The MN solutions to all problems

[Wishimaywishimight]

LTB (obviously)
A spa day
A bubble bath
A glass of fizz
Posh chocs

For children;
Hot chocolate

I can't think of any more but I am sure there are a few!

I did. Years ago. My then 14 yo hacked the router and turned it back on. Then changed the password!

Chili con carne, curry takeaway and jam sandwiches are suitable for any and all occasions.

'When someone shows you who they are, believe them.'
Always posted by some nut job after some harrowing story of abuse. 😑

You don’t need a cheap moisturiser, you need Tretenoin. Use my referral code and we can both get a discount whilst walking round with a face that looks like it’s encountered a footner

Looking for advice on how to deal with unreasonable family members? Just send them a long rather business-like e-mail composed by MNers setting out what they have done, how you feel about it and what will be happening in the future. They are bound to read it carefully, reflect on it, and change their ways and definitely won't ignore it/take the piss out of it/tell you to F off.

Send him a link to this thread….

Yes cos that’ll calm things down won’t it, 300 posts ranging from sensible ( albeit a response to a one sided picture) to completely demented, which while we’re at it will probably allow him to work out your login and read all your other posts.

Be incredibly rude and abrasive for the most minor annoyance (under the guise of 'maintaining boundaries' or demonstrating 'zero fucks given' )
Usually seen on in-laws or neighbours threads.

“You have your little family, OP. Your dh should cut the apron strings and never see his parents again, and certainly not at Christmas, which is family time .”

Any work issue: “Report to HR” even if OP works in a farm shop with two other people.

Tell OP with useless twat DH who does nothing with DC, leave him, he will have to have kids 50%. Like that's going to happen.
Leave
can't afford rent /mortgage
end up doing it all anyway..great idea..

"Change the locks"

Turning off the WiFi is a bit like noise cancelling headphones which is another incessant bit of advice,

You may need to use the WiFi

You may need to hear things!

Just have a chat with (XYZ)

throw some money at it!

Tell naughty/lying/disobedient children that Santa is watching. This works all year round.

Also threaten to cancel your DCs birthday party.

Raise it with the teacher, but pick your battles in case you are "that parent".

Neighbours a minor irritation? Neighbours visiting park outside your house? Mum at school gate gives you a dirty look?
MIL doesn't gush over your like your DM?
Log it with 101! NOW! It could be a pattern...right ok...so you seriously think police keep a book on every non criminal irritation. They can't turn up for a huge number of actual crimes!

“There’s no need at all to spend a lot at Christmas: two used colouring books from the charity shop and my kids are delighted!”

Said by poster who has a 2-year-old and a newborn. Teens are going to be just thrilled with a grubby Connect 4 and a handful of 90s dvds….

Amazing! 🤣🤣🤣

If someone is really hard up - try selling things on EBay. Because people scraping by on minimum wage are bound to have all sorts of valuable objects they don't need cluttering up their homes.

If anyone complains about a bullying or unreasonable parent "oh but they're your mother!' As if the act of giving birth means a woman can be endlessly cruel, even abusive and still be adored and accommodated. Some mums are horrible - deal with it!

Don't do any parenting if you're a step parent.

Get your free half hour with a solicitor.

Go back in time and have no or less children. Because you chose to become a parent you are not allowed ever have an issue with anything, ever because you made your bed.

My answer to her reply would have been "I guess that's a yes then" [pointed stare]

Oooh yes, I do, and my mobile - at bedtime. Every night.