Lovely relaxing, mindfull things that make you stressed as fuck....

[Acta]

Earlier this year, I decided to get loads of houseplants because they're meant to be calming.
Nothing has ever had me so bloody stressed...

Some died which made me sad.

Others don't look at all healthy which makes me feel useless.

Others are fine but just look at bit naff in the space I've put them which makes me feel disappointed.

Others have thrived to the point where I've had to re-pot them which has made me happy.

But that's also meant I've needed to buy new pots which makes me feel broke.

And new pots means their original pots are just hanging around now which makes me feel like my house is cluttered.

But then if I buy new plants to go in the now empty pots, I feel stressed because I worry that these new plants might die.

Ad infinitum.

In short - my plans for living among greenery, having purified air, feeling calm among living things has not fucking worked at all

Please tell me what lovely calming, relaxing, mindful things you've done which have totally backfired....

Pedicures - I absolutely hate the small talk and then waiting for the polish to dry and the whole bloody experience! OnLy made worse by the plinky plonky background Muzak. Grr

I thought macrame sounded relaxing. Easy, surely? Tie some knots, weave in some beads. Bingo ! Nice wall hanging, or something. Nope. I just cannot do one of the knots, which seems to be the easiest one. Ive watched tutorials on YouTube, but they all assume you know the knot and go really fast, with their hands in the way. SO frustrating 😫

These give me the absolute rage. It's just treating the symptoms of overworked staff. Treat the cause instead and lower targets.

It's like putting a sticking plaster on a huge open wound.

There's a lovely independent, woman-owned plant shop near me which I'm very keen to support but nearly everything I've had from there has died on me.

The problem is that the lady who owns it gets her plants from all organic nurseries and takes care of them incredibly well. When they come to live with me, they don't stand a bloody chance. I really do try and follow her advice and look up what each plant needs (which is stressful in itself) but I fail miserably.
I find supermarket plants much better - they're genetically modified to withstanding being neglected in the depths of Tesco for weeks on end so they've got a much better success rate with me!

Some of these have really made me laugh.
Once we know that we don't like doing something, why do we go back for more? Spa days, head massages at the hairdressers, the bit at the end of yoga - just say no thanks 😅 Maybe not going along with expectations from others or setting boundaries is the way to go. I have certainly done stuff that was expected of me in the past, but the older I get, the less likely I am to go back to things I don't like. My family now know that I won't be going to watch the panto with them. I can't stand it - makes my teeth itch 😬

I find supermarket plants much better - they're genetically modified to withstanding being neglected in the depths of Tesco for weeks on end so they've got a much better success rate with me!

Love it, OP - you've found your people (or plants). Play to your strengths 🤣

@sockarefootwear , I didn’t actually need reminding of why I’d run a mile from spa days, but thanks anyway. 🙂

Candles, always worried they'll burn the house down so have to keep reminding self to put them out.

Meditation.

My ADHD cries havoc and lets slip the squirrels of war.

An Xmas tree decoration making evening at the local WI...how lovely, I thought! That'll be a nice relaxing time!

It was 2 of the most stressful hours of my life!

I tried (and failed) to make a beaded snowflake thing 🤷‍♀️

I left that church hall a broken woman (with a manky, wonky, tatty snowflake decoration in tow...)

I’ve never done a spa, largely because I know I would hate it, (also no money).
I LOATHE massages, or being stroked or tickled.
(I did do relaxation yoga once at an antenatal class, was enormously pregnant, fell asleep and woke myself up in front of a room full of glamorous pregnant goddesses by farting loudly.)
I hate clothes shopping, it’s fucking horrible.

strangely I love houseplants, gardening and getting tattooed, now that I find good for my mental health.

My sister once rang me after a colouring session at work when they were supposed to be training. She said 1) she’d been banking on the training so she could help a newer member of staff and 2) half of the colours didn’t work!!!

Much the same as you, but all mine are in the garden so everyone walking past can see the abject failures and out-of-control whoppers...

Ha OP! This is how I feel about garden plants. I can’t cope with the pressure of first choosing the correct plants for the soil type, then keeping them alive etc… I’d be useless with an allotment too!

Baths. The time it takes to fill, sitting in it as the water gets colder (and just add some more - the first water out of the tap tends to have gone cold itself by then. Why add more?), and then cleaning the bath afterwards.

The smell of lavender. I can't stand it so it's not relaxing at all, whatever the pillow sprays say.

Meditation. I thought it would be a good thing to try and enrolled on a course. On the third week it was all about gratitude and how wonderful life is and how you should think about how lucky you are. The reason I was trying meditation was to help me find some calm after DP had died four months before. I didn't do any more sessions.

Yes! Happiness. If I feel even the teensiest bit happy, or feel like oh this week is going OK, I immediately feel stressed thinking about everything that will go.wrong. and it usually does 😕

This! It’s fine as part of a yoga practice, no problem there. But if I’m in bed trying to get to sleep, nothing is more guaranteed to make me hyper-focused on my racing mind and pounding heart.

Also, alternate nostril breathing. I have allergies all year round. There is never a time when I can breathe through both nostrils at the same time. Blocking one of them means I switch to the mouth or pass out.

I agree with every word of this. But somehow seem to develop some sort of specific amnesia after every single holiday so that I am desperate to pay lots of money to be able to do exactly this again next year.

The theory, and what I convince myself each year will be reality, is that I will be able to relax, reading a book or perhaps just watching the world go by, under the shade of an umbrella. I will sit in a flattering swim-suit, perhaps with a chic cover-up on top, looking and feeling great. If I start to feel a bit too warm I can have a dip in the pool or get a lovely ice cold drink. Unlike sitting on the beach, I can do this without leaving my hotel so no need to get sweaty travelling or have to lug my belongings around. I will end a day by the pool feeling relaxed and looking radiant, with slightly sun-kissed skin.

The actual reality, that I somehow forget each year, is that I am incredibly pale skinned so will spend the entire time applying sun-cream and/or worrying that I have missed a bit or failed to reapply in time and will burn. There is no such thing as a flattering swimsuit for a slightly over-weight very pale woman who as a rule can't be arsed with shaving/moisturising/fake tan etc. Any cover-up very quickly becomes far too hot and sticks to greasy, suncreamed skin. There is no such thing as a comfortable reading pose on a sun-lounger, especially when you wear varifocal glasses. Even though the pool is in my hotel I will end up carrying a huge bag of 'stuff' that I might need because I don't want to do a soggy walk back to my room. A dip in the pool usually involves dodging other people's inflatables/ball games (even in adult only pools). And for some reason most poolsides and hotel walk ways become are incredibly slippery when wet so going anywhere (bar, pool, back to the room) feels like dicing with death.

I'm terrible with plants OP but my Dad died earlier this year and I ended up with a houseful of chinese jade plants/aloe veras that were in his flat. The bloody things refuse to die, and I'm now surrounded by them in every room as I keep having to split/repot them. I've now got 3 in the main bathroom that are like triffids and DH is muttering that he feels like he's bathing in a jungle and he can't flush the toilet without being attacked I'd highly recommend them in terms of easy maintenance! I do sometimes mutter that Dad's having the last laugh....

How I hate downward dog.

If they are telling you to empty your mind, they have no idea what they are doing and shouldn't be teaching mindfulness!

Love baths (lying in one now). Love massages. Love yoga. Live trying to keep houseplants alive but I am pretty ruthless with the inadéquates.

But I really hated being in one of these Floatarium things. It’s a totally enclosed pod full of really salty water. It’s pitch black, it’s too hot, and you have no idea where you are in the tank so you just kind of Bob around, occasionally banging gently into the side and bobbing away again 🤷‍♀️. There is nothing to do: can’t read, can’t relax. Claustrophobic, boring, and expensive all at once.

'Mindfulness' colouring - I get too stressed out trying to decide what colours to use and then get sad when it looks rubbish. I do like doing the actual colouring though, so I've bought myself a couple of colour-by-numbers books

OMG this is me also - thank you for posting! I even had my toe nails done in a Spa once and it took around 5 minutes to wreck them. I'm useless at this stuff.

I had a massage once, it was very uncomfortable and the least relaxing of experiences!

Anything mindful or meditation related stresses me because I can’t do it. I start worrying people can see I’m not doing it properly and then spiral!