Ds wants to give some of his pocket money to homeless people

[Wupity]

He has asked to go in to town to do this before Christmas. I am not sure if we should do this or if there is a better way of him to donate? Any ideas? He is 11

Not at all. I was actually without a home for some time long ago and I was incredibly grateful for people who gave me some cash to get what I needed with!

Definitely give to a charity, some of which have been suggested.

What changed to get you off the streets?

I'd say rather than the revolving for of the criminal justice ⚖️ system... in/out for petty offences... serving a few months each time and subsequently being discharged back to the streets - I was sentenced to 4+ years and this give me time to reflect and recover from my addiction. On release I was given proper accommodation and support from the relevant organisations that assisted me to live a life without substance abuse...

It’s not an either/or situation though- I have standing orders to local homelessness charities, donate to the food bank (I used to volunteer there too before I became ill/disabled), this time of year I give extra to Christmas appeals and I buy the big issue weekly- and also give money/buy food for people who need it in the street. You can also sign post people to where they can get support- it might seem obvious to you but if people speak poor English or are new to the area or whatever they might not have a clue where to present for help.

Round here it’s £20 a night for a hostel room (£25 at the weekend)- yes there is nightsafe which is free but full, need massively outstrips supply. The money I give to shelter/centre point/st mungos etc helps- but they don’t reach everyone… even if they could increase their provision it isn’t going to happen overnight,

The people on the street today are still going to be there tomorrow, next week, next month and quite often next year whilst they wait for the extra provision that will appear from all the money people don’t give them but give to charity Instead.

There are many reasons why people don’t/can’t access shelters or hostels

1. for one thing they are often affected by gangs and are less safe than being on the streets.

2)you can’t take your dog to most of them.

3)they cost money

4. if you are trying to get clean then you want to stay away from people you know that are still drug using, so it can actually be easier in some ways to avoid shelters where you know people and will be offered drugs.

5)you have issues/owe money to people whom you need to avoid.

Not an exhaustive list there.

Quite how you think giving someone who is cold, wet, depressed, at this time of year probably ill with respiratory issues, possibly jonesing and about to spend their night in a car park (if they are lucky) a bag of chips and something sugary doesn’t ‘help’, I don’t know. It helps them not starve to death over night for a kickoff. It helps them not freeze to death. If you feed their dog it helps them have peace of mind that their companion (and protection, source of heat and reason to carry on) is not hungry. It helps them know that someone has seen them. It helps them know that they matter just a bit to someone, that not everyone thinks of them as a waste of space…

So it was the charities and organisations that helped you I. The end...not someone giving you a sausage roll.

Yes, I'm sure the food and money was gratefully received at the time, however, if everyone who spends £5 every week donating directly gave that to the services, then they'd be able to help more people earlier. Maybe even prevent the homelessness in the first place (like the night stop scheme we were part of)

Without the drop-ins, charities and day centres. I wouldn't of survived - Initially I was a regular user of these sanctuaries, however the longer your homeless the more isolated, defensive and independent you become.

I'm still good friends - 18 years later - with a former volunteer who used to make me a cheese sandwich 🥪 and cup of tea at a rough-sleepers early morning 🌄 drop-in. We occasionally meet up and go for a Macdonalds 🍔🍟🥤

I'll not forget the compassion and good nature of the members of the community - RESPECT !!

A comprehensive, emphatic post... appears with your insight you may have personally experienced homelessness ?

I completely identified with your post...

The person who gave her a sausage roll or whatever stopped her being hungry and allowed her to be a little more comfortable for a while- that is important too.

You don’t know the history/story/background of every person you see on the street- there are so many reasons why they might not want or be in a place where they are able to access support from charities/the council (even leaving aside the woefully inadequate support that is on offer).

Just giving more money to charities in the hope that their services will grow doesn’t make a difference to a lot of the homeless community- they need to be fed, warm, dry and comfortable now- tonight- not just at some point in the future when the system is better.

But by giving them a sausage roll, it stops them accessing the community café at lunch time, where a case worker or social worker is present and might have bee able to get her a bed for the night or got her back home, because she's on the street following an argument with her parents and a mediation service could help her get him.

Instead, she stays in the street that night.

Like I said before. If this was YOUR 17yo child who had run away that evening and faced a night in the streets because she was too upset/scared etc to go back home - would you rather a well meaning passer by give her a sausage roll and a coffee and they walk off with a fuzzy feeling and leave her there in the streets, and that night she has to try and find somewhere safe to sleep. Or would you rather an outreach worker bring her to a centre and help her get in touch with you and mediate in the conversation to get her home?

Give a sausage roll if it makes feel better - but you're not really helping anyone

I don’t think you understand the complexity of homelessness and the issues these people face. You seem to think every homeless person on the streets tonight could have had a bed if they had just done better and gone to the magical council/charity resource fountain.

A person on the street is homeless- they are hungry. They don’t just go trotting off to a lunch club where some social workers are hanging out with food and a bed to give away (?! I don’t know where you live but this is NOT something that is generally available- especially the social worker bit. We don’t have enough SWs to deal with the kids being raped and the mentally Ill people killing themselves, we definitely don’t have enough for them to be hanging around cafes in case a homeless person tips up).

They might go to a drop in, BUT (and this is off the top of my head, not an exhaustive list)

1. there are far fewer of these than you think
2. their opening hours are narrow
3. you can’t go if you are drunk or high
4. you can’t take your dog in them
5. it’s too far to walk and you don’t have enough energy
6. you are ill
7. you are jonesing and can’t focus
8. you have mental health issues and can’t focus
9. you don’t know where there are any drop ins
10. you are an illegal immigrant so are too scared to go to official places
11. you are a refugee with trauma which means you are scared of officials
12. you don’t know drop ins exist 13)you are banned from drop ins for previously bad behaviour
13. you are too ashamed of your situation to be able to face ‘normal people’ and official people
14. you are too embarrassed to face ‘normal people’ and officials because you are dirty and you smell
15. you have tried to access help before and been turned away so you don’t think there is any point
16. you don’t think that you are worthy of the help
17. you are under 18 and ran away from an abusive home and are scared of being sent back
18. you are a victim of sex trafficking and if the gang find out you went anywhere near official help they will beat the living shit out of you
19. you have mental health problems which mean you don’t trust people

so, you look at the homeless person and just walk passed feeling all pleased with yourself because you haven’t given them anything but gave a £5 to shelter last week, telling yourself you are somehow morally superior and that not helping will somehow help them more… and the homeless person, for any number of the reasons above and frequently several of them, stays put. And is colder, hungrier, sicker than they would have been if you had just taken 5 minutes to help in some way.

Clearly giving money to homelessness charities is a good and positive thing, if more people did it the provision might grow- no one thinks that is bad or useless- But equally people who have experienced this life know that it isn’t just as simple as setting up a direct debit and thinking that will help all the homeless people on the street right now not freeze to death tonight.

Absolutely daft idea. I once dated a police officer and was out drinking one night, came across a homeless woman on the beg. He told me off for being so naive as the homeless would just spend it on drugs or use it to pay someone who is exploiting them. Think prostitution, pimps or drug dealers… it all feeds continued human exploitation. So put that idea out your head and donate to a homeless charity. And it’s not safe for an eleven year old to be mixing with vagrants who could be dangerous or untrustworthy.

Goodnight gentleman- amazing post, brilliantly put!
Im a social worker and yes to all of these

The rest of you live in cuckoo land and are clearly privileged.

When there are people on here who have been homeless and are telling us please give direct and/or charity why are you not believing them?

What a great kid for wanting to help the homeless ❤️

Your son could buy thermal long sleeves t shirts, thermal or foil blankets, coupons/cards for costa coffee, water bottles , food, a tent, a waterproof backpack ...

Because the one person who said they were actually homeless acknowledged that it was the support services/charities/shelters was what actually got them off the street. Which is what is really needed. Getting people into safe and permanent accommodation.

Not a sausage roll.

I think you’ll find it was going to prison for a considerable time which helped her kick her habit…

You are showing an incredible level of wilful ignorance and lack of understanding of homelessness, as well as purposeful misrepresentation of what has been said.

"On release I was given proper accommodation and support from the relevant organisations that assisted me to live a life without substance abuse..."

That's what she said.... It was the support and services.

Yep, that’s the whole story, well done.

One person's anecdote doesn't make it true . If every homeless charity, shelter etc says to support them not the person directly, so they can actually get them off the streets etc. Why are they all wrong and this one random person on the internet is right?

Why would you ignore the advice if organisations that have experience in helping people?

It's like ignoring the seatbelt rules, because you know a guy who once knew someone who said they were in a car accident and the fire brigade told him, if he'd been wearing his seatbelt he would have died. So keys all bit bother wearing out seatbelts.

Carry on with your sausage roll if it helps you.

But I'll carry on following the advice of charities and services I've helped and supported and been involved with - knowing they've supported dozens and dozens of people long term, knowing that by offering a spare room through a night stop scheme,I've prevented young people sleeping on the streets.

I’m not believing some random person on the internet, I’m speaking from my own experience.