Anyone had an academic child go down the trades / vocational path?

[rickyrickygrimes]

To not drip feed, we are in France, not the UK.

Here, students generally split between academic and vocational studies at 15. Lycée general is for the more academic, lycée pro is for the more vocational.

DS has always been academic-ish. He's bright, works hard (when he wants to). He goes to one of the best (read most high scoring and academic) lycée general in the country: it just happens to be his catchment lycée so he's got the right to go there anyway, but he does get the marks too.

Increasingly he tells us he doesn't want to go to uni, to do anything academic, he doesn't want to study for umpteen years. he says that he wants to train in a trade, to start earning (lots) of money asap, have his own business - though having said that he doesn't know anyone who has done this. All our family are university educated / professionals. Do any of you have experience of children choosing to go down a vocational route when they could have gone to Uni? How did you feel about it? Are they bored? Do they regret it?

I can't work out my reaction. I can sense my mum clutching her pearls at the very thought of her wonderful, clever, grandson becoming a plumber - and I am doing the same, a bit. It's not my finest moment.

Your reaction is normal, but let him choose himself. I went to an extremely high achieving grammar (Pates). Got AAA (before stars existed). Turned down Oxford to go somewhere I preferred . Parents let me decide for which I’m grateful. DS is clever but hated school , so bright but not a natural studier. He insisted on leaving at 16 to do an electrical apprenticeship. He’s flying! Loves the camaraderie, burns off his excess energy with long days on site, is learning loads. He plans to qualify, work for a company for a few years, set up on his own and then manage an electrical contracts company of his own. It’s a secure route and no doubt he’ll be great . He’s confident and business minded. Your child is not a possession, something I had to grit my teeth and learn to understand. Just because no one else in your family did this is not relevant. Please just relax and give him the freedom to choose his own path in life. I know it’s hard x

Is there not a vocational route he could take after finishing his bac general? (Apols for not being able to do accents) I.e an 18+ technical college? I think it’s a valid concern if uni wouldn’t be a possibility later, which it would be in most cases in the UK

i think I would encourage to do the Bac general even if he doesn’t want to go to uni.

I have an academic one who has chosen to follow an interest rather than the University route. It was a bit of a shock because he'll be the first non graduate man in my family since 18-something! But he's working, happy and fulfilled. Which is all we can wish for. Very few people go to work smiling every day.

Mine has. Never wanted to do Alevels but got goid gcses on minimal effort
So far so good and they can always choose to do something more academic later in life, they'll be working 50+ years. Maybe he could consider something like engineering where there more scope to advance and branch out rather than say a bricklayer.

Learning a trade is a skill for life.

One can attend university or pursue more academic routes at any time.

I so so so so so wish I had learned a valuable trade at 18 instead of going to university to pursue an arts degree and then an MSc.

I could have done all that later. University is not really the only if even the best route to success.

Support your child's choices. Nothing is forever and as long as they're not wasting time doing nothing, it's all building blocks.

nice to see snobbery alive & kicking 🙄
My dad’s best make is a plumber, sold his business for £145 million a couple of years ago. Don’t think he regrets not going to uni.

Lycée Pro isn't great - underachieving kids and a lot of disciplinary issues. If he's smart and practical, he might like to study engineering: he can stay in theLlycée genérale and choose science specialities. The filière Section Européenne is prestigious and he'd presumably be top of the class in DNL science classes, which are taught in English.

Friend with a very bright child, his passion is horse racing, has just got the first stage of his licence and will be training as a professional jockey as soon as he turns 16.

Another friend whose child is very intelligent but hated school. He's done a full electrician's apprenticeship from 16, and now at 24 has set up his own business and has bought a house with his girlfriend. He's just installed our car charger. Lovely lovely chap and so happy to see him doing well. I think working as an electrician is a particularly good option imo - such an incredible variety of work. He's moving into solar panels etc as well.

Some of the best paid people are trades. If his self employed he can work when he wants as much or little as he likes.

Loads of things will be outsourced or AI in the future. Your electricians and plumbers and brikkies and plasterers and whatnot can’t be it’s just not possible. Your engineers building and making things will always be required.

A trade is basically a job for life. I’d much rather my child be a sparky then a Hr bod.

i mean some university degrees are just a bit of status are they not ? i mean a history of Art is lovely and maybe fits into your social standing but not much use really.

One of my sons is a plumber. He says 'remember where you may have to put your hands'.

As someone married to a man who spent the first 20 years of his live in jobs and unhappy because he was doing what his parents wanted him to do, please support your children to do what they want to do. DH has recently retrained and is now happier than he's ever been.

His parents still don't support his career change which hurts DH deeply. He's learning now not to care. I will continue to do nothing but encourage him to keep following his heart.

I'm also not saying you shouldn't encourage them to be realistic but if their job will enable them to fund their own lives and it's what they want, you shouldn't want for anything else.

I’ve met my people. DS has a space at university but has deferred for the last two years so I now know he’s not going to go. it took me a good year to get my head around it he’s actually working in IT doing really well he’s on his second job getting lots of experience and more importantly, not having any of the debts that he might do otherwise. The only thing I’ve he’s possibly missing out on is the social life but it’s his life, he’s leading not mine I think unless university is absolutely right for them they shouldn’t go. They can always go at a later stage. It’s us as the parents that have to get our heads round. This is a new way of thinking for our generation

@Brexile that’s basically what he’s doing - maths and computer science spé, and doing fine on them. His lycée is one of the top science prépa in the country, and this is where the school will push them towards - top engineering and business schools. But DS just sees it as more and more years of highly competitive exams / study, and TBF he’s not wrong.

i suspect the gap between the academic / vocational options is much bigger in France than in the UK 🤷‍♀️

Also it’s not as easy here to change careers and try something else, you always need to right qualifications and you can really only achieve these qualifications at certain stages in your life. It’s not like going back to college to do extra A levels at a later stage, doesn’t really exist. Even gap years are practically unknown here.

You could be writing about my DS.

I was the same though, I remember telling my mum at the end of my A-levels that I'd decided not to go to uni and instead get a job, she was devastated because back in the late 90s going to uni was a big thing.

I ended up finding a career that I love and studied while working. By the time I was 21 I was earning in the higher rate tax band (a big thing in the early 00s in the north of England!).

I now have a 6 figure salary and absolutely love what I do - which is worth more than any money.

My motto is "find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life".

If you do a job you love the passion shows through and the career progression comes easier IMO

Your focus is wrong, OP. You are too focused on what others think and how his choice looks to them. Why are you judging your son on such fickle criteria?

I am German and educated there so for me uni is not the all-best as I went the apprenticeship route and now do a job and a salary you would expect a uni degree for.

I could have gone to uni with my grades but didn't want the costs of student loans and didn't really enjoyed academics that much.

I did my apprenticeship degree in banking, worked and then did a 2 year degree to push me further. Several of my colleagues did an economics/finance degree later as well.
Yes, good luck and opportunities definitely helped but it's also about enjoying what you do.

I would always encourange my DD to do what they want in life as long as there is a decent basis you can build on.

I would say there is nothing wrong with vocational but if he wants to be a business owner, I would say him getting some form of business course combined to what he wants for a job is a decent basis.

@rickyrickygrimes
I'm also in France.
As you have had such an academic education it must be difficult (I worked in the arts and wished I'd studied something as well as that)
Could he return to the UK to study as there could be more options for him.
There is a lot of snobbery here and some of those 'naice' people aren't very, if you know what I mean.

DS was very academic at school, but tended to be lazy. He decided to take up a trade, which we were not too happy about but it was his life. He became a tiler, absolutely loves it and now has his own business with 12 employees. He bought his own house before he was out of his 20's. Now very financially secure and his family has the best of everything.

I was the academic child who went off to university and then got into various graduate level jobs that made me really unhappy. I’ve now retrained as a sports massage therapist and I’m so much happier doing this. It’s just the right amount of academic challenge without the pressure of the jobs I was doing before.

Listen to them, they can always change tack later on in life if they want to.

I did an apprenticeship despite A grades because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, later used the apprenticeship to become a chartered surveyor.

DF was an electrician but moved into a specialist area and set up his own engineering business that is very successful. If your son is smart there is no reason that he couldn’t do something like this!

Dh started a very good degree at a very good uni. He hated all of it and left, never came close to graduating. Did a bit of shop/call centre etc work then started on factory shop floor working on small, precision items. Progressed, moved around, got into management and is now in a senior management position at a car parts manufacturer earning very good money.

Out of all our friendship group who went of to uni he is the one without a degree and in the most senior position.

My children aren't old enough yet to decide what path to go down but two people in my vocational school class have come to vocational school straight from finishing academic high school so have decided to switch from the academic path to the vocational route and I can see why - going down the University route means years of education before any chance of a decent job, and the chances aren't great these days, whereas vocational school (in my field) is a year of studies, a few months of work placement, and then a good chance of a decent job with decent pay. If someone is fed up of academia I would not blame them for switching to the vocational route (though in my field there's still a fair bit of academic stuff).