What is your biggest regret?

[Whatsmyusername1235]

What have you done that you regret the most? I’m just sat at home feeling sorry for myself and very regretful about something I’ve done recently. What would you take back if you could?

Sticking with DH when I first realised how untrustworthy, dishonest and selfish he was.

I don't really believe in regrets. There's no point in looking back and thinking 'what if'. But I think now that it's a shame I didn't go to university. I had a place but didn't take it up.

bluejelly
Huge hugs and thanks, I hope something lovely happens for you today! x

Bless you, that has made my day! I hope something lovely happens today for you too xx And everyone else who has regrets on this thread - forgive yourself, you are only human and none of us is perfect. We are all works in progress.

This is a wonderful thread. I'm reflecting on some of what I would have considered regrets. But, as I have arrived at a good place, family and career wise, they're not important.
There was the course I didn't take, the house I didn't buy, the house I sold at a bad time - but I have many many more blessings, so I'll focus on them.

Leaving home at 16 to run away with my then narc bf. Falling pregnant at 17-18-19. Letting him have control of my life for 10 years after he left me for someone else. I now suffer with ptsd anxiety and depression. I don't want to say I regret it because I wouldn't have my 3 children today and I wouldn't have gone on to meet my now husband and to have a further two children. But I put my parents through hell running back and forward to him every time resulted in my having another baby. I often wonder where I'd be today if I hadn't have chosen that path. Life's a funny old thing.

Everything really. Not getting married. Not having children. Not moving away from home after Uni. Not having the great career I always wanted. Not going abroad. Staying in a dead end relationship for years.
Basically I've just fucked up my life. All of it due to childhood trauma leading to absolutely no confidence and anxiety issues.
I'm 60 now so it's all too late and I'm quite depressed at being alone in the future.

I hope you’re ok OP.
I see my regrets as part of my journey to get me where I need to be. They hurt of course but I try and keep positive that they’re pushing me to greater things if that gives you hope.
I have quite a few regrets that hang over me.
i wish I spent more time with my grandparents before they passed away. They were parent figures to me but I didn’t appreciate them. They wanted me to stay for a week but I didn’t turn up. It’s lonely without them even 20 years on because they were the rock of the family.
I wish I told someone I was in love with them. He died in a hit and run at 21 before I got a chance. I stupidly think that if I told him that he’d love me back and he wouldn’t have died. Wishful thinking I know.
I regret moving out of my old house. I was fed up with the work that needed doing and I hated my neighbours. But I loved that house. It wasn’t until I moved to my current house that I realised how much and 6 years later I still wish I lived there. I regret moving to my current house more than any regret I’ve ever had. The neighbours are worse, the work is worse and we’re so unhappy.

This in spades. Especially when he shagged around and managed to get care of my children when I divorced him for shagging around. His mother funded the best legal team for him. She’s dead now. Satan has nothing on her.

Thankfully my now adult children have seen him exactly for what he is. But the years I spent battling for my children, in and out of psychiatric units, having breakdown after breakdown because of “the (useless) system” keeps me awake at night even after 20+ years is unforgivable.

I will never vote for any political party again. None of them wanted to know in my hour of need. Bastards!! 🤬

That's an interesting take, after mulling over this question. I thought I wish I had learned multiple languages and left the UK. I don't know when you left but it's become increasingly shabby in the UK in over the last decade. With expensive poor housing and useless government. It's nice to imagine the grass is greener. I used to have a list of destination countries to want to move to, but that list is dwindling, not that anywhere would have me. I was viewing Western Australia on the TV recently and thought, erm, that looks pretty sweet!

I have a healthy imagination for what the State could be, but what do you really expect of one?

A termination when I was 18.
Not making peace with my brother before he killed himself.

So many very sad regrets here.

Mine comes nowhere near to these, but is still a regret. In late 1984 I was in London on a trip down from Yorkshire. I was an old school 'goth' back then and was dressed as you'd expect. I was approached by a woman in Covent Garden who asked me if I'd be available to take part in a music video, which was being filmed the next day. I said no, as I was travelling home the next day and had to be back in work. I still regret to this day not asking her which band it was and not staying down the extra day to do it. With hindsight, taking any extra day off would've have been fine. But no doubt, I wouldn't have heard of the band and the song and video wouldn't have gone anywhere. But sometimes I do wonder if it might have been one of the massive hits from back then....

Going out with my first boyfriend. He set the bar low.

Not getting professionally trained in anything at all in my 20s.

Just get something under your belt. As many as possible.

This.
I also regret not travelling more when young
I am 46 now my kids have hardly had any holidays as we have been too broke. Only 8 years until they leave home, I can't see much fun stuff happening any time soon.

Getting involved in a highly toxic relationship at 16 that ate years of my life and permanently changed the trajectory of my life for the worse. Losing all my school friends because of it. Marrying probably the wrong person later because I was damaged from the previous relationship.
Not establishing a career before I rushed into having kids. Being a SAHM mother bored to death and isolated, then taking unfulfilling jobs I hated to keep our finances afloat.
Choosing the wrong subject for a degree. Hating the University .
Not having really worked at friendships . Moving so often.
Not being more present for my children as I was depressed a lot of the time.
I wish I had gone NC with my parents and stuck to it .
Not standing up for myself more and not taking shit from people.
Having my second child who has caused untold grief and suffering due to MH issues.
Moving to where I live now.

That I didn't choose a better father for DS. Obviously I wouldn't have DS if I hadn't met his dad so I wouldn't change it but I wish he was a better person and I'm partly to blame for having a baby with him knowing what he was like.

I regret not getting help with my depression sooner and ironically, I regret spending time in regret. Get help with it and move on asap.

Sorry, I know I posted this a while ago but I’ve been reading through them all again and definitely have some of the same regrets as some posters. Also there are some very sad regrets that’s some of you have 😥

I regret not sorting my life out sooner it was my biggest dream to move to London but I didn’t do enough to make it happen and it will never happen now. I messed up my relationship with my partner. I basically screw up a lot.

Did he set the bar low, or did you set the bar low?

Marrying my ex
Giving up my career

Why won’t it happen?