Massive overreaction about unexpected food giftse food

[Cakedilemma]

I'm not sure what I want from this really. I guess I just want to talk about it and too embarrassed to discuss with anyone IRL, apart from my husband.

I am always thinking about my weight, I calorie count and tend to get panicky before big events. This year I've been doing really well, avoided the mountains of goodies at work, cut down on food bought/planned to make. I was feeling good, my weight this morning was actually my lowest all year.

The postie knocked on my door and handed me a parcel earlier, which I wasn't expecting. It's a box of massive brownies (very fancy ones in flavours thoughtfully chosen) and I've had what I can only really describe as a meltdown. I burst into tears and couldn't get a handle on my emotions for about 15 minutes. I realise this sounds pathetic. I've planned meals over the Christmas break, and I know I will gain weight, I just am trying to be mindful so it's not as much as it might have been in previous years. I had not planned for these, they are fresh so need eating soon, and are massive. I calmed down and shared one with my husband. I thought about skipping lunch to compensate but decided that was not normal behaviour and my lunch was nutritious! I've cut out a few planned things for this evening.

I ate the flavour that appeals most, and enjoyed it. But only one of the other flavours makes me think oh yes, immediately! So I thought maybe freeze the rest? But I feel so guilty, that someone has gone to trouble to buy me something kind, and this is how I have reacted. I'm also worried that this was an extreme reaction to a minor thing. But all I can think is that I don't know the calories and that I'll probably be heavier tomorrow. I have family events dotted throughout the holidays, with leftovers I'm sure. I'm terrified. The last two years I've started January depressed (2020 I only gained a couple of lbs because it was lockdown!) I don't want to feel like that again. It's not worth it. But I know I'm closer to underweight than overweight, so why am I having such a batshit crazy reaction? I'm not worried about family events, as they're planned.

I do get I sound obsessed by my weight but if I weighed a stone more still looked slim, I'd be OK. It's mostly how I look, or how I think I look. I do have a healthy diet, eat lots of fruit, veg, nuts & seeds. I have a little bit of chocolate everyday.

About control, yes you're right. I was poorly for a number of years (and still am sometimes) and food massively affected my condition, so I'm sure that's a bit of it. But before I started calorie counting (lockdown) I'd never even thought about my weight before.

"i am going to try not to update my calorie app"

If you have to out this much effort into NOT tracking calories then you have an eating disorder.

Normal eating is not giving a moment's thought to the calories of a lovely gift treat. Taking it to the point where you can't even guarantee you won't track it is not.

I have a very chequered past with food - am in a good place right now and the other clue from your post is that you're at your lowest weight. That is a danger sign not a good sign!!! I know I'm in a good place mentally because I'm heavier.

At your height and weight you are definitely very slim so this amount of control is not healthy.

OK, I'm sure OP gets it, jesus.

OP, again, I completely understand how you feel, I could have written this myself. It's a stressful period of time where high calorie food is concerned, January is round the corner just focus on that and let yourself have a couple of days, or even hours off x

Thank you, Screwballs ❤️ I hope you have a good Christmas x

It's crazy how different our bodies are. I'm 5ft 7 and anything below 10 1/2 stone I look ill.

I read this thinking the brownies were from your postie... Was going to ask where you live as I'm moving next door 🤣. Why don't you invite some friends over for tea and brownies, so they get eaten and enjoyed, but you will have a smaller amount? Or cut them up and take them into work/Church? Ask a neighbour to take some off your hands? Or just fuck it and eat the lot... I know what I'd do 😆

Just throw them away if they're causing you that much worry.

Honestly, the person who sent the to you will never find out you didn't eat them. If they ask you just say 'yes, they were delicious thank you.'

No need to feel guilty about not eating them.

If people give me food I don't want and can't refuse, I don't eat it. I donate it to the food bank if I can, and put it in the food waste bin if I can't. I appreciate the kind thought and am thankful for the gift, but no one but me decides what I put in my body.

I think you really need to look for some help for disordered eating. Lots of people worry about their weight, but your need to plan ahead is excessive and extreme. The eating disorder charities should be able to help you.

Morning everyone. I've had my normal breakfast, but didn't add it to my app. I've also planned to share a cake with a family member later, the others will be frozen. Feel a lot better today. I have gone up 1.4lb since yesterday morning, but I know fluctuations etc.

Next challenge, which I'll take with you, stop weighing in daily x

I'll give it my best @Screwballs . We can do it! X

You don’t have to eat any of them just because someone has bought them. It was up to them to buy them and up to you if you want them in your body.

I thought I'd come back and update the thread as everyone was so kind to me.

So I gained half a stone at Christmas. But I'm really OK with this. I had a lot of water weight but that's come off. I'm still under 9 stone.

I have taken on board what everyone said and have stocked updating my app. I eat mostly the same food day to day (apart from dinner but that's around the same cal wise) and it was getting to the point I wouldn't allow myself a cup of (milkless!) Tea if my apple or banana had been heavier than usual. This has been really freeing. I am focusing on eating lots of fruit & veg and have been really enjoying my food.

I haven't stopped daily weighing yet, though I would like to do so once I've got back to my goal weight. I did try it but found it make me more stressed seeing a huge jump. When I'm not trying to lose, or on holiday etc, I'll stop daily weighs.

I've an event this weekend and I can feel myself getting a bit stressed about eating an unhealthy dessert, but it's nowhere near as bad as normal and I'm instead looking forward to seeing my friends.

All progress is progress, proud of you, keep it up x

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to update you... I am trying to give up weighing myself for lent and I haven't weighed myself in a week! Previously it was 3-5 times a day. I had a valentines meal on Saturday and I haven't been worried at all about weight gain! I can't believe it. I tried on some of my clothes from last summer and they all fit, in fact some fit better than then! I'm really proud of myself.

I've also started enjoying food more, trying new things and mixing it up a bit. I realised it was ridiculous to restrict healthy food because it was more calories. No one ever gained weight from eating more than they'd allocated themselves for brocolli.

Well done @Cakedilemma 👏 👏 👏

@Cakedilemma 👏👏👏👏

Well done! This was a huge step, all in the right direction.
Really proud of how far you’ve gone already.

Thank you so much @Beautiful3 and @TheGhostOfTheOpera ! Your kind words mean a lot x

Hello!

I wanted to come back to this thread and update. I've worked really hard on my relationship with food this year and I'm pleased to report some progress. I've stopped weighing everything I eat/cook with. Now only weigh things for general portion control (rice, nuts etc.) Rather than to make a note and log it. It makes cooking much quicker and easier!

I'm still weighing but not quite as obsessively as before and most importantly I am not logging it - surprisingly you forget quite quickly what it was! Progress.

The best bit is I recently went on a two week holiday and only gained 4lbs. I was able to eat extra/holiday treats without going totally overboard, I think I might be winning in my fight between all or nothing. Typically after a week I would gain at least half a stone, sometimes more. I just used to gorge and then feel terrible! This time we came home with happy memories and having eaten some really nice food, went for quality over quantity and had things we usually wouldn't.

I'm not healed, but I'm better than I was. I still get anxious about situations where the only choice is unhealthy food but I keep trying to tell myself a) these are the days life is about and b) I don't have to eat everything. I hate food waste but I also hate myself for finishing stuff I didn't want to avoid the waste. I've got an event coming up soon which involves and afternoon tea, usually I'd be so stressed but I'm OK. Not perfect, but OK.

Love this, thank you for coming back x

Well done OP, you've taken huge steps in having a much more healthy relationship with food!

I'm so pleased to hear a positive update!

Best wishes!

Gosh, that is really amazing progress. Hope that the more relaxed you is the one you are getting used to.

Hello lovely people!

Sooooo.... I've stopped weighing!! I tried getting my husband to hide them but I just found them. We still have them in the house but they are hidden in a corner of the attic that I can't really get to. Plus spiders! My husband used them occasionally but makes sure it's when I'm not in or I'm downstairs doing something else.

Good things:
Had two family/friend events - enjoyed them, didn't worry about calories
The afternoon tea was amazing and I enjoyed it for what it was, rather than worrying about the calories
I've been able to have a treat without going massively over the top. A fancy chocolate has not lead to eating the whole box - unexpected!
I'm making plans for Christmas/birthdays and looking forward to cooking and trying new things as opposed to getting myself in a state about cake!

I'm still getting all my fruit and veg and goodness and when I look in the mirror I think I look OK!