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Original poster

How long were you with DH/DP before babies came along?

119 replies

tryingforasunshine · 07/12/2023 19:05

Wondering what the average is. If you could, would you change it and try sooner, or have more time as a couple?

OP posts:
muddlingthrou · 07/12/2023 20:50

You've just made me do the maths and I've realised it was 15 years 😱 we got together just before I turned 20, we started trying in my early 30s and our gorgeous DD came along with a little help from IVF when I was 34.

No regrets yet, though we'll see if we're successful having number 2 when we restart IVF in the new year - wish us luck!

Vettrianofan · 07/12/2023 20:51

3 years.

chickabilla · 07/12/2023 20:52

6.5 years but I was 20 and he was 21 when we got together. We got married just over a year before.

YoongiMarryMe · 07/12/2023 20:55

11 months

I never tell people in RL that for fear of LOOKS. But it’s 20 years and more babies later and we're still together. 😁

crew2022 · 07/12/2023 20:56

13 months between our wedding and birthday of first dc. Still together 30 years later.

Fifthtimelucky · 07/12/2023 20:56

We got together when I was 27, married when I was 31 and had our first child when I was 36.

Grimmz · 07/12/2023 20:57

17 years! But I was young when we got together and we were long distance for ages, and we were both mostly focused on our careers and independent lives, so it was a super slowburn relationship. Not typical I'm sure. We started trying at the 13/14 year mark. I wouldn't change anything we did at all, but wish that it hadn't taken so long to conceive once we started trying because that was hard going, if you will pardon the pun.

Pifful · 07/12/2023 20:58

19 years, by choice. Should have had them a little sooner.

MilkChocolateCookie · 07/12/2023 21:00

8.5 years. That was good timing for me. Lots of time together as a couple doing travelling and fun stuff, but not leaving it too late either (I was 31 when I had DC1).

RedRobyn2021 · 07/12/2023 21:01

5 years, I was 29 when we had DD

RedRobyn2021 · 07/12/2023 21:02

And I wouldn't change it because we wouldn't have DD buuuut part of me is like, what were we waiting for???

HippeePrincess · 07/12/2023 21:05

7 years with my ex but we were very young, with current dp we started trying and fell pregnant 4.5 years together but had discussed it with a plan in place after 2 years, we just needed to wait for me to graduate, be a year in my job and move house first.

Swirls346 · 07/12/2023 21:08

4 years after we got together our son was born. Ivf baby and took 18 months to conceive.

Copperoliverbear · 07/12/2023 21:13

5 years. X

AllRoadsLeadHome · 07/12/2023 21:13

We had our first after about 6 years together and our second 5 years later. I wouldn’t change it. We knew each other really well by then, had lived together for 4 years and felt like we’d had lots of time and done lots together.

Growlybear83 · 07/12/2023 21:17

17 years. I didn't want children when I was younger and wanted to wait until we could afford for me to stop work for several years. I stayed home until my daughter was eight - it was a real struggle but worth it, and having been able to travel and do what we wanted when we were younger, I was happy to go without holidays, new car, clothes etc.

Flatbellyfella · 07/12/2023 21:18

Thirteen years, i would have loved it to have been sooner.

Echobelly · 07/12/2023 21:20

We'd been together about 5 years when oldest was born, we started TTC 2 months after we got married. Was about right for us - wouldn't have wanted any sooner or later.

MatineeLaughs · 07/12/2023 21:21

3.5 years

LuluBlakey1 · 07/12/2023 21:22

Met when we were 29. Married at 30. By choice, DS1 born when we were 35, then DD at 37 and DS2 at 40.

WeaselCheeks · 07/12/2023 21:32

Ten years, but we'd been trying to conceive for the last two of those. As soon as I was diagnosed with a thyroid issue and got medicated, I conceived.

Absolutely no regrets about timing - I'd been pretty adamantly child free for the first 8 years, but mostly due to my own childhood issues, a terror of pregnancy, and wanting to focus on my career.

When I decided to give it a go (my husband was more keen than I was), I was established in my career, and had worked a bit on my issues. I was still terrified of pregnancy and labour, but I actually had a comically easy time of it!

I feel like I was in the right head space and financially solid in my mid-30s, I certainly couldn't have said that at any point in my 20s. Plus we had a good stretch with just the two of us.

Newsenmum · 07/12/2023 21:34

7 years but we met young. I would’ve had them after 4 years if met later.

WorkCleanRepeat · 07/12/2023 21:36

12 years. It wasn't necessarily by choice but I'm so glad we had that time. Kids would probably have broken us if we had them too early in our relationship.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 07/12/2023 21:38

18 months before dd was born. My parents were even less time and they are still together after 53 years!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 07/12/2023 21:40

It would have been nice to have had longer to have sex fun together first but we were lucky to have been able to get pregnant so easily.

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