Tell me honestly how bad the ''ring of fire'' is

[afternoontea86]

Expecting 3rd baby in mid December. First two I had an epidural and didn't feel a thing but for this one I've decided I want a natural birth. Friend told me she felt like her whole bum was ripping in two and was screaming bloody murder according to her husband. Please tell me honestly how it was so I can mentally prepare!!!!

I don't even remember that bit (with 5 babies).

The bit I DO remember as being the most awful feeling, though, is when the baby's body comes (is pulled) out. Like someone washing up in your vagina 😖😬😫 Urggghhhh.

Currently expecting number 3 (two previous natural births) and whenever this conversation comes up I beg women to please consider perineal massages from 35 weeks onward!

‘Compared with no prenatal perineal massage, prenatal perineal massage can reduce the risk of perineal injury, the incidence of lateral perineal resection, and the incidence of long-term pain.’ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35872935/

I only had gas and air with mine, and never noticed the crowning sting I'd heard about. I tore both times too and didn't feel that either.

For me it felt just like your friend - both times. Agony.

I’ve just recently had my 3rd baby and only gas and air, which was the same with my second, with my first I had an epidural and with my first was the only tears, grazes, forceps needed.

I feel you go into “the zone” when you get to that point.

your body just does it and it’s the most amazing thing.

everyone is obviously different. But I’d chose the no epidural over the epidural now after the two great births after my first boy. Xx

I had a water birth with my first and don't really remember feeling the 'ring of fire'. Currently 38 weeks with DD2 and praying I can have another water birth as I think it took the edge of it x

First birth - honestly it was agonising and like your friend said I felt like I was being ripped open. It was the most painful thing I’d ever felt. I’d had pethadine and gas and air. No stitches required.

2nd birth - no pain relief (arrived at hospital at 10cm), still felt it but nowhere near as bad as first birth, although this one resulted in quite a few stitches to a 2nd degree year.

I think it depends on yours and babies position, first birth I was lying down all the time as constantly monitored, 2nd time I was at home on my birthing ball and up walking, arrived at hospital essentially ready to push. That might be nothing to do with how much you feel the ring of fire though - just my experience.

@therealcookiemonster

Thanks for your reply and for the link (our posts "crossed" as I was slow writing mine, hence not seeing the link before I posted)!

That all makes sense, thanks for sharing.

Interestingly, I've found the pool really helpful for pain relief very late on in labour (transition onwards), the relief of getting into the pool vs dry land was immense. I delivered both of my babies in the pool, then delivered one placenta on dry land (only because of wanting to monitor blood loss due to a tear), and the placenta with my subsequent birth was delivered in the pool. I hadn't realised some trusts don't allow women to deliver the placenta in the pool (felt very natural to do so, while having skin to skin with baby).

@HarrietStyles I am really sorry that you had such bad luck all 4 times! tbh I would have recommended you put in a complaint after the 4th time. either you have spectacularly bad luck, or the midwives weren't asking for the epidural early enough or the anaesthetic reg didn't have anyone to call for an extra pair of hands. either way, not good care at all

I've done it twice with gas & air. Just kind of let your body do its thing as much as possible. I'll be honest, first time it was a shock. Felt like I was being torn in two but once you realise that's normal you just kind of go with it. I'd like to say relax into it as much as possible but I realise that sounds a bit odd!
You will be fine & good luck xx

The ring of fire was painful beyond words but it's the sign that it's almost over. For me the intense contractions that went on for hours were far harder, exhausting to cope with and would never go through it again.
Sorry might not be what you want to hear. All that said, some women can cope much better than others and "enjoy" unmedicated labour.
Good luck whatever you decide

I had 2 big babies (9 pounds & second degree tear each time) without drugs and HONESTLY I felt absolutely zero ring of fire. Like nothing, it was like my body numbed the area somehow, absolutely amazing. When my first was born I was just in genuine shock that he was out and couldn't believe it.

(Downside - the contractions hurt horrendously and I think this is why I had no ring of fire, it was like my brain had no more room to process any more pain).

Some women say the opposite and that the contractions were a breeze compared to the baby actually coming out. But it wasn't like that at all for me.

First one was with pethidine, laying down, very painful.
Second one was with gas and air standing up. I refused to lay down, less pressure due to gravity. Although due to meconium I ended up having ventous.

Just to add that I had epidurals with both of my babies, but with DC2 they intentionally let the epidural wear off once I was almost fully dilated so I was completely in control during the pushing stage. No stirrups were involved and it was a great birthing experience. Both of them were back to back and the contractions were unbearable so I couldn't have done it without pain relief. I think what I'm saying is take it as it comes, and bear in mind that you don't have to give birth in stirrups if you end up with an epidural, particularly if your labours are as long as mine!

Labour was agony and to be Frank the crowning was pretty horrendous too. Think I remember saying to the doctor it’s like someone holding a blowtorch to my fanny. I had a fourth degree tear with an episiotomy. Bloody agony.

Didn't feel it with either of mine!

The contractions were the worst bit for me. I think I was pushing for 40 mins and I don't remember it stinging. No tears for me (which I was glad about because I was terrified of this happening). I just pushed when I was told.

It's a relief towards the end of labour when the contractions are at their peak. Just had baby number 3 and the pushing/ring of fire was over very quickly. Gas and air was great x

Thank you for your honesty everyone! Fingers crossed I'm able to do it but I'll come back on in December and tell you all!!

Keep an open mind on pain relief. If you don’t need it, great. But if you do, why hate yourself?

My daughter was back to back and my goodness, the pain! I’ve never ever felt anything close to it, and never wish to again. I tried to walk, move, hands and knees, you name it- no good, I just couldn’t. I just lay in a heap and screamed and screamed for 6 hours. I screamed so badly that they gave me an epidural at 1cm! Like a previous poster said, my body then just relaxed, and I went right up to 10cm in 4 hours. That epidural saved me, and I only wish I could have had it sooner.

I’m not trying to put you off - just to say, don’t torture yourself for no good reason. Do what you need to do to get through it!

I had a pool birth and never felt it

Honestly. Contractions were 100x worse for me. Don't remember crowning being particularly bad at all.

DC1 - it hurt like fuck but it was short-lived and I managed on gas and air (0-10 in 14hrs).
DC2 - didn't even notice it (but she was out in 1h7m from start to finish and my waters broke as she came out!)