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Original poster

Tell me honestly how bad the ''ring of fire'' is

123 replies

afternoontea86 · 12/11/2023 15:26

Expecting 3rd baby in mid December. First two I had an epidural and didn't feel a thing but for this one I've decided I want a natural birth. Friend told me she felt like her whole bum was ripping in two and was screaming bloody murder according to her husband. Please tell me honestly how it was so I can mentally prepare!!!!

OP posts:
Delatron · 12/11/2023 16:29

Runningonjammiedodgers · 12/11/2023 16:21

I had an epidural for the first and nothing for the second (this wasn't an intentional decision FYI, it all went a bit wrong and I didn't want to feel out of it with gas and air or morphine). If I was going for a third I would 100% have an epidural. I at one point with DC2 remember thinking if someone had a gun I would ask them to shoot me in the head just to end the pain.

Edited

Yep ditto with the gun. It really was that bad.

TheScientists · 12/11/2023 16:30

My sister asked what it was like the morning after I delivered my daughter and I described it as feeling exactly like being sawn in half. Zero painkillers - unexpected home birth and DD was born very quickly before the midwives arrived which might have been a factor. I didn't tear

I have virtually no memory of it now though, I just know it hurt. So, it will be bad at the time but very briefly and you probably won't be traumatized by it, if you're like me.

I didn't particularly enjoy the contractions either I have to say 😅

LongLiveGoblingKing · 12/11/2023 16:31

It's painful but a thought that I found comforting was that some of the weakest women I know have gone through it more than once. It will hurt but you will be fine.

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CurlewKate · 12/11/2023 16:34

Honestly? It wasn't as bad as my first post birth poo. Now that was truly awful. I could hear the Queen's Speech in the background- I never felt quite the same about Her Majesty again.....

jupitermonket · 12/11/2023 16:38

Long labour for me, with tens machine then gas and air for the delivery. I had a second degree tear and actually screamed during that part, but in all honesty it was still fine! Only lasted a few seconds, and I was high on G&A and relief that the delivery was all done. I actually would have done it all again (much more than the crappy labour).

the stitches Al were actually the worst bit - just a bit wince-worthy and annoying after all the work is done.

you’ll be fine!

Saffrom · 12/11/2023 16:40

I had a 3rd degree tear without any pain relief. I did not scream, or make any sound. I do agree it feels like a ring of fire but by that point 🤷‍♀️ it’s kind of distant, it hurt but not really more than my legs have hurt on a very long run. Much of that area goes kinda numb so you feel less than you would ordinarily, I couldn’t feel the baby moving at all but I could see that he was going nuts as my tummy was moving.

Your friend is a real dick talking to you about that right now 😐

Just before I tore, my midwife said: “Stop pushing!” But my body did it involuntarily without any help from me. Perhaps it would have gone better if I hadn’t been flat on my back but I was so very tired. Also, baby had a huge head. 🤦‍♀️

HipHouse · 12/11/2023 16:43

It was over pretty quickly, so in all honesty, I don’t really remember the “ring of fire”
The contractions were more painful but just manageable with gas & air. I loved the gas and air!

ClairDeLaLune · 12/11/2023 16:44

When I gave birth to DC1 I remember saying it was like pooping out a big TV covered in acid! However DC2 was fine, as everything had stretched already, and I only had gas and air with her. A 3rd baby would just plop out I’m sure!

swiftimania · 12/11/2023 16:45

Other way round for me! Contractions not too bad with either of them but the last pushing bit was utter agony! Both small babies!

Ilovegoldies · 12/11/2023 16:46

I honestly didn't feel it. The whole process was painful yes but definitely no ring of fire.

LBFseBrom · 12/11/2023 16:46

I didn't experience any of that, nor was I asked not to push and, no, I was not drugged in any way, didn't even have gas and air. I went into hospital at 4.30am, my waters having broken at home, and my baby was born just after 6.30am. I suppose I was fortunate compared to what many women have to put up with. A small episiotomy and stitches was the only thing that didn't go natural but not a problem. Most women have that or a tear.

I'm sure you'll be fine, good luck.

Inextremis · 12/11/2023 16:47

Backing quickly out of the thread, as I thought you were asking about the after-effects of a vindaloo!

anon199900 · 12/11/2023 16:52

Three kids with gas and air and I don’t remember it with any of them… genuinely!

PinkyDinkyDoodle · 12/11/2023 16:57

The crowning wasn’t painful - it was more of a relief. I’d had an epidural with my first after 32 hours induction. I had an emergency c section with my second. I was planning on an epidural from the 3rd, but they couldn’t get the needle in. It was so much better than the others, and recovery was much quicker. I didn’t like gas and air.

therealcookiemonster · 12/11/2023 17:00

100% your choice to have any kind of birth you like. but is there any reason you don't want an epidural?

Original poster
afternoontea86 · 12/11/2023 17:01

Thanks everyone! I probably am worrying about the wrong part but my friend told me that about 8 years ago before I was even pregnant with my first and it just stuck with me.

With my first one I got the epidural quite soon as I just couldn't bear the pain and with my second I swore I wouldn't get it but low and behold I did. I hate myself for it after though because I really wanted to push on my hands and knees and move around instead of being on my back with legs in the stirrups.

This time I am definitely going without and I'm also going to try the birthing pool. Hopefully I'll be able to do it!!

OP posts:
Andywarholswig · 12/11/2023 17:04

The crowning for me was really painful - I literally screamed and shattered windows for miles around

DramaAlpaca · 12/11/2023 17:06

My third baby just flew out so I hardly felt it. Contractions are much worse.

BertieBotts · 12/11/2023 17:06

I found it extremely bad, BUT, it is only for about a minute, and you sort of know that the only way out of it is through, and you will likely have access to gas and air if you don't have anything else. So fairly quickly it's over and then your baby is born so you don't care about anything else in the world any more.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 12/11/2023 17:07

Two babies, no epidurals and I honestly can’t tell you what crowning feels like, it passed me by!

TheBirdintheCave · 12/11/2023 17:11

I had zero pain relief but by the time by son was born (two hours of pushing) I was quite numb down there so didn't feel the ring of fire.

Saying that, I did have an episiotomy right before he came out which involved some anaesthetic so maybe that helped?

therealcookiemonster · 12/11/2023 17:12

@afternoontea86 please don't hate yourself for having an epidural! there is no right way to give birth - as long as you and baby are OK, nothing else matters. and no medals are given out for not having pain relief. although with a 3rd baby, he or she might come too quickly for an epidural!

I would also reccommend you do a bit of research on risks around the use of birthing pools.

Jewelspun · 12/11/2023 17:13

I've had two natural births and neither incurred a ring of fire or any bottom pain whatsoever. I've never heard of it and my sisters and other family and friends would have mentioned it when we have discussed giving birth so it certainly doesn't happen to everyone.

Poppins2016 · 12/11/2023 17:13

Would you consider a water birth? I've had two (plus gas and air) and genuinely didn't feel a "ring of fire", because the water helps everything to stretch and relax (which reduces the chance of tears, plus it's very soothing).

RudsyFarmer · 12/11/2023 17:16

I don’t remember any anal pain at all. Excruciating back pain yes. Excruciating period type pain yes.