Definitely not properly porn.

[SiouxsieSiouxStiletto]

Who wants this Des Res for just £70k?

Tempted? And if you could just explain what's happening in photograph 4 I would be really grateful...

Umm it needs a bit of work doesn't it.
Pic 4 , sunken bath infront of a open fire ?
Pic 9 , is that a shower ?

I really like old houses , I'd love to have the £s to do this up

Oh what a lovely project.

Pic 9 , is that a shower ?

Let's hope so. I'm not sure I want to consider the alternatives

I can offer two interpretations

Making a feature from a bomb/hand grenade blast from WW2 or
Sandpit. It's got that scalloped edging you get from the plastic clam sandpits but they've tried to disguise it. Unsuccessfully.

It's got a bit of a chapel vibe going on with the stained glass windows and that ornate wooden hall divider. I was wondering why it was so cheap but then realised the EA is based in Orkney. Bit too far up north for me.

The particulars say storage heater, sunken seat and pond/water feature in living room which I’m thinking is pic 4. Certainly unique!

I think it's a Chapel and the sunken bath bit is for baptisms?

I'm pretty sure that it's a rug in picture 4

Edit: nope sorry, I missed the bit about the sunken seating in the living room. It's not a rug.

Some lovely woodwork. What a shame it's been left to decay.

I love it. It’s wanting some major building work, probably wiring and the obvious proper bathroom install and some carpentry and plastering . I’m gonna punt £60k to have that looking great and feeling warm in winter.
so if you get it for 70 your total spend is £130k for a proper house. It’s not too bad.

The pool thing in the middle of the room in picture four is for storing the goat blood for the special Tuesday night rituals.

You know I'm not going to sleep now tonight don't you?

I like the notion that it had an office.

We viewed a house with a jacuzzi built into the kitchen floor . Even the estate agent was at a loss

Now that is an "interesting feature". I'd fall in probably during the first night.

I once viewed a house that had made the bathroom into a Koi Carp pond.

With a lot of hard work and money that could be beautiful.

Not a chance in hell would I be hosting a wind turbine!

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/137982848#/?channel=RES_BUY

I love it, and the location!

Surely you mean highland cow blood ?🦬🤣.

The whole "hosting" a wind turbine makes it sound like you have invited it round for afternoon tea 🤔

Now I'm picturing a wind turbine rocking up like a triffid for a slice of battenburg.

Well at least it cut itself a slice 😂

Think I'd be bringing in one of those cadaver dogs before even bothering with a surveyor! Was it home to some sort of cult?

Great location, nice and central. A lick of paint and that is some prime real estate

It doesn't appear to have a kitchen!

Normally I'd love that sort of property - but this one gives me the creeps big time.

It's only 48 miles to a mainline train station (Thurso). 😁

Although you'll have to get a boat there first, of course! 😂