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Original poster

What is your biggest regret?

151 replies

Whatsmyusername1235 · 05/12/2023 18:54

What have you done that you regret the most? I’m just sat at home feeling sorry for myself and very regretful about something I’ve done recently. What would you take back if you could?

OP posts:
HeraSyndulla · 06/12/2023 01:47

An inappropriate relationship when I was young and horny. Makes me shudder to think about it now but you learn from your mistakes. It was a hard lesson to learn though.

OhIlovetosew · 06/12/2023 02:28

All my regrets lead to the positive of meeting DH, the most loving man I’ve ever known. So I have actually have no regrets.

bluejelly · 06/12/2023 02:34

stayathomer · 05/12/2023 22:27

If I could go back to my school days and speak out more both for myself and others that were ‘bullied’ is a strong word but… by people in our class I would. I let one girl in particular down and I always hope it didn’t affect her

Try and let that one go. School can be brutal. I was bullied at school, and whilst it was shit, it kind of made me too. I developed more interests and friendships outside school, which led me down different paths that were ultimately good for me. And the class bully? Let's just say they didn't win at life.

GarlicMaybeNot · 06/12/2023 02:36

I've made a shitload of terrible mistakes. Don't regret any of 'em, though, except one.

That one was the day, in 5th form, when I skived off school with my Cool Best Friend so she could teach me to smoke. We had a pack of Silva Thins. She showed me how to hold the cigarette elegantly, how to inhale, and how to blow smoke out in curlicues.

50 years on, I've acquired and broken a lot of bad habits. This one, though, I can't.

everybluesock · 06/12/2023 03:29

Letting my DD watch too much tv when she was a toddler. She has poor memory and concentration and I'm fairly sure it's due to too much screen time.

Not travelling when I was younger.

Other than that, I'm comfortable with all my other 'mistakes'. I'm curious about some things. Eg - I wonder what would have happened if we moved to a house we were interested in in a different part of the country. But overall, I'm happy with my life.

Oliveandrose · 06/12/2023 04:12

aus12 · 06/12/2023 01:29

Moving to Australia. Wish we had of stayed in the UK. Life isn’t as great here as most people think it is.

Mine is the opposite. I wish we’d moved here sooner. I’m so sorry it’s not working out well for you though. X

eujk · 06/12/2023 04:47

Pretending everything was perfect and not telling anyone about my anxiety for years. Thinking it was my fault. Thinking I just had to work harder. Blaming myself.

Eminybob · 06/12/2023 04:51

Lots of stuff. Loads.

But most recently, having been made redundant from a job of 18 years which I hated, I finally got my dream job, absolutely loved it, was so happy. Then applied for a promotion into a managerial role in the same department. I hate it so much. Its hard, it's boring, its stressful. I feel like I have no time for my kids any more, I'm so mentally drained at the end of the day. But we need the extra money and it would be career suicide to attempt to go back.

stayathomer · 06/12/2023 05:18

bluejelly
Thanks, it does resurface every so often though, there was a lot of laughing at people from the ‘cool kids’, it was one of those things where I tried to stay invisible where I could as I was regularly sniggered at but I always think of this girl that they were extra mean to because they honed in on her nervousness and I had one or two moments where me being brave and not avoiding their eyes and hers could have helped her. Or we could have been allies or something. I just hope she turned out to be ok. Those cool kids are now successful in a range of jobs (one a doctor, one a lawyer, one a nurse, a few in business!) and now weirdly are nice people with nice children!

Chouxpastryishard · 06/12/2023 05:50

So many. I’d like to start all over again and make completely different decisions on nearly every case. Mainly not prioritising myself over others .

Lemonyfuckit · 06/12/2023 05:56

I regret things I didn't do more than things I did (with the exception of wasting time and tears on some truly crap men):
Not travelling / doing a ski season after I graduated but hanging around doing a crap job for no money because my shit boyfriend who didn't love me was still at uni;
Missed opportunities with men I fancied - not taking the plunge a bit more and having a bit more fun along the way;

The serious one I regret is following the rules Christmas 2020 and staying in London when they announced that extra tier just for London, and not going to my parents for Christmas as it turned out to be my DF's last (not from Covid).

Sugarmole · 06/12/2023 06:21

That I was born, I was a mistake. Life has been mostly unhappy apart from 1 year.

monicagellerbing · 06/12/2023 06:30

Settling down with now DH at 18. I wish I'd gone to university and lived my youth and had fun. Instead I started working full time in dead end jobs, paying bills and running a house and I'm still doing the same thing 22 years later

NoraLuka · 06/12/2023 06:45

Starting smoking not once but twice. I quit when I was pregnant, then 5 years later started smoking again because everyone at work did. Now I have to quit again and I can’t do it.

Moving in with DP. I’ve been in this house for years and still feel like it’s temporary and I’ll move into my real home one day. Before this I lived in a few different places and as soon as my stuff was unpacked that’s it, it was home.

DustyLee123 · 06/12/2023 06:49

I wish I’d had another baby. DH wouldn’t use contraception, that was my job, but he wouldn’t allow me another child. I should have done it and then left him.

LilyLemonade · 06/12/2023 06:52

Daisypod · 05/12/2023 19:22

I was on the phone to my mum and she asked if I wanted to speak to dad, I said no I'd see him tomorrow. A few hours later he was dead and I never got to speak to him again. I was only 19 and I've never regretted anything as much as that missed conversation.

That’s a hard regret to carry (even if obviously you did nothing wrong). I’m sorry you lost your dad so young.

LilyLemonade · 06/12/2023 07:04

Sunflower8848 · 05/12/2023 23:00

Not comforting my sister when she was upset, she hung herself a few hours later.

So sorry to read this :(

CharlottePimpernel · 06/12/2023 07:05

Not starting antidepressants earlier. Looking back I needed them from my teens but I didn't start until 30- and I lost so much life because I wanted to be dead. I struggled with everything. Uni, work, relationships, social life, eating disorders, everything.
Since being medicated I'm an actual functioning human and I'm so sad I wasted so much.
My parents are very against antidepressants and I wish I hadn't listened to them!
My life would have been massively different.

Derb · 06/12/2023 07:13

No retreats here. Sure I've made mistakes but I've learnt from them.

DuckyShincracker · 06/12/2023 07:34

This has made me ponder as my crappy life choices have given a lot of happiness. My lovely DD's, my lovely DP and weirdly my low paid job. I do get sad I'm so skint but I'm a thousand times happier than when I was considered successful.

klajs · 06/12/2023 07:40

I'd study at a different university, and some decisions I made for our wedding, both quite small consequential things in the long run though (happy with the degree and husband I have ha!)

Lengokengo · 06/12/2023 07:59

I regret not getting childcare at last 1 day a week when my kids were young. I was a SAHM and on my knees with exhaustion. My youngest didn’t sleep and my oldest didn’t listen or take naps. I was parenting at least one , and mostly 2 demanding children aged under 4 from 5am to 8pm every day and awake several times in the night, for about 4 years. I needed a break. The lack of support or a break clouded my enjoyment of parenting permanently.

bluejelly · 06/12/2023 08:07

stayathomer · 06/12/2023 05:18

bluejelly
Thanks, it does resurface every so often though, there was a lot of laughing at people from the ‘cool kids’, it was one of those things where I tried to stay invisible where I could as I was regularly sniggered at but I always think of this girl that they were extra mean to because they honed in on her nervousness and I had one or two moments where me being brave and not avoiding their eyes and hers could have helped her. Or we could have been allies or something. I just hope she turned out to be ok. Those cool kids are now successful in a range of jobs (one a doctor, one a lawyer, one a nurse, a few in business!) and now weirdly are nice people with nice children!

As the girl who was once picked on, I still think you should forgive yourself. You were just trying to survive. And I'm sure there will opportunities to use your voice in the future Smile

ru53 · 06/12/2023 08:51

Lots of mistakes but as PPs have said I mostly see them as learning experiences. My only true regret is not going to a funeral in my teens as I didn’t feel I could face it. I wish I had gone.

ClydeBank · 06/12/2023 08:55

I regret pressing the stop button when I was filming my mum in her back garden. It was a beautiful, sunny day, 2 months before she died. she was laughing and chatting and seemed pain-free. The filming stops midway through a sentence and I wish I had kept going so I could hear her voice a bit longer and see her so happy. Each time I watch it I hope that by some miracle an extra second of footage will appear.