Just fed up. Near 50, been married for 12 years and been together for 16 years. DH low sex drive since 15.5 years ago and no sex happened since missions were completed - with DS2 born. He doesn't want to bother to fix it as he doesn't need it and he has low emotional need - very "logical" brain and rarely find being emotional has any virtue.
Good match intellectually with me, as we can talk and talk and talk and nearly agree on everything. Similar view for life style and parenting.
But really a mismatch at emotional level. There's no cuddles and no touches out of love. Don't mention any flowers for occasions ever. Been through lots of "talks", but he just wouldn't get it and never remember to make efforts (simply because I need it but he doesn't).
Awful at housework. Just doesn't see the mess or problems. I can't even express how frustrated all these years by chasing him to do things that I can't do myself. And he gets crossed if I chased too keenly. We have dampness issue in party wall area for 4-5 years. Not an easy fix. But it seems that I'm the only one who still try to think about it or do anything about it. Now there's rain leaking into our bedroom trickling on 2 walls. He doesn't seem to "get it" that something needs to be done. I've given him the phone numbers of a few "may-be-decent" roofers that I spent hours found online going through forums/recommendations (I hate calling tradesmen myself as I always sounded stupid to them). But he's just "too busy" in the day to call in the last two months. We finally got a roofer to take a look at the dampness upstairs. But when I was away doing school run, he managed to forget to show the roofer the leak in our bedroom! How? I mean? How???
He's not incompetent. He works at director level in IT and has good work habit. But I'm so fed up that he never seems bothered to migrate any of his competence at work to household needs. Is it a man thing??? It's so so so unfair!
In the good days, I feel lucky to be able to afford our life style and to share similar pursues with DH and enjoyed the intellectual conversation. But in the bad days like today, I feel so trapped in life, as I know I wouldn't leave just because of all the above. But I feel scared that one day I would end up having an affair that will end it all nastily.
I know life is short. But still I don't think that's enough to justify ending the marriage just for the above. The only thing I can do is to vent on a forum!
My life, my own choice, my own doing, right???