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Original poster

Massive overreaction about unexpected food giftse food

86 replies

Cakedilemma · 21/12/2023 14:58

I'm not sure what I want from this really. I guess I just want to talk about it and too embarrassed to discuss with anyone IRL, apart from my husband.

I am always thinking about my weight, I calorie count and tend to get panicky before big events. This year I've been doing really well, avoided the mountains of goodies at work, cut down on food bought/planned to make. I was feeling good, my weight this morning was actually my lowest all year.

The postie knocked on my door and handed me a parcel earlier, which I wasn't expecting. It's a box of massive brownies (very fancy ones in flavours thoughtfully chosen) and I've had what I can only really describe as a meltdown. I burst into tears and couldn't get a handle on my emotions for about 15 minutes. I realise this sounds pathetic. I've planned meals over the Christmas break, and I know I will gain weight, I just am trying to be mindful so it's not as much as it might have been in previous years. I had not planned for these, they are fresh so need eating soon, and are massive. I calmed down and shared one with my husband. I thought about skipping lunch to compensate but decided that was not normal behaviour and my lunch was nutritious! I've cut out a few planned things for this evening.

I ate the flavour that appeals most, and enjoyed it. But only one of the other flavours makes me think oh yes, immediately! So I thought maybe freeze the rest? But I feel so guilty, that someone has gone to trouble to buy me something kind, and this is how I have reacted. I'm also worried that this was an extreme reaction to a minor thing. But all I can think is that I don't know the calories and that I'll probably be heavier tomorrow. I have family events dotted throughout the holidays, with leftovers I'm sure. I'm terrified. The last two years I've started January depressed (2020 I only gained a couple of lbs because it was lockdown!) I don't want to feel like that again. It's not worth it. But I know I'm closer to underweight than overweight, so why am I having such a batshit crazy reaction? I'm not worried about family events, as they're planned.

OP posts:
honeyandfizz · 21/12/2023 15:02

In the kindest way surely it because you have an eating disorder? Do you not see that? You are trying to control food & you could not control this and so your reaction was extreme. Would therapy be a possibility?

Invisimamma · 21/12/2023 15:02

I mean this kindly, this is not a normal way to react. Please seek help, it sounds like you have an eating disorder, or at least disordered eating.

You should be able to enjoy a few unplanned treats over Christmas without obsessing over it.

It's perfectly normal for weight to fluctuate a few pounds up and down each day.

redfacebigdisgrace · 21/12/2023 15:03

This is a stressful time of year for those of us with eating issues. I totally understand. I would freeze some and savour them without the feeling that you need to eat them within a certain date. I got given chocolates at work yesterday and offered them around everyone as I didn’t want to take them all home!

I think you probably need to speak to someone about your weight issues as this reaction is quite extreme. Also your planning of your eating. It’s all very controlled. Not healthy. I am similar although not so extreme. Big hugs.

Whataretheodds · 21/12/2023 15:04

The kind gift has already been achieved. They've had the pleasure of sending and you have the knowledge that this person wanted to do something nice for you.

Now you can freeze them, put them in a tight-sealedTupperware, or give them away. It won't diminish the sentiment any less.

Lightningrain · 21/12/2023 15:05

It definitely sounds like an over reaction but I think most people would struggle to eat a box of brownies while still fresh unless sharing with a group/family.

My first thought would be to freeze some of them - if they’re big I’d cut them up into smaller pieces to take out as and when I fancied one.

Caspianberg · 21/12/2023 15:06

If they are so big, just cut them in 4. Freeze them, they will be fine

BMW6 · 21/12/2023 15:08

You've developed an obsession, and it's really unhealthy. Absolutely well done for losing weight and wanting to keep it off, but you need to mind your mental health as well.

You need to stop calorie counting everything. You know by now what to avoid and what a healthy portion size is, and weigh yourself once week only.

TicTac80 · 21/12/2023 15:09

I understand where you are coming from with the worry. How about doing as others have suggested here: cut them up into small portions and then freeze them. They won't go to waste and should you/anyone in the house fancy one in the future, then it won't take long for it to be defrosted and ready to eat. x

Screwballs · 21/12/2023 15:21

I completely understand everything you've said and, year in, year out, I'm exactly the same. I panic about birthdays, holidays, Xmas, because they are all just eating events. Even now while I'm pregnant I'm still weighing myself everyday. I know it's not healthy, I don't fit into anorexic or anything else so it's hard to work on the issue, it really is control for me. I use MFP every day, I weigh in everyday, an additional pound one day is a downer, losing a pound sets me up for a good day. But I do generally eat what I want, just everything in moderation and tracked.

I don't think your reaction was extreme because I'd feel the same. But I am clearly not the right person to ask 😂

Ormally · 21/12/2023 15:21

You've done really well.
I'd cut them into 4 and freeze them. Christmas is stressful and it does manage to ramp up any anxiety in a lot of people even if you are trying to stave that off. There's usually a lot of food planning, whatever you end up doing (either because you are hosting, or not there for some time). Although I enjoy some of the food stuff, I'm usually quite 'over it' and not up for a long blowout by now.
If your brownies can keep you going, and you can share, then you might enjoy them more.

Tinkerbyebye · 21/12/2023 15:27

I think you need to seek help. It really sounds to me that you have an eating disorder, extreme counting calories, working out what you can and can’t eat so far in advance, crying if something unexpected comes up

Honestly please get help

verrymerryberry · 21/12/2023 15:46

There isn't really any help out there for this sort of thing.

Yes I get it. In contrast, I'm overweight and have had weight issues all my life. Yes I have issues with disordered eating and I get it.

Cut them into four and freeze them. Say thank you they were so lovely.

Next year factor in any unexpected gifts.

I had a similar reaction after a work event last year the boss ordered us all pizza for after work. But I had a planned dinner a few hours later and it really disturbed me.

TheGhostOfTheOpera · 21/12/2023 15:47

I say that very gently but I agree that what you’re describing is an eating disorder.
No it hasn’t turned into something could be life threatening like anorexia. But the amount of anxiety you are getting around food, the constant calorie counting, the feeling guilty, the meltdown etc… all of that is way out of a ‘normal’ reaction to food, even when you want to be careful.

Midnightgrey · 21/12/2023 15:47

There is this amazing thing that naturally thin people can do. We can throw out food. We do not have to eat it. We don't feel obliged to clear our plates. It is not better to eat food and put on weight than throwing out the said food. I'd just be feeding those brownies down the waste disposal unit. Bugger freezing cut up bits of brownies - they're fattening now and they'll be fattening if they ever get defrosted. Just because they got delivered they do not have to be eaten!

easylikeasundaymorn · 21/12/2023 15:51

The person sending them won't know how you reacted so no reason to feel guilty. I can't imagine anyone would eat a whole box of those by themselves before they went stale so it would be completely normal to freeze them. Then take them ot when you would have allocated yourself a treat anyway so no additional eating.

But I do think on a wider level this does seem like a bit of a wake up call to the fact you probably need more support of some kind for your eating issues.

Screwballs · 21/12/2023 15:53

Midnightgrey · 21/12/2023 15:47

There is this amazing thing that naturally thin people can do. We can throw out food. We do not have to eat it. We don't feel obliged to clear our plates. It is not better to eat food and put on weight than throwing out the said food. I'd just be feeding those brownies down the waste disposal unit. Bugger freezing cut up bits of brownies - they're fattening now and they'll be fattening if they ever get defrosted. Just because they got delivered they do not have to be eaten!

Yeah, this sounds no less disordered than the OP. Chucking out food to stay slim and sounding smug about it, you think that is good advice?

Namenamchange · 21/12/2023 15:59

Some have you a nice gift, that in its self is nice. You don’t have to eat them or use them, just like if someone gives you a bath set, you don’t have to use it. Stop stressing, either way them, save them or bin them. But stop
thinking about them.

FranticallyFrank · 21/12/2023 16:05

You say you’re close to underweight. Are you actually underweight? Your relationship with food sounds incredibly stressful and this incident with the brownies could be a good thing as it’s made you realise the extent of the problem. You think you’re coping but you’re not really when one unexpected event can lead to a complete breakdown.

tattygrl · 21/12/2023 16:13

Let this be the moment that made you realise you need help, OP. Your fixation on controlling your food and calorie intake is sapping the enjoyment out of your life, and limiting you. In reality, it's the bigger picture of what we eat over our lifetimes that determines health, not the specific amount of calories in a given day. This is no way to live.

honeyandfizz · 21/12/2023 16:19

Midnightgrey · 21/12/2023 15:47

There is this amazing thing that naturally thin people can do. We can throw out food. We do not have to eat it. We don't feel obliged to clear our plates. It is not better to eat food and put on weight than throwing out the said food. I'd just be feeding those brownies down the waste disposal unit. Bugger freezing cut up bits of brownies - they're fattening now and they'll be fattening if they ever get defrosted. Just because they got delivered they do not have to be eaten!

Smug, patronising and encouraging OPs obvious eating disorder. You aren't 'naturally' thin if you are throwing food away you are simply on a life long diet.

Nicole1111 · 21/12/2023 16:20

I say this with kindness but when you’re thinking of your New Year’s resolutions please make one to get therapy. You do not have a healthy relationship with food and it’s only going to get worse if left unchecked.

BingoMarieHeeler · 21/12/2023 16:23

Freeze them. Cut them into smaller portions beforehand. Unwrap and defrost one at your leisure and pleasure. Been where you are!!

Original poster
Cakedilemma · 21/12/2023 16:25

Thanks everyone for your replies.

No, I'm not underweight. I'm 5 foot 6/7 and 8.5 stone, so at the lower end but a healthy weight (I think!) I gain weight very easily though when I do try and let myself go a bit as I have no off switch with my appetite. I have read about binge eating before, but I don't think that really fits as I don't do it alone or have specific foods. It's more like if I had an unhealthy meal, I will probably then think f*ck it and eat everything in my house! Luckily I mostly have healthy stuff in but if I'm on holiday and have allowed 'treats' I can get through them and buy more. I would never do this at home though.

Thanks for the practical advice. I'm going to do as suggested as cut them into chunks and freeze. There are only 6 in the box but they're like the size you'd get for a dessert in a restaurant, rather than one you'd bake yourself.

OP posts:
Paddleboarder · 21/12/2023 16:25

Freeze some or give some away to neighbours or nearby friends. I don't worry about calories but couldn't possibly eat a whole box of brownies to myself. If they are frozen, you can just get one out every now and then to enjoy it. The odd treat is not going to be detrimental.

Janieforever · 21/12/2023 16:26

do you maybe not realise you have a serious eating disorder? Or do you know you have?

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