For the first time in my adult life I just don't want to wake up tomorrow

[TsunamiPam]

I just feel done.
I'm a student, working full time on placement, two children, single parent, dc is a school refuser and I have to spend up to two hours trying to get her into school each morning. I'm late nearly every day, have to stay late to catch up.
I'm failing at my uni work despite getting a first in my first few assignments. I have a great academic tutor but he can't solve all my problems.
I'm skint. Super skint. Don't know how I'm going to put money in my car to get to work this week. Pay day isn't until 31st. I won't have any money for Christmas as I haven't been able to save.
I don't have any light at the end of the tunnel. With my daughters needs and increasing reluctance to go to school there's just not going to be any way I can go into my chosen career, I'm just not reliable. I'm going to be back in minimum wage admin jobs, not using my potential. Not doing what I love.
I just feel lost. There's no sign of things getting better. There's no help. I'm not entitled to student finance or UC as I'm being paid a bursary by the department of health, and if I leave I have to pay it back.

I don't have any advice as such, but I just wanted to say that doing a MSc with kids while working is one of the hardest things I ever did, and I didn't have a school refuser (so tough on both of you) but did have very unwell newborn mid-masters. I was in a similar position to you in that I needed the MSc to continue with my career. I did get through it though, I look back now and I have no idea how I did it. I didn't maybe get the grade I went in expecting, and it took me a bit longer than it should have, but I got through it. Once you have it no-one can take it away. Maybe you won't be able to use it immediately but you will still have it.

How far into your MSc are you? Can you drop back to part-time to lift the load a little?

Are you absolutely sure you can’t get any UC? The online calculators aren’t great for students.

If you haven’t already done so apply for DLA. You don’t need a diagnosis.

If you rent you could apply for a discretionary housing payment from the council.

That's a good point about DLA. This guide is helpful if you go for it.. https://cerebra.org.uk/download/disability-living-allowance-dla-guide/ I know it is a lot of work (have just been awarded).

Thank you all, some really good suggestions.
I've never considered DLA as I didn't really think that money would help with my daughters needs.

@TiredArse no, I'm entitled but get awarded £0 every month due to the way the bursary is counted as other income.

If you get DLA then you will likely get some uc as you’ll get the disabled child and carers payments. You can ask for it to be backdated from the date it was awarded. Definitely worth calling on Monday for a form.

OP you’re on medical course right? I’m pretty sure midwifery students with children claim
UC on top of bursary. I saw calculation they are showing at job centre, because apparently job centre staff isn’t great with it.

@xogossipgirlxo I don't know their circumstances but I'm not eligible for it

I’m really sorry if I’ve missed it but what about the dad?
I think Dads that don’t pay should be named and shamed, literally broadcast on a website and held to account. The way they get away with providing nothing is disgraceful in this patriarchal society, and single Mums get stigmatised. If he’s dead or something I really apologise for this suggestion! It makes me angry you’ve been left on your own like this and wish you well with completing your studies.

I hope you come back in a few years and tell us all about your amazing career.

OP I'm in quite a similar situation, and I recommend this Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/NFISFamilySupport/?ref=share as the people there will be able you advise re school.

There's also this one for gentle parenting neurodivergent children which you might find useful and supportive with ideas for techniques to use with your daughter https://m.facebook.com/groups/207951976411320/?ref=share

I completely empathise, it's so hard and I don't have any answers. I was googling how to self harm last night but hang in there, this will get better, we can do it. Sending you unmumsnetty hugs.

Please register for support with your university well-being service, they will be able to offer practical help and advice.