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Original poster

Advice please regarding an awkward customer

110 replies

Rhombus79 · 08/12/2023 20:09

I'll try to to keep this as short as possible.

I have a small business on eBay. A buyer bought a fabric and wanted to return it. eBay issued return label, she sent it back. I had to pay the return postage because she stated that I sent the wrong fabric (I didn't but that is another story). But what I received back wasn't my fabric but a bunch of remnants. eBay is pretty useless in such cases. They refunded her because basically I can't prove it was the wrong fabric.

Well, she messaged me on Wednesday that there was a mixup at the post office and I have received the fabric that was supposed to go to her tailor and the tailor has received mine. She wants her fabric back obviously. First thing she asked was if I can send it back, she'll refund me the postage and the tailor sends me my fabric. I told her that's not going to work. I am not paying anything and I want my fabric back first before I return hers.

She now send me another message with a screenshot of two labels. Collection booked for tomorrow and if I am available. The tailor will send my fabric out tomorrow as well.

I have several problems with that: RM collects usually between 9 and 11 but not reliably and I am busy in the mornings, in and out. My husband is away for the week. I'd rather she sends me the label and I drop it off when it's convenient for me.
Another thing, I have no guarantee that my fabric will be sent off, she could as well cancel the label and keep the fabric.

Lastly, the weight is wrong, both parcels are over 2kg. She paid only for a small parcel. Even if I get my parcel back, I might have to pay a fee for insufficient postage.

This is really doing my head in. What would you do?

OP posts:

Ohmych · 10/12/2023 06:31

She's lost the plot. Stay firm don't send it until you receive yours back.

cryinglaughing · 10/12/2023 06:41

Gosh, she is completely unhinged.
Messages at 3am in the morning?!

I hope your fabric turns up soon, so you can send hers off and hopefully be rid of her drama.

Tonybellewsshorts · 10/12/2023 06:43

It is a civil matter. The police will not be interested. It would cost as much as the fabric and claims is expensive to take you to small claims and easily more to issue any letter before action via a solicitor. You are well within your rights to stick with your original plan to wait until you have your goods back first but I understand why you’d want this batshit woman out of your life. 💯 send these messages to eBay so you get your refund reversed. Stay polite. Any hint of threat to your business or you personally may stray into the realms of behaviour that the police would be interested in and in those circumstances I’d be reporting her to the Police. That would be karma!

NigelHarmansNewWife · 10/12/2023 06:49

So she's sent your fabric back now, is that correct? So once you've received it, you'll send hers. Those messages read to me as if they're from someone who isn't a native English speaker.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 10/12/2023 06:54

Does she know that sole traders exist?

DoubleTime · 10/12/2023 06:55

Wow, this lady is a nightmare of a customer. Interesting view of hers , that you have stolen from her when she has both your unreturned material and a refund ?

The police won't be interested. Can you speak with the tailor to confirm if they have the label and instructions to post your material back to you?

Original poster

Rhombus79 · 10/12/2023 07:02

The tailor has posted it yesterday. But for all I know I am getting back a load of tea towels or they are just as bad at putting the right labels on the right parcels, so I'll wait until I have actually received it back.

OP posts:

VioletPickles · 10/12/2023 07:09

I’m invested in this now op. Please keep us posted!

Nicole1111 · 10/12/2023 07:10

This woman is not well but I imagine these bullying tactics have previously served her well, hence her continued use of them. Well done for sticking to your guns. Don’t let her get in your head that you’ve done anything wrong. The police would laugh her out their building.

DoubleTime · 10/12/2023 07:13

Here's hoping that the parcel arrives soon with the correct items, and that this is over for you in a day or two.

Jellybean85 · 10/12/2023 07:15

She's got nothing on you legally at all, totally reasonable to wait for yours to be returned before posting hers.

To have committed an act of theft you need to have 'intention to permanently deprive' which you don't. Not that the police would get involved anyway

fuckssaaaaake · 10/12/2023 07:34

lol, she sounds so thick

RedToothBrush · 10/12/2023 07:46

Start saying that you are financially out of pocket having sold the goods and paid a refund and having to pay postage on a parcel that's nothing to do with you.

You have stated that you will return her goods when you have received your goods AND appropriate postage costs as detailed previously. Otherwise it's not your problem and it's down to her to resolve. You have already acted in good faith.

Any further abuse and threats you will consider as harassment. You will be happy to tell the police if they contact you. It is totally out of order to be sending you messages at 3am.

If she sends you more messages after that, reply with the exact same message.

And yes, harassment isn't understating it.

Keepingthingsinteresting · 10/12/2023 08:12

Yeah,she’s talking rubbish@Rhombus79. The police would tell her to write to you formally and take civil action there is no way a prosecution would be in the public interest.

wat til you get your stuff,if it’s in ok nick then post hers and keep pics & proof of postage. I wouldn’t put it past her to say you posted the wrong things.

ohdamnitjanet · 10/12/2023 08:15

Hatty65 · 08/12/2023 20:31

Well if I were you I'd send her a bunch of random offcuts of the worst fabric you can find (in her prepaid label) and insist that is what you had been sent...

It's a win if you actually get your own fabric back. And its a petty revenge if you don't.

I love this a lot more than I should - I’d be sorely tempted.

wyse · 10/12/2023 08:15

Sorry this isn't a helpful
Comment, but it's made me glad that I don't, and never have done "e-bay"

Hope op gets a resolution. She sounds unhinged. I hope you'll get a refund of her refund? ( does that happen?)

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 10/12/2023 08:15

Video yourself packing her stuff, sealing the envelope and attaching the label. Incase she claims she received a flannel!

Caken · 10/12/2023 08:15

Wrap a brick or something equally heavy with her scraps so the surcharge she has is even higher

ohdamnitjanet · 10/12/2023 08:16

MandyMotherOfBrian · 08/12/2023 22:11

You now need to report her to eBay. Use the content of the emails to show them she has admitted she has not sent you the fabric that they made you refund for.

Show quote history

This, absolutely

RealBigBarbie · 10/12/2023 08:23

She’s a nutjob

adnabaam · 10/12/2023 08:26

Some people are so crazy, I wonder what she is so desperate for the tailor to make. I might be tempted to cut the pieces of fabric a bit smaller so they fit better in the parcel before you send them off 😂

Craftysue · 10/12/2023 08:41

Please report her to eBay - as a seller the fewer people like her on the platform the better. I suspect she's done this before and got what she wanted and will continue - vile and very upsetting for you

Bireadwhatiread · 10/12/2023 08:42

Ebay is somewhat notorious for this- hence people selling on Vinted and Etsy. People know if they complain they will get a refund and often get to keep the product too. The situation isn't helped by some volume sellers selling fake brands (still) and wildly inaccurate product descriptions. When you complain they offer a discount and to keep the product. Buying on Ebay is basically gambling.

HarrumphryBogart · 10/12/2023 11:09

Bless her. If I were going to write anything at all I'd tell her that her misuse of the returns policy resulted in your understandable mistrust of her so she only has herself to blame when she compounded the issue with her utter incompetence. Maybe add a little about her legal knowledge being as good as her grammar and a link to a dictionary!

Original poster

Rhombus79 · 10/12/2023 11:15

Guys, I really appreciate all the advice, hilarious comments and support in this. I can't answer every comment but please know that I am very thankful, it helps keep me sane.

Usually I would vent to my DH but he is abroad, recovering from an operation, in pain and probably bickering with his mum, so he doesn't even know what's happening. But once back I will probably have to tie him to a chair to prevent him from storming off to London to read that lady the riot act.

OP posts:

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