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Original poster

Do you think working in the same school as your children can cause a negative affect on them

53 replies

Mickeyfish · 21/12/2023 20:53

As in terms of bullying/being treated differently/singling out /any negative behaviour

OP posts:

Happiestathome · 21/12/2023 20:59

I would say it depends on quite a few things - your role in the school, whether it’s primary or secondary, your level of involvement with them or their friends, if they are ok with you being there.

LolaSmiles · 21/12/2023 21:01

It depends on the school, the member of staff, their role and the children in my experience.

Secondary school where the parent is one teacher within a bigger department and they're generally a fair teacher, tends not to be a problem. Much less of an issue in my experience where the parent has a support staff role (eg year manager, TA, admin, exams officer) so is less likely to have situations where they've had to balance being friend's parent and being teacher. My friends who've had children in the school have always been keen for their children to not be treated differently, so no passing updates in the corridor or feeding information back to them

springbabydays · 21/12/2023 21:03

Most of the staff at our school seem to have their own kids there.

It's a two class intake so it's not an issue keeping them separate from their teacher parents.

PuttingDownRoots · 21/12/2023 21:04

Other patents can be an issue. If they win something... its nepotism. Or you make them ineligible for an award... its not exactly fair either.

Thecomfortador · 21/12/2023 21:06

My dad was my teacher for a year in primary, and was always working there when I was there. I don't remember any negative effects. He was just my teacher, don't think he favoured me over anyone either. Mum didn't get any nasty surprises at parents evening at least.

Mplpurple · 21/12/2023 21:06

It doesn't seem to be at my DCs school. 3 staff member's children in one of their classes. Same 3 children get picked for everything and win the end of term prizes. Has been 6 years in a row.

Original poster

Mickeyfish · 21/12/2023 21:07

Apologies I didn't say. Im a midday assistant in a primary school where my children attend also

OP posts:

dootball · 21/12/2023 21:08

100% non issue at my school.

SugarPlumpFairy3 · 21/12/2023 21:08

Personally, not for us. All 3 of my children have been through the school I’m a teacher at and it’s never been an issue.

I do think it’s a situation that requires some managing though. For example, I keep my two roles as separate as possible. I don’t expect their teachers to have informal chats with me and I make an appointment if I need to speak to them. Similarly, I would expect them to contact me/request to see me if they needed to speak to me, rather than informal chats around school.

I have never expected me children to be treated more or less favourably-none of them have ever been Mary/Joseph, for example. Equally, they are chosen for roles and responsibilities in line with other pupils, as I would hope.

They absolutely are not ‘let off’ and have the same consequences as others if they misbehave (yes, I’ve had a phone call from the headteacher when ds misbehaved 🙈).

I behave as much as a regular parent as possible. I queue for for the front row nativity seats with everyone else and wouldn’t dream of reserving them.

They’ve never been bullied or had any issues with other children. They've had the same run ins and friendship issues as other children - other pupils certainly don’t seem to treat them any differently in that respect.

garlictwist · 21/12/2023 21:10

It did for my friend. Her mum was the PE teacher and everyone hated her.

TheWitche · 21/12/2023 21:10

Majority of the TA’s / kitchen staff have kids at my child’s primary school. One teacher taught their child last year (so bizarre to me why it was allowed). I don’t think they should be in the class but can’t really see the issue with it in the school.

Oxborn · 21/12/2023 21:13

I worked in primary where my children also went and the only issue I had is when my son misbehaved they came to me all the time and didn’t try handling the problem themselves

ShippingNews · 21/12/2023 21:13

My BIL was a head teacher at several small rural schools, and his two kids were pupils there . There was never any problem, he made sure to avoid showing anything resembling favoritism of course.

MamaGhina · 21/12/2023 21:14

Yes.
Also if there’s an issue with your child, you’re in a conflicted position. How hard would you fight for your child against your employer?

familyissues12345 · 21/12/2023 21:17

I personally think that if it's secondary school then the children's thoughts should be taken into consideration. I know my sons would be mortified!

switswoo81 · 21/12/2023 21:18

I'm deputy principal/teacher and my two children go to my school. I taught there for 15 years before they started and was well established.
One has autism so that has been hard when they were distressed or I could see a situation that wouldn't suit. However on the flip side I can see how cared for they are during the day. And information I provide is used by their sna to support their needs.
Neither have got extra attention (all the teachers send their kids there so it's not a novelty). And they have certainly never received prizes etc but generally we do very little of that.
I taught one in infants and it was also fine.

charliecoopershair · 21/12/2023 21:36

I was a child in this situation and I hated it. I suspect the adults would all have congratulated themselves on a job well done and there were no incidents or obvious issues but for me it was torture. It affected all of my friendships.

watchoutthewheels · 21/12/2023 21:56

I was also the child at secondary in this situation and it was awful. Both my parents taught there (large regional school) DM was well-liked but DF more senior was not so many teachers treated me differently and other kids were brutal at times.

Lizzyinatizzy · 21/12/2023 21:57

Sample size of 3 but my 2 best friends and I had parents working at our school. 1 was a TA, 1 was a teacher and 1 was the head teacher. We all survived with no drama.

BananaSplitsss · 21/12/2023 22:01

Mplpurple · 21/12/2023 21:06

It doesn't seem to be at my DCs school. 3 staff member's children in one of their classes. Same 3 children get picked for everything and win the end of term prizes. Has been 6 years in a row.

Ours too. Teachers / admin staffs kid have got head girl/ boy.
I find it’s the PTA kids who get everything. Not to mention their parents- who think they’re somehow superior to the rest of us.

wellywallabies · 21/12/2023 22:02

It really worked for us in primary school. There were quite a few children with parents working at the school, so it wasn't anything unusual. Also nice to spend a little bit more time with them- mine played in my room in the morning and after school.

I am not sure about secondary, but that's maybe because we did it in primary school- I felt they did need more independence.

lilsupersparks · 21/12/2023 22:07

My kids quite like it. We have different surnames - although it’s not a secret, it’s not exactly public knowledge either!

tiggergoesbounce · 21/12/2023 22:09

I dont think in primary it matters about bullying aspect as im not sure the kids take that much interest. And your child will probably stay away in juniors and just want to be with their mates.

I do think it depends on the child though and if they are already settled in the school and what year. If you have a child that is only just going in to reception, they may get more upset by having you there and not being able to be with you, or they may shy away from making friends if you are around and they stay/hang around you at lunch time.

You know your child though.

OfTheNight · 21/12/2023 22:13

My mum was my headteacher and I was ripped to shreds by the other kids.

Known colleagues that have tried to work with their dc at the same school, but lots of conflicting issues. Those parents are not treated as the non teaching parents are etc.

Honeyandwine · 21/12/2023 22:15

As others have said, depends on your role. I think midday supervisor is fine. I'm a teacher and deliberately sent my children to the school down the road. I like to be 'mum' at their school and 'teacher' at ours. Lots of colleagues have children at ours and we have to shift year groups often to accommodate not teaching in the year group your child is in. Also find parent wattsapp groups, social events difficult to navigate and children's parties. Often kids don't want a teacher there (KS2).

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