When I am in charge of the world

[Hobnobswantshernameback]

People who use "reply all" to emails when it is entirely unnecessary will face lifetime imprisonment without parole
Fuckwits

People who microwave fish at work will be taken out the back and shot.

People who park dangerously outside schools will have their cars confiscated

The concept of gender will become obsolete. However people choose to present, the only thing that makes someone a woman or man will be sex observed at birth.

And if someone plays loud music or noisy games without earphones / has a call on speaker in public, their phone will melt.

People who offer unsolicited personal advice will be mandated to follow that advice themselves.

or face jail time.

What will you do for the (multiple!) recipients who then reply all to say "please don't press reply all?" I feel harsher punishments may be needed.

People who play that awful 'thud, thud' music in their cars, loudly and with their windows open will be ejected from their cars to land in cow pats after passing one of my trillion detectors that I will have had installed all over the place.

Same for those people with exhaust enhancers that sound like Apollo space rockets taking off.

Anyone who believes they ought to be a politician/Minister/PM would be barred from applying.

People who book you on to a hour team call for something that could easily been explained in a two paragraph email.

They will be locked in a room and forced to participate in ice breaker games 24 hours a day until they beg for mercy

This is a good one.

That was meant to be a reply
nonidea why it didn't work

Anyone who plays videos etc or makes video calls without using headphones will be banned from public transport and public spaces generally.

There will be a return to the norm or using 2 spaces after a full stop. This modern nonsense of one space being correct shall be erased from everyone’s memories.

The mention of Christmas, any Christmas shop displays and adverts will be banned until 1st December.

People who use the word "holibobs" will be taken out the back and shot.

People who buy disposable, wear it once fashion will be made to sort through other people's cast offs at a charity shop to see the consequences of their habits.

Buying from tat-merchants like Temu, AliExpress and Shein will be allowed, but purchasers will pay a fine of 1000% of the purchase price to offset the damage these outfits do, and to combat slavery.

Umbrellas will be banned - buy a coat with a hood!

Agree with others about people listening to music / videos on their phones without earphones, and the 2 spaces after a full stop too!

Those (particularly men) who insist on wearing ghastly, slobby leisure wear and hoodies in public will be made to walk a mile with nettles in their footwear

I agree with everything @Anoisagusaris said, and if the video on the phone is porn (as one passenger on the bus was watching recently) they will be castrated in public. Time and place for that, but the bus isn't either of those.

2 spaces after a full stop - it's so ingrained in me that it happens automatically.

Agree with the ban on people watching videos without headphones on public transport. Ditto having loud conversations on their mobiles, especially when they're trying to show off (I recently heard someone talking loudly on their phone on a train say that they were a 'thought leader' 🤔).

When I'm in charge, there will be public information posters explaining basic grammar. For instance, 'It's "could have/should have", not "could of / should of". People who continue to get these wrong will get fined.

<light-hearted. Mostly.>

’Reply’ doesn’t show what post it’s replying to. There’s a push on Site Stuff to get it removed since it’s misleading.

Rewild all golf courses and ban new ones.

Pay a living wage to all mothers.

Middle lane drivers will be tarred and feathered.

Same for cyclists on the road when they have a perfectly good and safe cycle lane.

All motorways will have a lane just for lorries. Any in the middle lane will have their wheels removed.

Someone at work once erroneously sent a message to a group that had 90,000+ recipients. The messages which replied to all telling people NOT to reply to all were at 400+ before IT managed to rescue the situation.

Twats.

People who walk their dogs with extendable leads on pavements will be shot

People who stop right inside/outside doors or escalators etc will receive electric shocks