Ds wants to give some of his pocket money to homeless people

[Wupity]

He has asked to go in to town to do this before Christmas. I am not sure if we should do this or if there is a better way of him to donate? Any ideas? He is 11

How about suggesting he uses his pocket money for a few selection boxes for a food bank? A little treat for dc that are having a tough Christmas. Or in Dunelm they have a tree you take the gift tag off the tree, buy a gift for the child on take tag and they pass it on? That maybe another suggestion.

However I don’t see any issue with him giving £2 to a few homeless folk. I always give a bit of change if I have any cash on me especially to women I see. I don’t get the you mustn’t give them money brigade what if they spend it on alcohol well firstly they aren’t buying much for my £2 and even if they are quite frankly if I was homeless I’d probably want to numb the pain too ( and how many of us enjoy a glass of wine but that’s ok because we live in a house)

Donating to a charity is all fine and halo worthy but it doesn’t help that person that you see everyday sleeping outside kfc buy a bag of chips or a sandwich that day does it now?

I think you already got some food advice and I'm really not sure what the best thing to do is but just wanted to say as well that your son sounds absolutely lovely. 🌹

Thank you some really lovely ideas. He is really lovely and such a kind soul

I agree and actually if it is spent an alcohol or drugs to enable them to survive on the streets and get through the cold wet nights . So be it. Homeless people have lost everything don't take away their ability to make their own decisions as well

@AM1972 I am sorry to hear you experienced homelessness. That sounds tough especially in winter. I hope things are better for you now.

This. Homeless people are people, they are no more likely to be dickheads than anyone else. They are all someone’s son/daughter/mother/father/sibling.

They put up with awful behaviour from the general public, things that people would be up in arms about on here if someone did it to them is their usual experience- people looking down on them, crossing the road to avoid them, ignoring them when they speak- they have the right to spend anything they have however they like… if I was sleeping rough I’d want to be out of my head too.

Whether you are or not in London - I really recommend speaking to these guys: https://underoneskytogether.com/ They have been working with homeless people in London for years and they do initiatives where they take out children with them to support and talk to those living on the street.

Money is a side issue really - homeless people are human beings, very often extremely lonely and all have their own stories to tell - having human contact is so important. But also don't be naive either - there are also risks to be considered so do speak to a local charity or Under One Sky as they can advise.

FKAtondelayo that charity sounds amazing. Unfortunately we aren’t in london

Thank God... there's empathetic members that remain humanbeings and not pretentious, narrow-minded conformist that think lifes a bed of roses.

Totally agree welshphoenix...a lot of homeless people are in the desperate situation through alcohol dependency... they would provably shoplift the poison anyhow. When they get professional support then they at least have a fighting chance to recover and become valued members of the community.

However I don’t see any issue with him giving £2 to a few homeless folk. I always give a bit of change if I have any cash on me especially to women I see. I don’t get the you mustn’t give them money brigade what if they spend it on alcohol well firstly they aren’t buying much for my £2 and even if they are quite frankly if I was homeless I’d probably want to numb the pain too ( and how many of us enjoy a glass of wine but that’s ok because we live in a house)

This x 100.

Let him buy lots of satsumas and hand them out to homeless. Everytime we stop at traffic lights in Birmingham homeless people come to cats to ask for money. I generally give a £1 coin. A few have asked me if I have any fruit. It might be because I had a satsuma on my passenger seat. I take a few now when I'm driving in and they always want them.

I'd do the local volunteer org/charity. He can get a feel for what they do to help - he might even be able to donate some time as well - and it will be safer as it's in a controlled environment.

They're trafficking victims, they don't get to keep any money they beg.

Honestly i'd let him give it directly, no questions asked. Its probably not that much, but the bigger lesson I would think is that he feels the sense of purpose and fulfilment people give when they give to a charitable cause. This will help foster that feeling in him and hopefully he will grown into a charitable generous man who contributes to things with either his time or money in a way that makes a real difference. Just do whatever he wants.

Occasionally I buy a big issue for £20. Always makes someone's day.

After several years of a dipsomaniac, transient lifestyle I was fortunate to land in Rehab for 7 months... which did me a world of good. I'm now detoxing at Mum's (Spain) - after a 2 1/2 year relapse back into alcohol dependancy... I'm positive that this will be the kick-start to the recovery I'm in dire need of.

After 17 years - living in temporary accommodation - I'm now fortunate to have my own place I can call home... very grateful...

Same here. As far as I'm concerned if I choose to give money directly to the homeless person it's not my right to decide what they're allowed to spend it on. Seems really judgy to think all homeless people are going to spend it on drugs, alcohol etc. I think your son is amazing to hold the attitude he does, please don't drum into him that giving direct is a no no, it's really crappy to say only give it to a faceless charity.

WELL SAID👍🏻

I sometimes ask homeless people or big issue sellers of there is anything they want from the shop they are invariably standing outside. I've bought hot drinks, hot food and baby formula.

What’s your reasoning?

You've prompted me to read a little more into it interesting article here

Like I said in a PP, there is a chap in my town who has been handed money by well meaning young people (says he wants it for food), and he goes and puts in fruit machines. There are also beggars who will recognise people who have given them money before, and will harass them for more.

So would you give them money if you could dictate to them how they will spend it?

It’s a donation, once it’s theirs it’s theirs to spend how they will - as a person with free will and autonomy over their choices.

You don’t have to give them money that’s cool, but it’s not ok to encourage others not to because you don’t approve of their spending habits.

Its hardly rocket science.
Unless you really want to pay for heroin/booze and death over hostels, detox and support. Ffs