Is this an appropriate portion for DS12?

[JacksonPercy]

DS12 is trying to get a bit fitter as he competes in a sport and wants to get better. He’s tall for his age (around 5 ft 5ish) and isn’t a skinny build, he’s not heavy but he’s got a little bit of podge around his middle/torso (you wouldn’t really notice with clothes on). He’s got a good diet overall, likes fruit and vegetables and loves trying new foods but he does have a big appetite so I’m trying to make sure his portion size is right.

I’ve attached a photo of tonight’s dinner - it’s most certainly not “insta worthy” but I swear it’s tasty 🤣! It’s a medium size plate, half with lettuce and cucumber, around 20ish pasta shells, 3 beef meatballs and a slice of garlic bread with some cheese on top. The sauce is just passata mixed with herbs and he’ll have a cup of semi skimmed milk. Does this seem reasonable? If he‘s hungry after he’ll have a granola yoghurt tub thing/fruit/oat biscuits.

He’s got extra training sessions/running plans in place for extra physical activity and I just want to add that this is all led by him, I would never restrict his diet or anything like that or force exercise - he genuinely just wants to do better at his sport. I eat like a horse and don’t put on weight and I’ve never competed in sport so I haven’t had to think about this kind of thing.

Tall handsome husband

Everyone on MN has one 😉

And grated carrot, red cabbage, spinach, kale and some black beans, chickpeas or other type of lentil. Even a hard-boiled egg cut up in the salad would help add more protein.

OP--as others have said, he needs lean protein and complex carbs, not simple carbs. Lifting weights would help tone him quicker than just the sports. Another big thing is to have nutrient dense foods as snacks and not chips, biscuits, ice creams etc. Fruit is also important part of any diet as long as it's not overdone. Smoothies can be good, as long as no added syrups, as are protein drinks.

He doesn't need to eat less as much as he needs to eat better.

😂

It's a rather odd looking meal. Since he's wanting to lose weight, I disagree with those saying that he needs more carbs than that. But more protein is needed and more nutritious greens - for example broccoli and green beans rather than lettuce and cucumber.

I describe my 8 yo girl as ‘eating like a bird’ - she would eat nearly all that - maybe not the pasta.

My 13yo, 11yo and 8yo boy would easily eat twice that.

Full fat Greek yoghurt is really filling too for a dessert
Good with banana, honey, peanut butter, berries, whatever you want really
Sometimes I mix it with peanut butter and cinnamon and have it as a dip with apple slices

Oh, that looks delicious! Now I am starving! (2 hours until dinner...sigh).

Adults with food issues ideally should not go anywhere near children' meals or have anything to do with what they eat.

Unfortunately it is unavoidable when they are also a parent.

You can talk it's a side plate not a dinner plate by the garlic bread. Are you getting side plate and saucer mixed up? My autistic son has that type of garlic bread, it fits like in the picture on his plastic children's dinner plate (same size as a side plate).

Not enough for a 12 year old boy. He doesn’t need to be losing weight as he’s about to have a massive growth spurt.
My DS packed a small amount of podge around the middle at 12. Over the following year he stayed the same weight but added about six inches to his height.

I had a ds who was on the chubbier side at that age, he’s now 17, well over 6 feet, and slimmed right down. I never limited food as I’ve flirted with disordered eating in the past and didn’t want to pass that on. He would and did want more pasta than that, and wouldn’t have fancied that salad much (sorry!) but cherry tomatoes, red onion, cucumber, lettuce in a simple dressing even would be nicer (olives are good too, but I know they’re a bit of a marmite food..)

You've got to be taking the piss, right?

Oh my goodness. Your son must be starving. What are you thinking?
Boys that age fill out a bit and then grow taller. He's probably filling up on stuff outside the home if that is all you allow him. You have seriously skewed judgement.

I'm confused. You say he wants to get fitter for sports... are you (and he) treating that as another way to say "lose weight"? Why? Those aren't the same thing. Unless he were carrying around so much extra weight that it was impairing his movement then losing weight (or calorie restriction) isn't going to improve sports performance. There is absolutely no reason to encourage dieting, here.

Food-wise, have him focus on getting plenty of protein, a mix of carbs & fat, and a wide variety of veggies with portions that fill him up and leave him feeling energized. That will properly fuel him to increase his exercise, which is how fitness improves.

Err no, have you seen the size of those cucumber slices?!

He needs more than that!

Feed him up with pasta and salad.....otherwise he'll be snacking on biscuits and other junk.

Absolutely! Get some specs! Three meatballs for four adults. Get real love

Quantity wise that would be enough for me but I'm a 60 something, 5ft tall, size 8. However there is no way that's enough nutrition/ variety there for anyone let alone a growing boy.
He needs a lot more protein - that's what will help him to grow. And there are no vitamins on that plate. If he loves crunchy veg feed him some colourful ones , peppers, tomatoes, grated carrots etc. Iceberg lettuce and cucumber are essentially just water.

it seems unhealthy to be focussing on his mild excess weight at his age. Feed him reasonable portions of nutritious food, encourage him to keep up the exercise and let him grow healthily into his adult body.

If you aren't certain his dad is feeding him well it's really important you step up. But ensure you are focussing on healthy eating not low calorie eating. .

It's a tiny meal. Not nearly enough for a growing child of 12.

@JacksonPercy can you explain what you think a side plate is? That is a side plate in your photo, it’s obvious compared to the size of the pasta, bread and cucumbers.

That plate isn’t big enough. It looks like a small side plate not a dinner plate

@ShirleyPhallus

you are a very naughty Mumsnetter!!! But you made me lol (didn't spit out my wine though.).

Also my toddler (3) would eat all that for dinner. I’d usually give my son 5 meatballs!!!!

Seriously though if that is all you are feeding him I suspect he is buying sweets and other less healthy food separately to fill up om because he is starving!