Page 5 | Mother in Laws

NowNumber5 · 2023-11-28T20:34:52+00:00

Or is it Mothers in Law? 🤨 (I think it is) Anyway, inspired by a comment from {mention:Teambyron} on the Lakeland thread - Does ^anyone ^actually *like* their mother in law? I honestly do love mine. And I know the feeling is reciprocated because she has always maintained that if me and DH ever split up, she’d keep me over him 🤭 Please share your perspective if you are a MiL! How do you feel about your DiL or SiL?

wherethewildtbingsgo · 29/11/2023 09:55

I really dislike mine. I suspect it's partly personality clash but also I hold a lot of resentment for a few times I feel she has treated me badly and the family dynamic is to never explain, never apologise so I've just been expected to get over it and am expected to welcome her and her (grumpy, emotionally stunted and socially awkward husband) into my home and have full access to my children.

Wishmas · 29/11/2023 10:01

Not actual mither in law. But my kids nan on their dad's side . Honestly she is a fantastic nan kids love her to bits.

But she brang het son up does everything for him . He expected to do nothing its all down to the woman. Never looked after our children when they were younger all down to me . Also he was to be looked after all down to me. He did nothing. Why? Because he works. Thete for he didn't need to parent and needed waiting om. Even now we are mot together he had kids every other weekend. He does nothing his mum does it all he just does the fun bits.

And i believe it comes from his mother. He's in his 50s she's in her 80s .

Oh and she loves to slag me off

Sceptre86 · 29/11/2023 10:20

Mine is a nice woman in general. She is a hands off grandma though and has made it clear she had raised her kids and won't be relied upon. We see her once a fortnight despite living a 10 minute drive away and must always be the ones to visit. Kids as a consequence love her but are not very close to her. I ring her twice a week to check in and have a chat. When we do see her she is very warm and loving. I'd say we get on well enough and I do care for her but the relationship is nothing like the one I have with my mum. Respect goes both ways and she never interferes in my relationship with dh and respects me as her dil as I do her.

CurlewKate · 29/11/2023 10:21

@RigorMortisRadio "Mine isn't awful but equally isn't my favourite person! "

She's not supposed to be. Obviously she might be- but it's pretty unlikely. As I said. Cordial.

ThelmaBorden · 02/12/2023 09:33

IncompleteSenten · 29/11/2023 09:07

That reads like a snide comment. Was it, or were you being genuine?

Show quote history

yes it was a genuine response albeit succinct

‘ lobbed ‘ - great word, almost onomatopoeic
I hit the ‘thanks’ button too after reading

IncompleteSenten · 02/12/2023 10:37

Oh. Well, it really came across as a sarcastic dig about the length of my post, but that's the problem with the written word isn't it? So easy to misinterpret.

WeightoftheWorld · 02/12/2023 10:44

I don't like mine, no, but then neither does DH. She was abusive to him and he's been NC with her for over 5yrs now, the kids have never met her, she's never expressed any interest in changing that anyway. I get on well and am pretty close to DH's two aunties though, that's closest to a MIL type relationship I've got.

DH otoh is very close to my DM.

One of my auntie's is very close to her MIL too.

Just depends on everyone's personalities really.

ThelmaBorden · 02/12/2023 11:43

No, not really …

ThelmaBorden · 02/12/2023 11:44

IncompleteSenten · 02/12/2023 10:37

Oh. Well, it really came across as a sarcastic dig about the length of my post, but that's the problem with the written word isn't it? So easy to misinterpret.

if you say so …

IncompleteSenten · 02/12/2023 12:07

See now that also read as trying to pass a message what with the ...

crew2022 · 09/12/2023 18:29

It's so nice to read some positive posts about MILs. I'm trying really hard to be a good one so I've taken onboard the traits that are mentioned here.
It is really hard when dc are part of a new family and you have to learn a totally new way to interact.

Crunchymum · 09/12/2023 18:42

Mine is one of my favourite people.

She's always been the perfect balance of kindness, honesty and comfort. She's never overstepped, she's never upset me or the children, we've never had a cross word in 16 years, despite us not always agreeing.

I see her socially without the DC (or DP) and we've been on family holidays.

I lost my mum a few years ago and it was heartbreaking but I genuinely cannot imagine life without my glorious MIL. I'm hoping I have many more years with her.

She is such a positive, kind and calming influence on my life. I'm very lucky!!

AuntyMabelandPippin · 09/12/2023 18:45

Mine was lovely, and she absolutely adored her grandchildren.

ReadySalty · 09/12/2023 18:56

Mine is demanding and needy, she sulks and uses guilt tactics when she doesn't get her own way. We have absolutely nothing in common. Her only interests are watching soap operas and cleaning.

Pooracoustics · 09/12/2023 19:00

Sceptre86 · 29/11/2023 10:20

Mine is a nice woman in general. She is a hands off grandma though and has made it clear she had raised her kids and won't be relied upon. We see her once a fortnight despite living a 10 minute drive away and must always be the ones to visit. Kids as a consequence love her but are not very close to her. I ring her twice a week to check in and have a chat. When we do see her she is very warm and loving. I'd say we get on well enough and I do care for her but the relationship is nothing like the one I have with my mum. Respect goes both ways and she never interferes in my relationship with dh and respects me as her dil as I do her.

Your kids aren’t close to her despite seeing her once a fortnight? Crikey! I would have thought once a fortnight was perfect!

Sceptre86 · 10/12/2023 03:44

@Pooracoustics we are asian so maybe it's different but I used to see my own grandparents weekly and they'd make the effort to pop in on us too and we lived further away. Mil doesn't work and is a homebody but unless we make the effort she wouldn't think of doing so. When she does see them she is loving but they have never spent an overnight nor would my youngest stay with her for a few hours without me.

Pbjammy · 10/12/2023 04:07

Yes I do like mine. She's straightforward and fun and very family orientated. Has always been very welcoming to me. She can be a bit... clingy... with DP sometimes but generally I think I've done well in the MIL lottery. A couple of my previous partners' mothers were not nice people at all.

Pooracoustics · 10/12/2023 06:01

Sceptre86 · 10/12/2023 03:44

@Pooracoustics we are asian so maybe it's different but I used to see my own grandparents weekly and they'd make the effort to pop in on us too and we lived further away. Mil doesn't work and is a homebody but unless we make the effort she wouldn't think of doing so. When she does see them she is loving but they have never spent an overnight nor would my youngest stay with her for a few hours without me.

Fair enough, I understand that there are differing cultural expectations around these things.

Speaking as a Celt, once a fortnight would be more than enough for us! 😁

Roselilly36 · 10/12/2023 06:18

My late MIL was absolutely lovely, miss her every single day. She was the best nanny ever to all her many grandchildren. Lived for her family. Wonderful woman.

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 10/12/2023 06:44

I get on better with MIL since having DS. I had a child when I came into my relationship with her son, 13 years,ago, and whilst she has always doted on DD, I never had a relationship with her that I'd just turn up, not without DH.

Since I've had DS, I do have that sort of relationship with her. I'll usually tell them I'm going, and I'll visit several times a week with one of, or both the kids in tow. I'll take the imlaws for days out, and have got a bigger car so they can join us more easily.
We talk each day, and whilst we have a few sticking points, and I wish she would put the kettle on for me🤣, I think we have a good relationship.
She's a lovely nan to the grandkids, and as the mother of her grandkids, I genuinely feel like I take precedence over her son, because she knows if I am to ever ask for help, its genuinely so I can give more to the kids, or her son.

mrstea301 · 10/12/2023 07:52

My mother in law is amazing - kind, thoughtful, generous and just an all around good person. It's really lovely as I can see all of the good qualities that my husband has that has come from his parents!

ElfontheShelfIsWATCHINGYOUTOO · 10/12/2023 08:48

Awful. Hugely critical judgemental, negative.

Mother in Laws

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