Page 7 | Middle class families seem so much busier in the run up to Christmas

bombastix · 26/11/2023 21:16

Actually what I do remember is my parents rolling their eyes at having to go around; this was usually where the adults had a drinks party and us kids were not really the focus but you had to "dress nicely" ie velvet dress and patent shoes for me.

The UK has changed a lot in the last 40 years, but the day itself was always a thrill and we loved being at home most of all, in the cosy house, which smelled delicious and was lit up.

AmazingSnakeHead · 26/11/2023 21:17

Oh and we make a day out of baking mince pies and a Christmas cake

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/11/2023 21:20

crackofdoom · 26/11/2023 19:10

Valeriesknickknacks my suspicion is that it's the other way around. People achieve financial middle class hood because they are high energy people. They have always had the energy to do the extra curriculars, study hard and achieve good results, work at the same time if necessary, exercise and stay fit, get out, socialise and find a good mate, do the long- hours entry level internships in their career of choice etc etc. Of course, genetics might come into it too- high energy children of high energy parents?

I’m financially middle class.

We are a very lazy family.

Peablockfeathers · 26/11/2023 21:21

It's weird because now I can afford to do tonnes of festive things with DS although we have lots in the diary it's not as 'busy' as my parents used to be trying to create the magic and memories on a shoe string. I can just book stuff on my phone and turn up, they'd be scrambling round months beforehand to find free stuff to do or to make things themselves. At the time we never realised just how much work they must have put into Christmas, invariably the best memories are just spending time together Xmas day in our jammies, if I could travel back in time I'd certainly say as much as we love everything you do relax and enjoy it and take some of the pressure off!

FreshWinterMorning · 26/11/2023 21:22

Julimia · 26/11/2023 21:06

You think paying more gives you a "better' panto than amdram??' Oh no it doesn't!!

Notjustabrunette · 26/11/2023 21:25

I’m MC, but I don’t do ‘all’ the Christmas things as it’s too much to fit in and costs a fortune. Here’s some cheap things you can do; carols at the church, local Christmas fair/market (our town has one, sells some christmas crap, has a free grotto and parade), drive around the neighborhood to look at people’s Christmas lights, local amateur dramatics panto, make home made mince pies etc.

FreshWinterMorning · 26/11/2023 21:25

DGPP · 26/11/2023 21:11

This is a pretty nasty post. My kids adore all the Xmas things we do, I’m not forcing thanks out of them all the time in return. We have a brilliant month and all love it.
Just because people do things differently doesn’t remake them shallow or fake

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That was an unnecessary post I agree. Loads of parents I know do loads of Christmassy stuff with the kids, and yeah it's for the parents too, as we enjoy it too. But to say it's performative and so on, is nonsense quite frankly.

Onceuponaheartache · 26/11/2023 21:25

Dp and I are both very low end middle class,we don't go overboard on gifts because quite honestly they are often a waste. Kids like something and beg for it from July to December 24th and then decide they have out grown and require something g else entiry.

So now we go for memories.

Dd is 10, still believes and will hopefully remember the years we have done breakfast with santa, the annual light parade at a local attraction, but we also have a lot of birthdays in December sp there are parties there and also dd's club end of year awards evening.

I can't stand panto sp happy that the school take the kids!

It's not about class divides. It is about what you value most.

WrongSwanson · 26/11/2023 21:27

crackofdoom · 26/11/2023 19:10

Valeriesknickknacks my suspicion is that it's the other way around. People achieve financial middle class hood because they are high energy people. They have always had the energy to do the extra curriculars, study hard and achieve good results, work at the same time if necessary, exercise and stay fit, get out, socialise and find a good mate, do the long- hours entry level internships in their career of choice etc etc. Of course, genetics might come into it too- high energy children of high energy parents?

I think this is a rather disingenuous post (and I say that as a well established member of the middle class going back generations)

Inheritance (particularly these days), nepotism, old boys networks, knowing which university/course to apply for etc all pay a huge part too.

I know plenty of lazy MC people who drift along on the back of an inherited property (or three...) And plenty of tenacious hard working go-getting people who may have done fairly well professionally but not in today's housing market don't have much left after the mortgage is paid

Ramalangadingdong · 26/11/2023 21:27

Santasfakebeard · 26/11/2023 18:51

The mc families in DC school seem to have something on the whole month of Dec judging by the dc's class whatsapp groups. Is it just a middle class thing? Pantos, choirs, concerts, wreath making & mulled wine family evenings, markets abroad, carol singing.
I would love my dc to experience it all but we simply don't have the funds.
Is it just the mc & umc that can afford to offer their dc those festive experiences?

Sounds horrific.

WrongSwanson · 26/11/2023 21:30

FreshWinterMorning · 26/11/2023 21:25

That was an unnecessary post I agree. Loads of parents I know do loads of Christmassy stuff with the kids, and yeah it's for the parents too, as we enjoy it too. But to say it's performative and so on, is nonsense quite frankly.

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Agreed. We pick the expensive stuff we do and the free stuff we do because we enjoy it

So , yes to pantomimes, carol services, skating and skiing and baking and board games. Can't say I post about it really save for maybe a "merry Christmas" type photo of something festive, but I'm pretty bored of social media really

We aren't fussed by meeting Santa /Christmas markets (agree it's largely just mass produced stuff sold from a shed) or mounds of gifts, so we don't do those things

Original poster

Santasfakebeard · 26/11/2023 21:33

ThisHouseWillBeTheDeathOfMe · 26/11/2023 20:05

I think the MC things are either free or low cost though. But aided by large houses/parents in the countryside.

Choir at the local church and christingle service - free.
Carols around the tree at the local estate - free
Making pomanders at home and painting decorations - virtually free
Woodland walks - free
Boxing Day walk along the beach - free
Christmas Eve parties/games nights - free
We have a lake at grandparent's house where we can BBQ on Boxing Day and fish, which is an example of the setting aiding the activity.
Taking cuttings from the garden for centre displays on the table - free

Then everyone tends to do a visit to Father Christmas, and a walk to some Christmas lights/lights switch on.

The more expensive stuff, light trails, Christmas Eve boxes stuffed with presents, elaborate advents, kids Christmas parties/discos at clubs/soft plays, crafting events, breakfast with Father Christmas - are the things that I think are £££, and not "MC" at all.

Panto, sort of on the fence. Local village ones tend to be hilarious because you know the participants, and are £10 a ticket. Panto in our nearest city, good seats are £37.50 a ticket. And panto is for everyone.... Oh yes it is.

So I think the perceived MC activities are far less expensive than the outrageously expensive Father Christmas breakfasts and light trails that I don't associate with MC at all.

This. The families I'm referring to have at least 1 set of grandparents living in another part of the UK & they set off there for the holidays.

Boxing day was an assortment of pics ranging from shooting (yuck), family horsey hacks, sea swim posing in the dryrobe after & hikes...

OP posts:

MudSandWater · 26/11/2023 21:33

Christmas has become ridiculous. The fact that people are starting to celebrate now is just because they have lost all ability to delay gratification.

Guibhyl · 26/11/2023 21:34

Meant to add that the thing that is quite a reliable middle class marker IMO is people having family “gatherings” that actually have quite expensive catering, large family, big house, lots of decorations etc. Also MC people have “drinks with friends” where they’ll do big grazing boards or whatever. You have to be MC to do these in a particular way because you have to have a big enough house to host everyone and have space for people to stay etc.

MudSandWater · 26/11/2023 21:35

Guibhyl · 26/11/2023 21:34

Meant to add that the thing that is quite a reliable middle class marker IMO is people having family “gatherings” that actually have quite expensive catering, large family, big house, lots of decorations etc. Also MC people have “drinks with friends” where they’ll do big grazing boards or whatever. You have to be MC to do these in a particular way because you have to have a big enough house to host everyone and have space for people to stay etc.

I'd say that's more upper class than middle.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 26/11/2023 21:37

Lovepeaceunderstanding · 26/11/2023 19:05

My ‘boys’ are 29 and 33. We made a huge fuss over Christmas but I didn’t even put decorations up until mid December. They got an advent calendar though. Christmas revolved around family, we did usually go to the panto after Christmas and when they were little we always took them to see Santa (free at the time). What they really loved was all being together, playing games and the happiness we shared. If you asked them now I’m pretty sure they’d tell you their childhood Christmas’ were magical. We didn’t do any of the things you talk about. The spirit of Christmas doesn’t come with a particularly high price tag.

I feel similar with my late teen boys. I can't believe all the things that colleagues' grandchildren do these days. It costs so much, it's one event after the other.

ichundich · 26/11/2023 21:39

You sound quite bitter really. Who's stopping you from going wild swimming on Boxing Day for example? Why is that a "MC" thing?

bombastix · 26/11/2023 21:39

Perhaps I should adjust what I said; since I am definitely the "go to the grandparents", carol concerts, panto and wreath person, but that's not something I would think all that unusual, but I would think it weird if you told me about it, posted about it on social media etc. That is the performance as in "I'm just letting you know", as is WhatsApp etc.

Usernamen · 26/11/2023 21:41

MudSandWater · 26/11/2023 21:35

I'd say that's more upper class than middle.

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Having friends and family over to stay is upper class?

I didn’t know my sofa bed put me on a par with landed gentry.

Original poster

Santasfakebeard · 26/11/2023 21:41

Lifeomars · 26/11/2023 20:15

There will be a thread up on here on 26 December asking who has taken their decorations down!

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🤣

OP posts:

Canisaysomething · 26/11/2023 21:42

Some people just like over achieving and making a big song and a dance about it. The ones quietly getting on with their lives aren’t making a fuss on the WhatsApp groups.

Ppzd · 26/11/2023 21:43

I feel so bad because I don't have anything planned for us and my 3 yo except from having 1 couple of friends (with kids) around for Christmas dinner and doing the house decorations together. I've been looking around a little but find everything so expensive, and I end up not booking anything. Last year the only thing we booked was a light show at the botanical Gardens but my then 2yo cried and screamed the whole 15min we stayed until we gave up, then we realised the next day she was poorly as she started a fever that morning, poor little one. What do ppl with limited funds do to make it more festive and special around Christmas with under 5s?

SliceOfBread · 26/11/2023 21:43

landbeforegrime · 26/11/2023 19:51

what i think makes it hard is the absolutely ridiculous number of places now offering a Christmas experience. it's rammed down your throat everywhere. we have tried to limit experiences because frankly seeing Santa 5 times is daft and confusing but you can't move for another restaurant, pub, riding school, theatre, hotel, hall, garden centre, shopping centre, town centre, NT property, stately home, zoo, farm, theme park, school, church, holiday resort etc advertising their xmas special. you could do something different every day in December and still have "missed out" - doing 5 or 6 things is too much but feels like not a lot when there are hundreds of things to do before you even get onto the specialist events - lluk, polar express, flight before xmas, reindeer lodge. bah humbug.

Nothing says Christmas like seeing Santa underground at the National Coal Mining Museum - https://www.ncm.org.uk/whats-on/santa-underground/

Lovemusic82 · 26/11/2023 21:45

Not everything has to be expensive. I don’t have a huge amount of money, this year I am the skintest I have ever been. I’m not that sociable so I’m not bothered about mulled wine gatherings or pantos. We are making a wreath using foraged items from the woods, it won’t cost me any money, I won’t be going to one of those wreath making workshops that costs £50 😬 (youtube is free). We go to a few Christmas markets but rarely buy anything. I’m not sure I could live the MC life style of being so sociable and busy.

WrongSwanson · 26/11/2023 21:48

Ppzd · 26/11/2023 21:43

I feel so bad because I don't have anything planned for us and my 3 yo except from having 1 couple of friends (with kids) around for Christmas dinner and doing the house decorations together. I've been looking around a little but find everything so expensive, and I end up not booking anything. Last year the only thing we booked was a light show at the botanical Gardens but my then 2yo cried and screamed the whole 15min we stayed until we gave up, then we realised the next day she was poorly as she started a fever that morning, poor little one. What do ppl with limited funds do to make it more festive and special around Christmas with under 5s?

Edited

Decorate biscuits with Christmassy icing (you could make the biscuits, or just buy a pack of rich tea or similar)

Go for a walk to look at Christmas lights (even just local houses)

Do Christmas colouring/make Christmas decorations

Choose a bauble at the garden centre

Find a Christmas church service

Baking mince pies together (or jam pies /chocolate pies if they don't like mince meat)

Christmas stories! We have a huge box we get out every year

Write a letter to father Christmas and post it up the chimney

Middle class families seem so much busier in the run up to Christmas

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