I’ve excluded her and I feel horrid

[sowhisper]

DH and I have booked a city break in the new year and invited along my parents. We’ve never holidayed with them before out of the UK. As a gesture of thanks for helping us out financially some time ago, we thought we would pay for their room and flights.

We didn’t deliberately leave out my sister but she is heartbroken and saying she feels terrible to be excluded and that it is really painful. She has her own family and we aren’t that close at all. We also didn’t invite DB and his lot and they don’t seem slightly bothered. We are just two couples so totally had it in mind as a trip we could enjoy. I could have and should have extended the invite to all but it never came to mind given we just wanted to treat my parents on this occasion.

If it’s relevant to add, all families have been on holiday with my parents individually before and we have also been for small weekends away as a whole group. It’s just this occasion which looks different

Should I apologise to her? I don’t know if that will just maybe worsen things. Thanks very much if you read this far.

I’d have lost my cool by now and told her to get a grip and grow up.

what a drama queen she is.

sounds like she’s used to being centre of attention and your parents number 1 and she thinks you’ve stolen that from her

There is a huge age gap between her, me and DB so she did have their undivided for a very long time

Just say you are treating your parents and she can’t come as she’s not your parent.
ask her to suggest dates and places for you two to go to if she fancies it. Don’t get drawn into your parents treat.

Can I ask how old you both are? It absolutely gets on my nerves when grown people act like this. Please don't pander, she knows exactly what she's doing.

Bizarre - she is being ridiculous and needs to get a grip. You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong and if she’s claiming to be ‘heartbroken’ she’s really milking some weird victim complex. Just go ahead and leave her to her crazy dramatics. She obviously feels this will work and you’ll end up grovelling but there is no reason to do so.

She's a cheeky brat.
Be pleased she wants space.
And ignore the spoilt whiny bitch.

She’s a knob.

So even when she's not there she'll have everyone thinking about her. Narcissistic, much?! Put her out of your minds. You've done nothing wrong.

You shouldn't have invited her. There was no need to. You haven't excluded her. Not everything everyone else does is about her, but since she's the kind of person who thinks the entire universe revolves around her and only her, she won't be able to understand this simple fact.

She's angry because she hasn't been able to manipulate you into an invitation that's all. She's upset because she hasn't got her own way. Ignore the dramatics.

Stop trying to make it up to her, there's nothing to make up. The more you try, the more you reinforce the idea in her mind that she's in the right and you're unreasonable. It's not true, it's the other way around. She should be apologising to you for creating drama. It's not you creating it, it's her, there was absolutely no need for this reaction from her.

People will treat you how you let them.

I think that you should actually reply more aggressively now - you’ve tried to apologise and she’s still in her bratty tantrum.

“I am surprised that you are upset about this. As I’ve said I wanted to thank mum and dad for their help and you were not “excluded”, it was simply not to do with you. By all means have some space from me - I hope you use the space to reflect on your behaviour as I haven’t done anything wrong and am quite shocked and annoyed by your reaction and how you have spoken to me.”

quit apologising and give her a shock!

Very spoilt and entitled behaviour from your dsis. Stop suggesting stuff and you should not panda to her. Ignore her

Let her have her tantrum nothing to apologise for. Our family the same 4 siblings we go with parents together and separately and over the years we've all done breaks away with parents aswell nobody gets upset your allowed to treat the parents.

Oh good grief she's an absolute loon. Say nothing more about it to her and just let her wallow in her tantrum OP.

Off the scale ridiculous.

Sulky as fuck drama queen. The refusal to accept any other group options that you’ve suggested is particularly unpleasant and unreasonable. I pity her poor children, she’ll be insufferable with them too.