Do you think working in the same school as your children can cause a negative affect on them

[Mickeyfish]

As in terms of bullying/being treated differently/singling out /any negative behaviour

My school friend's mum worked in our senior school and it was massively detrimental for her. Mainly because her mum openly preferred her sister (also in the school, a year younger). I recall her mum coming and begging some of us to come to my friend's party because "Mavis isn't very popular is she and I doubt anyone will come unless I tell them to...."

However there were several kids of teachers in my DD's infant and junior schools and it was never a big deal - if you live in the local area you don't really get a choice of schools so it was kind of normal really.

I worked on the same site as my
secondary age children for a couple of years, it was okay. I’m admin though rather than a teacher.

I’ve heard from my ten yr old that if the boy in his class who has a parent working at the school falls over - his parent vaults out of whatever she’s doing to comfort him. Seems a bit embarrassing, sure most parents wouldn’t do that if they worked at a school but she’s pretty ott anyway.

and another one, who joined the school literally to be closer to her child. Became almost obsessed with school life. So weird. Her daughter got no breathing space at all and has struggled now in secondary to make friends, as mum is always trying to be involved.

but those are magnifications of intense parenting styles. There are other teachers etc it works fine for. I’d say if you’re a relaxed parent with strong boundaries it would be fine.

I think it isn't ideal.

If nothing else you can see on here the resentment if a staff kid gets any play part/responsibility/award etc it's entirely because they're a staff kid not because they have deserved it.
Although most of the time I've known staff kids get absolutely nothing even when they're an obvious choice because everyone leans over backwards to not appear as though they're favouring them.
They lose both ways.

My dad worked at the secondary school where my brother went, and was constantly hearing of my brother’s misbehaviour. He thought that if he hadn’t worked at the school, the teachers wouldn’t have reported the behaviour to him at home, and thought my brother had a rough deal as a result. Dad left before I went there to work at a different school.

Personally, I think he heard so many bad reports about my brother because my brother was a twat who thought rules didn’t apply to him. He is over 60 now, and hasn’t changed.

Both my kids came through our school and it pretty much was fine . I had to teach one of them in year 11 when their teacher unexpectedly left, I asked them if it would be ok before saying yes, and it was fine, nice class, no drama. . I liked knowing their teachers and having a good handle on what was going on at their school and they didn’t get any overt bullying or unpleasantness related to my role at school.

However there were a few complications - for instance they didn't have teenage parties at our house- I couldn’t see a way I could be in charge of likely to be drunk teens that I also taught. I think that gave them a reputation for being more sensible than they wanted. Although they both did turn out to be naturally pretty sensible!

Also to try and avoid any accusations of favouritism I trod much more gently than I might have done in situations where they were having a hard time. So a very difficult child decided to pick on my youngest and if I hadn’t worked at the school I would have gone in quite hard about it . As it was I knew this child and their situation and I also didn’t want to be seen to be pulling strings . In the end I asked quietly for my child to moved away in classes they shared and tried to just keep an eye on it without making a fuss. I’m not sure that was the right decision. However on balance it was fine for them and often quite lovely for me as I got to see assemblies and plays etc. Lots of staff have their kids at our school so I think that helps normalise it too.

It was fine for my children.

No it’s bloody awful for the kid (I know of what I speak)

My dad taught me A level biology. I got an A so he must have been OK at it. I had no issues with other kids because they mostly liked my dad. He was well liked and respected and actually I think it was more of a positive than a negative being his daughter. I refused to call him sir in class and just called him dad.

See, my mum would say that about me but it really wasn't. I never felt able to tell her though.

I had 2 through secondary when l was teaching. They both liked it. I was available for problems/ money and any other stuff. Loads of staff had kids in the school, it was normal.

l wasn’t a shouty or mean teacher though. All them and their friends used to sit with me at dinner time.

If nothing else you can see on here the resentment if a staff kid gets any play part/responsibility/award etc it's entirely because they're a staff kid not because they have deserved it

This can’t happen in secondary. I was always specifically timetabled to not teach my kids.

I know this view won’t be very popular but I think it is one of the worst things you can do. It’s awfully stifling for both parties and crosses all sorts of boundaries for both.

I’m a TA in my DCs school. No
problems at all.

My son didn't get the end of year 6 maths prize, which always went to the child who scored highest in maths- and he did, because they didn't want to be accused of favouritism. Those who say that staff children always get the best parts/prizes etc aren't always correct!

It’s definitely not a positive.

As the child of two teachers I am very glad I didn't go to either of the schools they taught at.

My DM was a school cook and it didn't have a negative effect on me but there was no way I could skip classes just in case a teacher asked her "Is Troys ill? She wasn't in class today?"

Son's friend's mum was the admin in our school. He had some health issues which needed sharing with school & I really didn't feel comfortable sharing with her (as I'd heard her gossiping about other kids!!).
I think a lunchtime assistant role would be ok but not one where you need to know personal details of your child's friends (which you wouldn't have know without working in the school)

I work in an independent prep school and lots of staff have children in the school - including SLT and do teach their children for a subject sometimes but are never their form tutor.
It's not an issue as far as I have ever seen or known.

My DS goes to the boarding school where his dad is in a senior position. Before he started, we both worried that there might be issues, but there haven't been. A lot of the staff have their kids in the school so it's not unusual.

DS says he usually quite likes it. However, DH has to work very hard not to be embarrassing and occasionally fails. One day he was worried DS would be hungry for some reason and loitered outside a classroom to give him a snack 🙄Very uncool if you are 13.

In my experience it can do, yes.

I think the problem is that parents and child can have a very different perception of what’s working well. I know when my mum worked at my school it looked to work fine. I was achieving well, had friends and appeared happy. In reality it was the most stifling, controlling environment to be a teenager in. It wasn’t even that my mum did anything wrong, but I had no privacy whatsoever.

It's quite common at our primary school to have the children of support staff there.

I think it can work well if there are clearly defined boundaries. Our TAs are never in the same class or year group as their own child. If there are any incidents involving a member of staff's child, the parent always lets someone else deal with it. This also applies to lunchtime staff.

Yes, but in the long term it made no difference to me really.

My mum taught in the primary school I went to. It was a village school, everyone knew everyone. The only impact there was that I couldn’t win anything, couldn’t be a head of house, etc…cause it would be deemed nepotism. Annoying at the time, but mum explained it to me when I was in upper primary and I understood.

My dad taught at the secondary school I went to. I didn’t know anyone cause it was not the school our primary school kids moved up to. I went there cause it was better and I could travel the extra distance with my dad. I was 100% known as Mr so-and-sos daughter, rather than as my own entity but never bullied for it. Although this was a nice school, with only a small number of token trouble makers. Maybe it would have been different in a different school. I even had my dad as my teacher cause he was the only subject teacher for a class I needed for the career I now have! It was fine. He didn’t give me any advantages. And in secondary school I was finally allowed to get awards cause they were merit based from results! I did win top of the class for my dads subject and the results did have to be independently verified to make sure there was no nepotism going on. There wasn’t…it was just a small niche class (under 10 students) and it clicked with me, hence it being my career now.

In short, it will undoubtedly have some impact, but not necessarily a bad one.