Is this an appropriate portion for DS12?

[JacksonPercy]

DS12 is trying to get a bit fitter as he competes in a sport and wants to get better. He’s tall for his age (around 5 ft 5ish) and isn’t a skinny build, he’s not heavy but he’s got a little bit of podge around his middle/torso (you wouldn’t really notice with clothes on). He’s got a good diet overall, likes fruit and vegetables and loves trying new foods but he does have a big appetite so I’m trying to make sure his portion size is right.

I’ve attached a photo of tonight’s dinner - it’s most certainly not “insta worthy” but I swear it’s tasty 🤣! It’s a medium size plate, half with lettuce and cucumber, around 20ish pasta shells, 3 beef meatballs and a slice of garlic bread with some cheese on top. The sauce is just passata mixed with herbs and he’ll have a cup of semi skimmed milk. Does this seem reasonable? If he‘s hungry after he’ll have a granola yoghurt tub thing/fruit/oat biscuits.

He’s got extra training sessions/running plans in place for extra physical activity and I just want to add that this is all led by him, I would never restrict his diet or anything like that or force exercise - he genuinely just wants to do better at his sport. I eat like a horse and don’t put on weight and I’ve never competed in sport so I haven’t had to think about this kind of thing.

Oh, come off it!!

That is NEVER a sharing plate for 4 people!! 🤪

Unless you are Posh Spice and you've invited 3 size zero mates around to eat!!

Thats not a dinner plate, its a side plate. I eat more than that

More protein definitely, and if he's having yoghurt after I'd give him full fat greek yoghurt it will keep him satisfied longer.

My ds is a little older (14) and like a rake. He has just this evening polished off 2 chicken breast, 2 sausage, 2 rashers of bacon, roast potatoes x 5 small, peas carrots brocolli and a giant Yorkshire with gravy. He was also getting a little chunky age 12 but he's shot up and is like a string bean. If you're going to change his diet at all I'd say meat and veg and go easy on the carb. Plenty of protein. What you have given him there is like a ladies diet meal in my opinion.

If you are certain that he isn't secretly binging on rubbish then I would take him to the doctors. There is no way he should be chubby on the portions you are serving.

Haven’t read all the comments yet but imagine similar has been said already. My 6 year old would eat that sized portion, plus a yogurt for pudding

Are you joking?

You call 5 pieces of pasta and 3/4 of a meatball each a meal!

You serve up I/4 of a piece of garlic bread to your husband for dinner?

Give over love.

I've just read he's on school dinners and also stays at dad's. You're on a road to nowhere if that's the case. He's eating foods you're not aware of or have prepared for him yourself. Plus a takeaway every week is a lot. He could be overdoing the processed and rubbish food when you're not there and it's so easily done. It's so hard for anyone to maintain a healthy weight these days when we're surrounded with processed addictive and highly marketed crap food.

Both my kids (who are sporty) would eat that and then be demanding snacks for the rest of the evening. A 12 year old boy doing lots of sport should surely be offered an adult size portion? sorry OP but that looks starter sized to me.

https://tdeecalculator.net/

calculate his energy needs with a calculator like the one above, for a slightly pudgy 12 I wouldn't suggest trying to create a calorie deficit at all just make sure he isn't overeating and let him use up the fat as he grows.

I think she was joking, yes.

A bit like the the MN chicken serves 18 people plus leftovers for two weeks.

Doesn't look enough to me. My teen DS's have100 gm of cooked pasta, sauce, and bread and butter.

13 yo who is growing like a weed and 5.10 would also have pudding, 18yo who has finished growing doesn't

Yup, looks like a tiny amount of food, it’s on a tea or side plate. It’s not a medium sized dinner plate.
I’ve honestly seen toddlers have more to eat than that, but that is probably what you are aiming for.

There have been numerous click bait posts lately, designed to garner responses for the amusement of the posters

If he’s really a bit overweight and eating small portions like this then it must just be a pre-puberty podge thing - in which case I think you do genuinely need to assume it will pass and focus on healthy food in reasonable portions.

More protein and wholemeal rather than white carbs, and also ideally more fibre-y veg and a bit less salad.

@RainbowZebraWarrior All the competitive under eating on MN and feeding growing lads on side plates has clearly given me a sense of humour failure

She is joking, yes.

wait for his growth spurt, that will sort it out. 5.5 at 12 is still quite small

My son's 13 and that amount of food would be fine for him. He's average build and height for his age and weighs just under 7 stone.

3 meatballs between 4 people? Are you the Borrowers?

My (just) 3yo could eat that in a sitting! He's tall and slim and active. Afterwards he'd have fruit and yogurt, then a small piece of cake or chocolate.

I’ve attached tonight’s dinner which is leftovers from last night as he trains late on a Wednesday. I added an extra slice of garlic bread but otherwise it’s the exact same on a bigger plate - the biggest plates I own.

I take on board all the advice about adding more protein etc and will definitely do that moving forward. I’ll look at the Greek yoghurt option too, I thought the granola pots were quite healthy and he loves them - he only has about two a week though. He usually gets 4 meatballs but after the comments at the weekend I thought I should cut it down a bit - clearly I was wrong. I absolutely refute that he’s starving though, believe me he wouldn’t hesitate to say if he was! He isn’t eating tonnes of crap daily, I can see what he buys at school on the app and he doesn’t go to the shop much, once a fortnight when out with friends and he buys what he wants (usually a Gregg’s or a burger).

I don’t have an eating disorder as stated by some nor am I ashamed of my son. As I said before, I eat like a horse - I’m 5ft8 and a size 8, I’ve been trying to gain weight most of my life. I drink two pints of full fat milk a day!

I also think the majority of folk on mumsnet live in a completely different world from me. I was raised on beige foods and tomato sauce. I live in a very deprived area where the reality is, most kids don’t touch fruit or vegetables. Breakfast is a can of monster on the way to school whereas DS has brown bread toast and boiled eggs. It might not seem it to you but as a single parent working full time and being out till 9pm half the week for his sports, I’m trying my absolute best (although I acknowledge I need to do better with nutritional value). In a matter of a few days I’ve heard my DS be called fat multiple times, been told by parents he’s too heavy for the team and I should be watching what he eats and now tonight been told I’m starving him - its bloody exhausting, I can’t win. Top that off with an upset DS who just wants to do well at his sport!

I didn’t ask about fitness etc as I know how to work on that, we’re going to start running together, he wants to join the gym with his friend and I’ve found extra drills for him on YouTube that he wants to do. I asked about portion size because I don’t understand how he isn’t fitter with what he eats and how active he is.

Thank you to the people who have give decent advice, I have taken it all on board and will make sure he’s getting more nutritionally dense foods and bigger portions along with extra exercise. Hopefully it’ll help or he takes a growth spurt and the mean comments stop.

Ps. DS LOVES ICEBERG LETTUCE AND CUCUMBER! I’m not bloody forcing him to eat it, he’s loved it since he was 2 and the only reason I discovered that is because he would eat it when we were feeding our pet rabbit.

Pps. He was not eating the rabbits lettuce and cucumber because he was starving 😆.

The veg is good but he needs more protein & the carbs are refined - he needs wholewheat pasta.

I think that looks like a delicious balanced meal. Don't change a thing.

My son is a bit older but not tall, and even at that age it wouldn't have been enough for him, he would have wanted three times the amount of pasta and two or three more pieces of garlic bread. Sometimes he has more than one dinner! If he hasn't eaten enough he will just fill up on massive bowls of cereal before bed.

Absolutely hear you. Maybe we both need to have a Massive Salad to recover from it all 😁