Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

WWYD NC dad?

6 replies

NotmySundaybest · 02/12/2023 11:14

So after years of narcissistic, unhealthy behaviours from my dad I cut ties.,
He hasn't seen my children for a year, or even bothered to attempt since I stopped making the effort.
On Monday this week someone, assuming him hand posted x2 bday cards through for my kids, their birthdays are a week apart.
Again no effort, knock on etc.
1st child's birthday Thursday. It was a card with £20 in.
Last night my dad text 'hope *** had a nice birthday. Thought he would have thanked us for the card & money....'

That's it.

I've not responded. Tempted to say it was great, thank you for the card etc.

But I am fuming. I don't think I'll get anywhere sending a shitty response.
Would you text back or just leave it?

OP posts:
Original poster
NotmySundaybest · 02/12/2023 20:45

I got another message off his partner today saying it's breaking his heart..

OP posts:
VioletLemon · 02/12/2023 21:12

It's so hard. I am in same situation but it's my partner who is NC with his Dad. I feel you need to do what you know you need for you and your own family. I find the whole thing v v hard but I can't undermine the fact that his feelings have been this way for years and he finally feels he can take the path he needs. Don't be gaslit, I sense a bit of that in what you said your Dad wrote in text.

mindutopia · 02/12/2023 21:23

I am NC with my mum. Me personally, I would not acknowledge. The card would go in the bin and I’d ask the kids to help me choose a charity they want to donate some money to and I’d donate any money there. I’ll gladly treat them with my own money, but absolutely no way I’d accept any money from someone who values them so little.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Original poster
NotmySundaybest · 02/12/2023 22:21

I haven't replied yet

OP posts:
Devon43 · 02/12/2023 22:37

Do not reply. He sounds like an utter coward, posted the letters, getting his partner to lay the guilt on.
I assume he has “broken” your heart many times and not taken any responsibility or shown any remorse. People like him don’t have hearts, my grandfather was the same.
laid the guilt on thick about how much he missed his family but failed to take any responsibility for his previous actions or say sorry.
Don’t allow yourself to get sucked back in, bin the cards.

Original poster
NotmySundaybest · 03/12/2023 08:40

Devon43 · 02/12/2023 22:37

Do not reply. He sounds like an utter coward, posted the letters, getting his partner to lay the guilt on.
I assume he has “broken” your heart many times and not taken any responsibility or shown any remorse. People like him don’t have hearts, my grandfather was the same.
laid the guilt on thick about how much he missed his family but failed to take any responsibility for his previous actions or say sorry.
Don’t allow yourself to get sucked back in, bin the cards.

Your right. I have been let down so many times.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page