Mother in Laws

[NowNumber5]

Or is it Mothers in Law? 🤨 (I think it is)

Anyway, inspired by a comment from @Teambyron on the Lakeland thread -

Does anyone actually like their mother in law?

I honestly do love mine. And I know the feeling is reciprocated because she has always maintained that if me and DH ever split up, she’d keep me over him 🤭

Please share your perspective if you are a MiL! How do you feel about your DiL or SiL?

Can you kindly elaborate? Just curious

My Mil was a lovely lady in her own way. Loved me in her own way.
Couldn't help enough with our children. Babysat at the drop of a hat.
But in 45 years never used our toilet.
Only had 2 cups of tea and that was to be polite as my mum had come for a visit.
Never ever kissed our children or their children. (Dh said she hardly kissed him or his brother.
The first time she babysat brought her own flask, cup and snack.

Don't worry she wouldn't have gone to the loo at Buckingham Palace or had a drink there.

Got on fine with mine. She had a few irritating traits but then, don’t we all? I’m sure there were some traits of mine that irritated her. She could also be generous and had lovely relationships with the children.

Fundamentally, she was a decent woman and as neither of us are/were fans of drama, we managed to get along without any fallings out.

My first MIL was a nasty, abusive piece of work. My life is much calmer since she passed.

Barely a year later, FIL is engaged and remarrying soon. I don't know her very well, but think I'll be getting a good MIL this time. FIL is happier, and nicer to me. I can't help but wonder how things would have been different if she'd been here all along.

My MIL is mean and our children don't want to see her because she's rude and blunt with them too. Really unnecessarily nasty

This totally, she forgot DS birthday this year oh and mine to. She only has 2 grandchildren and they are both mine.

I really love my MIL. I'm currently pregnant and aspire to be as good a mother as she is ❤️

My MIL is great. She's genuinely a good person who would do anything for us. She treats me like her own daughter. She is always reasonable and fair.

I quite liked her as a MIL and she was supportive, to a point. As an ex-MIL she has drawn firm boundaries as to what she will do. I'm expected to contact her to arrange for her to see her DGC. (Ex lives in another country). Nope. Not going to happen. I called her for a period of time but when it wasn't reciprocated I stopped.

We're friendly when we do see each other, but we are both very clear that there is a strong divide now. My ex's/ her son's behaviour toward me was unforgivable, and he destroyed me financially and yet she wouldn't lift a finger to help the DGC but pays for my ex's rent, etc.

I loved my mother in law - she was an amazing person - funny, kind, intelligent and wise. I felt accepted by her from the word go, and she was very supportive of me - she didn’t hesitate to tell dh off when she felt he was not treating me right.

Sadly we lost her to cancer 8 years ago, and I still miss her. Awful as this will sound, I felt closer to her than my own mum - when mum died earlier this year, I was sad but not as sad as when MIL died.

I am a MIL now, and I have modelled myself on my MIL - I think my DIL thinks I’m doing a good job.

Nope, she a a covert narcissist. Not a MIL but with my ex long term partner I adored his mother and she was (is) like family to me

I despise mine. She says awful things to me and to her own daughter, always when it's just in a one to one setting, so no witnesses. She treats DP like a Saint, he can do no wrong and yet he spends his life avoiding her. I have nothing to do with her now. She whinges to DP that she doesn't get to see her grandchildren so he'll reluctantly take them round every so often but they always have really strange interactions. It's all very odd. It's a miracle that DP and his sister are so normal!

Loved my MIL, she was always fair, a good laugh and always reliable. She let me live with them for a year once me and DP got together, I loved living with her.
We sadly lost her in 2021 and I still get upset now, I wish she was with us seeing her grandson growing up, they would have been so close.

I couldn't stand the first one. I tolerated her to the point when I couldn't any longer. She passed before I left the ex. My FiL was a wonderful man, though.

I love/d my 2nd MiL dearly. I still do. Unfortunately, my 2nd husband passed unexpectedly 5 years ago.

Two of the 4 other siblings caused chaos when my husband passed. There's nothing new there. They always do when there is a drama to be made.

My MiL removed herself from our lives after the service. It was very hurtful. I get through why. It's her daughter who is her primary carer and only daughter who lives 5 minutes away. My MiL is in her 80s.

I have indirect contact by card at birthday and Christmas. I do what is right. I still have contact with other members of the family.

I thought you wanted to hear from MILs?
I have 2 DIL. One hates me (really not sure why although I am sure I have done something to upset her but she's not said). The other one seems to like me. I like them both.

Nope.. we don't speak

I loved my ex-MIL. I miss her much more than my ex-husband. my ex-FIL was lovely too.

My current ones are ok but we have so little in common. I don’t enjoy visiting.

Sounds lovely, lucky you. I have despicable in-laws, it's refreshing to hear other people's positive stories. Stay blessed @Pebblesandwaves

I had the best mil in the world. A wonderful, wonderful woman who never had a bad word to say about anyone, was unfailingly kind and helpful. She was also intelligent with a great sense of fun. I was lucky to have her and we all miss her so, so much. My poor husband and sil especially, she was such a lovely mum to them. I wish I could just rewind a few years to before bereavement repeatedly hit our family, we’re missing far too many people round the Christmas dining table nowadays 😢

@crostini , that's got to be a reference to a line in Iolanthe -,'He shall prick that annual blister - marriage to deceased wife's sister' - surely?! 🤣

It's not that there are no redeeming features, I recognise she's selectively very generous and certainly she loves DC. But no, I fucking hate her. Selfish, arrogant, manipulative, lazy, hypocritical, entitled, sooooo rude, sooooo negative. If I never saw her again I'd be delighted.

lovely essay, thanks

My ex mil was a combination of your best friend and worst enemy. I wasn't a fan.

I get on fine with current mil although she has always kept me at a bit of a distance and is much closer to her dd and sil than us. There's been numerous passive aggressive comments but it could be worse.

My mil was on the whole well meaning, loved her dgc. She got a bit paranoid and difficult but when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s we realised why. She died 16 years ago and I miss her, she had a good sense of humour.

My own dm was treated really badly by db’s ex wife, who is a nasty bully.

I have a dil and a sil. My dil is a wonderful person and my ds is lucky to have her, we made a pact that if I overstepped she would tell me to F off. Fortunately we’ve never really fallen out.
My sil is a good dh to my dd and he is kind and hard working. I get on well with him but he clashes with dh a bit because dh is bossy.

I'm so glad there are so many posters with lovely MILs. Mine is a rotten old bitch.