Ds wants to give some of his pocket money to homeless people

[Wupity]

He has asked to go in to town to do this before Christmas. I am not sure if we should do this or if there is a better way of him to donate? Any ideas? He is 11

Don't give directly to the homeless. If he insists, then have him donate to a local charity that helps the homeless.

xenobitch thanks. Is their. Child friendly way to explain why it shouldnt go directly to them? He wants to feel he is directly donating. I think giving to a big charity feels too abstract to him

You would be better to donate to a charity that supports people who are homeless.

If he’s definite about wanting give to people, how about he spends the money on warm socks or gloves and gives a few pairs out?

Anywhere like shelter or crisis it will go directly to support the homeless as pp says please don't give homeless people money as a former support worker I can't reiterate this enough

take him down to one of your local hostels, contact the workers at the centre, explain the situ and have him visit and speak to some of the people there and the workers who try to help.
what a kind and generous child you have. good for him x

He's old enough to understand that it could be spent on alcohol or they could have the money taken from him.

You could get him to use his pocket money to buy hats and scarves (charity shops or Primark) which he could offer directly to people accompanied by you. Or to give go a local homeless charity.

Explain to him that giving the money to Shelter or Refuge means they can provide safe shelter and food for the homeless people at Christmas. Otherwise he could go into town with you and buy a Big Issue from every seller he sees? Would that work?

I would make some Christmas bundles, some socks, gloves, a hate, some chocolate and a candy cane or something and give a few out.

What a lovely lad. As PPs have said, don’t give money directly, rather to a charity. I’d say 11 is old enough to gently explain why - it’s a good opportunity to talk about the dangers of drugs and alcohol.

I would look for a local charity that supports homeless people. In my city we have a community cafe that offers hot food to the homeless every evening, and hot food at Christmas too. At 11 I expect they would have some understanding if you explained why this would be safer than going directly to the individual homeless person. Otherwise you could suggest he buys some Greggs vouchers or such that he could hand to individual homeless people. That way they could get a couple of hot drinks for example. How lovely to have such a thoughtful son!

I would say that donating to a charity means that the money gets shared equally, and will help more people.

I don't see the issue with giving directly. Assuming or judging what the money is spent on is strange to me.

Have you looked into the Rooster card? The app allows them to split their pocket money into spend, save and give. Mine have raised quite a bit by just putting a small percentage aside per week and then they decide who to send it to. Thete are loads of linked charities.

DD buys items for our local foodbank, would that work for him?

I'm not convinced this would be useful. How many pairs of gloves can a single homeless person use? Unless someone tells you they want gloves, you can assume they have socks and gloves and buying unsolicited clothing items for them will be a waste, as either they'll have to get rid of them or will have to carry them around. I think that even with good intentions, this is likely to be more about making the gifter think they've done something nice than actually benefitting the giftee. What people really need that constitutes a recurring expense is food and shelter.

There is a guy who presents as homeless in my town. I see many young people give him money for food etc.
He goes into the local Spoons and puts it all in the fruit machines.
People giving him money are not helping him at all.

I'd let him give £2 to a homeless person. Why does it matter what they spend it on? Its good to recognise that homeless people are still people.
OK some are scammers but so many are genuine and really grateful and will give them a little boost to know that parents are teaching their children to be kind.

It’s a common view. I think once I’ve handed the money over it belongs to the person I’ve given it to and they can do what they like with it. Giving it to charity just means a proportion of it goes on admin fees. I give money or food.

I understand they may spend it on drugs etc. but a few other good points. It hadn’t occurred to me that is could put them at risk from other people wanting to steal from the homeless person. Also I know people giving directly can encourage fake homeless, although not sure how likely this is. Gambling the money is another very good point I can explain

we saw someone homeless one night opening a pack of haribos and the thought has stayed with him. How he could see it was their little treat that night and how they didn’t have much else. Every night it is cold and wet he thinks about how they must all be getting on. I dont want to discourage his desire to help.

But then I suppose I also dont really want to encourage him to speak to people like this on his own. At the moment I am with him but only a year or two he will be in town with friends and could potentially put him at risk.

I did wonder about maybe giving money to the big issue sellers instead. Or we could just get some presents for the secret Santa charity’s for children. I will look in to local homeless charity’s and food banks

I work with people experiencing homelessness and we ask people not to give money directly as it is often used on alcohol and/or drugs - kind people who think they are helping are often unknowingly feeding the addiction that many people experiencing homelessness are working hard to beat.

Of course not all homeless people are battling addiction, but sadly a very large number of them are and direct money donations, as generous as they are, aren't the most beneficial for the majority of people experiencing homelessness.

What a lovely kind child you have raised. I would personally suggest he offers his time instead of his money and helps out at a local shelter/soup kitchen - however, please bare in mind that many of them won't allow under 16s to volunteer at all, even in the back, and if this is the case with your local ones, then perhaps he could spend his money on donations to take in instead. Make sure you check with them which items of food they need most beforehand.

There will be ots of local charities you could Google and contact to see what donations they are most in need of. We often get inundated with gloves, hats, scarves etc at this time of year - which if course, is lovely, however we are often left with boxes full come the end of winter. There are often other items that we really struggle to get donations of, this will differ between charities so contacting them and asking directly what they need is your best bet. For us personally, we always seem to need more; sanitary products, shoes and underwear.

I definitely think your best bet is small local charities. Best of luck and a massive well done to your amazing DS!

What a kind and lovely DS you have created.

Would it help if you explained to him by giving his donations to a charity, they can prioritise who gets it based on greatest need.Or maybe a good solution is to buy the bags they have at Morrisons- possibly some other supermarkets- where you put them in the charity donation on way out - you could offer to go halves with him.

There's also lots of things not involving money. We have a local charity that takes nearly new or unused children's clothing to provide welcome bags for families who have had to leave their accommodation unexpectedly through family violence or as refugees. If there is similar locally, he could have a rake through of his clothes.

Thinking about it, it's probably not the safest for him to be handing money out directly to beggars. A lot are being run through gangs and even if you're with him, then if he's out on his own on a future occasion then it might be a concern.

@Wupity at 11 he is more than old enough to discuss the various reasons for homelessness and opinions on the best way of helping homeless people.

My son has been with me chatting with homeless people since he was a toddler. He always chooses to give money if he has any cash (he is 9 now). Sometimes I give money, sometimes I buy them food etc, it depends on the person and what they need.

Round here it’s £20/25 a night for a bed in a shelter- giving money to charity is great, but it doesn’t help that individual person when it’s pissing down that night.

Also if you set up a go Henry account for his pocket money there is the option to set up donations to charity through that- like direct debit from their pocket money.

Totally agree