at attacking you, one enclosure at a time.

OP posts:
IrresponsiblyCertainAboutSexualDimorphism · 22/12/2023 12:04

Tigers or elephants. There are four tigers at the moment - parents and two almost grown cubs. They are very, very fast. The elephants are mostly female so without tusks, but look fearsome nonetheless.

Or the poison dart tree frogs, maybe.

The lions are elderly pussycats. I wouldn’t like to be on their bad side, but I don’t think they’d go near the tigers or the elephants.

Chimps are terrifying IMO, so maybe they are a good choice?

No hippos or polar bears on site unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on whose side they are on).