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Original poster

Do I have adult ADHD? Casual musing

92 replies

Lentilweaver · 16/12/2023 03:40

I am in my 50s, so I grew up when nobody knew what it was. But a couple of friends who do have ADHD have told me they think I have it! I am really wary of the way every behaviour is pathologised these days, so I am not inclined to believe them. But just listing why they think I have it:

I am a very, very high energy person. I have actually become more energetic in my 50s, as I think often that life is too short, so I want to do everything now while I am healthy. I don't do wild parties, but I am always going to exhibitions, gigs, theatre, anything that is happening. This is in contrast to some ( most) others this age.
I talk a lot, very fast, and possibly too much.
I walk a lot and will always walk everywhere if I can rather than drive or take the Tube ( in London zone 3 so this is easy)
Impatient
I am very peoply and love meeting new people of all ages. I am the organiser in my friends circle.
I get bored very easily and am constantly seeking a dopamine rush: in relatively harmless ways like reading everything I can get my hands on, or taking a lot of weekend trips, or constantly joining new Meetup groups, or getting addicted to Twitter ( I have reduced that now)
I used to be very messy when younger, but I have learned to be tidier now. Will never be neat though.
I can't just watch TV; I have to be doing something else at the same time, like sorting laundry or answering emails. I am always multitasking.

I am visiting family overseas now, so taking a break from work and my usual routine. I feel almost bereft when I do nothing.

Thoughts?

OP posts:

Original poster

Lentilweaver · 16/12/2023 03:45

Oh yes, I have always had trouble with waiting my turn and not interrupting others, but DH has called me out on this, so I have got better.
I do have good focus, though.

OP posts:

everyredsock · 16/12/2023 03:46

I'm no expert but you sound like someone with a lot of energy, not someone with ADHD.
People with ADHD tend to have traits that can seriously negatively impact their lives and need either meditation, masking or a lot of effort on their part to overcome their issues.

Magenta82 · 16/12/2023 03:59

Do you have hyper focus? One of the main symptoms is getting so wrapped up in doing something that you lose all concept of time. I sometimes find that I have been working on a document at work for 4 hours straight, when I was younger the whole night would disappear and it would be time to get up because I was reading.

Original poster

Lentilweaver · 16/12/2023 04:37

Writing all that down in one place, I sound insufferable!

I have always had trouble meditating too; my mind leaps about. But I think that is actually normal for most people.

@Magenta82 I don't think I have hyperfocus, no.

In any case, I don't think anyone can get a diagnosis on the NHS, so all this is just ideal musing. I seem too old to do much about it now. I think I am going to have trouble retiring though.

OP posts:

confiscatedtables · 16/12/2023 04:45

I work with teenagers with adhd and their behaviour isn't anything like what you've described.

Original poster

Lentilweaver · 16/12/2023 04:47

@confiscatedtables right? Quite a few of my friends and acquaintances have self-diagnosed themselves with adult ADHD though.

I know it's underdiagnosed but I also feel wary of everything being pathologised, like I said earlier.

OP posts:

Magenta82 · 16/12/2023 05:11

You can't self diagnose though, you need a psychological assessment and questionnaires filled out by someone you are close with now and someone who knew you in childhood. It also needs to have a major impact on your life.

FictionalCharacter · 16/12/2023 05:16

That doesn’t sound like ADHD. You sound like someone with a lot of energy, not ADHD. People with ADHD have difficulties in their daily lives because of their traits, they’re not just busy and impatient. You’re not describing anything that has a negative effect on you, is distressing you or is making it difficult for you to achieve things.

junebirthdaygirl · 16/12/2023 05:37

My ds has a formal diagnosis of ADHD and sounds nothing like you. He has hyperfocus if interested in something..often not the most useful..and no focus on necessary things. He is very impulsive especially with spending . He doesn't go to many things or have great energy as seems exhausted from overthinking and overstimulation and needs a lot of time alone. He does have a very demanding job. You can do an assessment online. I remember there was about 50 things and he ticked 40 and l ticked 7 so it's a good indicator.

You sound like an intelligent person who needs brain stimulation and with plenty of energy which sounds great. Just enjoy your life if its not driving your loved ones mad!

RMNofTikTok · 16/12/2023 05:45

OP, I'm diagnosed with ADHD. I have 65,000 unread emails in my inbox. Go and look at yours now. If your inbox is clear, you're not drowning in paperwork being shoved under your computer desk, you don't have out of date food in your fridge and you've never forgotten to do your laundry, you do not have ADHD. You are describing all of the positive aspects of having ADHD, and have not mentioned the pitfalls....

Original poster

Lentilweaver · 16/12/2023 05:58

Well @RMNofTikTok I have some unread emails, some out of date food, and some undone paperwork. Never any undone laundry. But nothing too alarming.

I guess the pitfalls are that my family sometimes gets annoyed with me being up at 6 am on a holiday!I am happy to go off by myself though and leave them to snooze. DH and DD sometimes say I am like the Energiser bunny. That can't be much fun to live with perhaps.

OP posts:

RMNofTikTok · 16/12/2023 06:13

Lentilweaver · 16/12/2023 05:58

Well @RMNofTikTok I have some unread emails, some out of date food, and some undone paperwork. Never any undone laundry. But nothing too alarming.

I think if you can organise yourself to get up and out at 06:00, you very likely don't have ADHD 😁 my morning typically involves me going into waiting mode and leaving getting ready until the last possible second because I get distracted, I drop DD at school at 08:59 most days as a result. I do not have enough executive functioning to be able to get up and out early of my own free will.

Quantify some unread emails? How many?

How out of date is the food? What prevents you from throwing it away?

By paperwork do you mean a few letters, or whole bags of it?

Do you frequently lose keys/shoes/phone/charger?

Have you ever locked yourself out of your house?

Have you ever been burgled as a result of forgetting to lock your house?

Do you frequently forget to attend appointments, or miss them due to being late?

ADHD isn't just about being energetic, it's underpinned by executive dysfunction. Most people with untreated adhd are riddled with anxiety and low mood, and I'm just not getting that vibe from you.

AceofPentacles · 16/12/2023 06:17

Sometimes these kind of energy levels or displacement activities can be due to suffering childhood trauma. Like you hate being alone, want to be accepted by everyone and so on.

Leafysuburb · 16/12/2023 06:21

You sound like an extrovert. If you look at the facets of extroversion it includes energy and gregariousness. You're also probably high on openness, willing to try lots of new things etc. But you might be slightly lower on conscientiousness if you find organization a bit tricky and don't mind a bit of mess. So I'd say it's just personality, not ADHD.

Chilicabbage · 16/12/2023 06:27

I don't do wild parties, but I am always going to exhibitions, gigs, theatre, anything that is happening. This is in contrast to some ( most) others this age.

most of my mum's circle do that in their 60s...
You sound like her (bar the chatter) and no, she is not ADHD. Just a healthy, energetic woman with interests and mind which needs to be stimulated (healthy mind). And habit of doing x things at once which she does too.

I have ADHD and you sound nothing like anyone with ADHD I know. Most of my mind dopamine comes from "oh I need to do that, but... Later... But it needs to be done... But maybr it can wait.... Needs to be done!... Well yeah so in an hour... Oh hour passed, let's give it another hour..."

Original poster

Lentilweaver · 16/12/2023 06:42

@Chilicabbage I didn't mean to sound ageist. Sorry, I put that quite badly. I do see many of my friends of the same age are not so keen on going out any more post-pandemic, especially in the winter. I have taken to socialising with people much younger.

@RMNofTikTok no, none of that sounds familiar. I am usually very punctual and not too dysfunctional, except at certain times in my life ( when I had PPD for instance). Unread emails: maybe 20 but I can see they are not important; newsletters and such.

I should say my 78-year-old mum is exactly like me, and has a roaring social life.

And another factor is I WFH these days, only going into the office once or twice a week, so I guess I have more appetite to go out. My job isn't very stressful either, unlike DH's.

No childhood trauma that I can identify, but I definitely don't like to be alone, and I am most definitely an extrovert.

OP posts:

Magenta82 · 16/12/2023 07:12

Sounds nothing like ADHD at all

ToughTitty · 16/12/2023 07:37

I am in my 50s and was diagnosed as a teenager on the verge of being excluded from yet another school :)

I now have a chronic illness sadly so I can't walk everywhere but I used to beforehand. I have learned to channel my aggression but I still get terrible hyperfocus which I hate. As someone mentioned, you're describing the good points about it but none of the bad things. I have spent all my life trying to contain my behaviour basically!

ToughTitty · 16/12/2023 07:39

And I'm lucky in that I got a good job and could focus on that but I still can't sit still in long meetings etc. I don't tell people I have it other than those who are close to me.

ToughTitty · 16/12/2023 09:22

If you are worried about your behaviour though, it's always worth talking to someone than worrying about it :)

Bifitybofity · 16/12/2023 09:23

No. It sounds nothing like ADHD at all

rorret · 16/12/2023 09:25

I have ADHD and ASD and that doesn't sound like me at all - you're not describing any of the executive dysfunction I have at all.

fpqand · 16/12/2023 09:29

There isn't "adult ADHD" it's just ADHD, children don't just lose it nor adults gain it! But no what you've written isn't ADHD as I know it, it's more complicated than simply having more energy and needing to be busy, the needs can be intrusive and overwhelming, and the fact you call yourself an "organiser" is the biggest indication to me it's not ADHD.

DieuEtMonTwat · 16/12/2023 09:35

I am also in my 50s and am also wary of pathologising normal behaviour. I don't have ADHD that I know of, but I would "tick several boxes" (over 7,000 unread emails; know that I'm supposed to be somewhere in four hours' time so start doing something that completely absorbs me and means I end up in a mad rush; drink too much to try to shut my brain down; am catastrophically untidy, not just a bit messy; incapable of doing one job such as emptying the tumble dryer, because other things catch my attention after I've unloaded two items which I then put down and can't find again. And so on. I have been the same since childhood. It does actually affect my life but I still wouldn't say I "have ADHD".

Psychoticbreak · 16/12/2023 09:36

RMNofTikTok · 16/12/2023 05:45

I have diagnosed ADHD (and ASD) and my email inbox is cleared down, I have a very organised desk, my fridge has nothing dying in there either. I do have laundry mind you in the machine since yesterday I now need to rewash but that is about it from your list!

OP you would need to get a formal diagnosis, so many traits of adhd and other things can be attributed to so many things it would be impossible for us on the net to diagnose you.

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