Lovely relaxing, mindfull things that make you stressed as fuck....

[Acta]

Earlier this year, I decided to get loads of houseplants because they're meant to be calming.
Nothing has ever had me so bloody stressed...

Some died which made me sad.

Others don't look at all healthy which makes me feel useless.

Others are fine but just look at bit naff in the space I've put them which makes me feel disappointed.

Others have thrived to the point where I've had to re-pot them which has made me happy.

But that's also meant I've needed to buy new pots which makes me feel broke.

And new pots means their original pots are just hanging around now which makes me feel like my house is cluttered.

But then if I buy new plants to go in the now empty pots, I feel stressed because I worry that these new plants might die.

Ad infinitum.

In short - my plans for living among greenery, having purified air, feeling calm among living things has not fucking worked at all

Please tell me what lovely calming, relaxing, mindful things you've done which have totally backfired....

The scalp massage you get when you go to the hairdressers
Going to the hairdressers
Happiness - and bracing for when someone/something ruins it

Yes to house plants. I always end up with those annoying little flies that live in the compost. Stupid things and just something else 'to do'

Also baths. Yuck. I can't get in now anyway as I'm disabled so I bought an electronic bath chair. It's even worse, as there's more of you exposed and getting cold. Cold shoulders and norks are not fun! Plus being wet and getting out and drying off. Ugh! I end up in a total paddy and tangled in a bath sheet.

My friend loves painting (of the decorating variety) and says she finds it relaxing. What!? Why??

Driving. My granny used to be obsessed with me taking her for 'a nice drive' Now, granted, if you're going somewhere scenic, it could be classed as nice - certainly as a passenger - but driving is not particularly relaxing for me.

The beach. I live near the sea, and love the beach, but I have to wear appropriate footwear as sandy feet make me murderous. I can't do lying on the beach.

Reading on a sun lounger. Arms go into cramps, sun in my eyes, sun cream on the pages. Argh. Not relaxing.

Having my hair done.
getting a manicure
long hot bath.
All boring as shite! I’m itching to get out and do something interesting!

Getting drunk is fairly relaxing as activities go but it fails to deliver on its true potential more and more as I age. Damn liver.

Also, fuck meditation.

Sunbathing. I like the idea of it and I manage to enjoy it for up to a minute every time before I realise I've forgotten my book, my drink is out of reach, the music's the wrong volume. Then if I finally manage to relax into it I start sweating uncomfortably.

Massages. Too ticklish for them.

Having a nice nap and then realising you are either dribbling or snoring or both. Especially on public transport.

Holidays. Fun, interesting, enjoyable, but not relaxing whatsoever, unless no kids and even then...

@DilemmaDelilah I've got a chronic health issue and have one of those wellbeing diaries. On a good day, they can be quite helpful in me pinpointing triggers and trends, etc. On bad days, well, let's just say that I flicked back over it recently. There were a couple of days where I had scrawled in capital letters FUCK OFF YOU WANK FACED CUNTY CHOPS. Not sure who it was directed at, at the time, but can be quite cathartic in itself 😆

OP, you need snake plants.

For me, it's yoga that stresses me out. I should say 'stressed' because I've now officially given up on ever getting into it.

I hate yoga classes with a very un-zen like passion. They induce a level of stress in me that makes the entire exercise completely counterproductive.

I can never keep up with yoga on YouTube and have to keep checking the screen for the contortions of the host, then lose my balance and mess up the poses.

No more. I feel free now.

I'd find going in a Lions enclosure more relaxing than a spa/yoga/mindfulness or deep breathing.

Going for a swim. The swim bit is relaxing, the struggling to get into and out of a small cold damp swimsuit, not so much.

I do actually like yoga but view it as an excercise class rather than a mind-body zen calming activity. It's just the relaxation bit at the end.

Also, cannot see the joy in having a bath. My bathroom is too cold and it's boring after about 3 minutes. If I want to read in the warm I'd choose to lie in front of the fire or get into bed.

House plant food has revitalised my latest plant I am determined feeding it a water, food mix has made it reflower and healthier.

I have gone into hiding to avoid Yoga class after saying I would go to a friend's.
I can not imagine anything so slow and the environment to relaxed for my liking.
Whale music, how would I keep a straight face!

I cannot meditate. I’ve tried so many times but I can’t stop my mind wandering/getting more anxious because I’m focusing on my breathing and now I can feel my heart beating and my
whole body feels wrong 😑 I do find yoga very calming though! As long as it’s in the comfort of my living room, the idea of exercising in public brings me out in a cold sweat!

NC
Due to a medical condition, I have been left with toilet issues and I worry I might need to suddenly go when I cannot physically get out to go eg. any spa treatment, having nails done or the theatre & cinema when sitting in the middle of a long row of seats (usually happens when the seats have been booked by someone other than me).

For my nails I go to a salon where they have a customer toilet I can use first but then I think that the salon must think it odd that I always need the loo before I have my nails done. I kid you not, I have sometimes taken to going to the loo in a nearby bush, to avoid using the salon loo and the salon thinking it's odd that I need to go every time I arrive for my appointment.

duplicate post

Excellent thread. Yes to the stress of mindfulness.

@RainbowZebraWarrior And the pain management real experience. Yes to that. Laughed out loud at your response.

I have a lovely snake plant in my bedroom. She is one of the few houseplants that brings me joy!

This is me! I spend most of massage thinking 'oh must be nearly the end now' rather than just enjoying it. Why do we do this LOL

It’s a simple pleasure for me.
Going for a coffee alone, bliss.

But you can get one of all of the following things happen:

• Order comes out wrong, takes time and what not make right
• someone will sit by me on their phone loudly talking about the mundane sh!t and oblivious to what’s around then
• someone will watch loud videos on their phones (or to entertain kids) without any fucks given for anyone else.

It makes me irrationally angry.

Yoga

Back massages

😱

I disliked yoga for years until I found the right class and teacher. Went to one at the gym in my twenties and it felt more like school PE as the teachers was always telling me off for doing it wrong! While I know some teachers will come over to reposition you, and kindly correct your posture when you are struggling, it was the absolute opposite of zen. Went to another one a few years ago and the teacher was good but really disorganised, and she would keep asking me if I'd paid and saying YOU NEED TO PAY at the end of the lesson when I had already paid for a block booking. I sacked it off as I couldn't be doing with that - it was making me feel stressed, just the opposite of the intention.

I went to the complete opposite with it in my 40s, yoga was all I did for some time (and it kept me sane through the pandemic) and other exercise classes seemed masochistic and that there was always something missing, as yoga is so mind, body and spirit that it's like medicine and it actually has changed my life. Now I go to the gym and do cardio and weights 3 x a week and do two yoga classes, but the yoga still preserves my mood and sanity. I have so much more control over my thoughts and peace of mind, and am much more tuned in when I start to feel anxious or experience strong emotions, and am much better at working out what's wrong if I feel rubbish, and putting things into perspective.

Sitting still and 'being in the moment.' I end up more stressed just from the sheer boredom.

The end of yoga is awful. The actual yoga does me good, I just don't relax at the end.
Chilled music also annoys me.
Mediation, nope. You want me to be calm I'll need a general anaesthetic.

Hairdressers
Gardening
Candles
All really stressful!